Speed Usher!

Last night in Bellingham, at Church of the Assumption, a couple renewed their vows on the 15th anniversary of their marriage. (Priest: “Will you accept children lovingly from God?” Wife, flanked by two young sons: “We did!”) The family also presented the gifts. This created logistical comedy gold.

The mum and dad went in front with the hosts and wine and the sons carried the corporate collection in two-handled cloth basket between them. It was discovered too late that one of the smaller collection baskets hadn’t been added into the larger pool.

Too late, that is, but for the extraordinary efforts of a fortysomething Asian church lady. She booked it up aisle at a pace somewhere between a jog and a speedwalk with violations and managed to dump the last of the offerings in just before the family got to the altar.

Our speed usher turned on her heels and headed toward the back of the church at a brisk but more measured pace. “Good save,” I whispered at her as she passed by my pew, just loud enough for her to hear. “Thank you!” she said.


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