30 and Pregnant

30 and Pregnant June 8, 2011

From McSweeney’s by Rachel Friedman: I didn’t know this was satire, but now that I know what it is, I would urge you to give it a good read for the insight it can bring. Wow.

“What are you going to do?” my friend Kate whispered across the square table at Le Pain Quotidian. She squeezed my hand.

“I have no idea,” I said. I could feel tears collecting in the corner of my eyes. I would not cry in public. I would not. This is all a bad dream, I tried to tell myself.

There were several people to break the news to, first and foremost my husband. We’ve only been married for four years, practically newlyweds! This wasn’t part of the plan.

“You’re… pregnant?” he said when I told him over pasta primavera that evening. “Are you sure?” He eyed me warily. “Is it mine?”

“Of course it’s yours!” I cried. What a cretin. He was all sweet talk during our monthly “dates” and here he was in the sober light of day throwing around accusations….

My friends were of course extremely concerned for me. How was I going to raise a kid at my age? I was practically a kid myself! It wasn’t going to be easy, that much I knew. I’d seen the reality shows: Mid-Career and PregnantStill Renting and PregnantAn Undiversified Portfolio and Pregnant. I didn’t have to have this child. There were options, options I did not want to think about but options nonetheless. I had my whole life ahead of me, after all. Should I really be asked to sacrifice everything because of this one mistake? I put a hand on my stomach, hoping the creature inside would give me some answers. Am I ready for the suburbs? I asked, like it was a Magic Eight Ball. Am I ready for bulk shopping at Costco? Am I ready for negotiating vacation days with nannies? Am I ready to give up sushi?

No answers were forthcoming.


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