And by “it,” I mean the toe I stubbed just now. How could a good and loving God allow me to go through this agony alone?
“You are a failure at calling people back — and at life.”
Bellingham is one of the latest cities to ban plastic bags for businesses to wrap our purchases in. A lot of people find this highly annoying. One sign in nearby Ferndale says, “Buy local. We still have plastic bags.”
The ban is relevant because I was shopping today with some friends at a store in Bellingham’s Fairhaven district. When we went to check out, the lady behind the counter was having a devil of a time packaging some of my purchases. She said the best way to do it would be to use plastic bags.
“But they won’t let us use our plastic bags anymore,” she lamented.
“So break the law,” I said.
As a level-headed narcissistic American I believe in only one great conspiracy theory: the vast and all-encompassing conspiracy to piss me off.
And some days, I am in on that conspiracy.
“Bellingham Bell[e]s, is that a girls team?” asked a friend in town for the weekend.
Those were the two titles that occurred to me regarding news that (count ‘em) eight badminton players have been disqualified from the Olympics for trying to throw early matches in order to draw weaker opponents in later rounds.
I am frankly appalled and outraged to learn that badminton…