I love Adam Hamilton’s new book, Why?: Making Sense of God’s Will, which explores the great questions bundled into the question “Why?” His last chp, called “Why God’s Love Prevails,” is about how to live, how to think, in light of the previous chapters and, in particular, in light of tragedies in this life. Adam is simply at his finest in this chp.
There are four themes in knowing how to face life that sometimes forces us to ask “Why?”
How have you helped people live through difficulties? What themes have been wise and redemptive?
First, God is with us. We fear. Sometimes something happens and the note of fear strikes into the fiber of who we are and what we think — we fear the worst. But God is with us. E.g., Josh 1:9; Isa 41:10; Ps 23:4; 56:3. We may fear what may happen to our children or someone we love, and we can’t know that all things will be good, but we can know that God is with us and with them.
Second, God works through us. God made a world in which he gives us the opportunity to act redemptively in this world. Wow, he’s got a great story about helping a woman.
Third, God forces evil and suffering to serve us. Sometimes we suffer; sometimes those we love suffer; sometimes those we don’t love suffer. But the promise is that God “forces evil and suffering to serve God” (87-88). His two best friends died, and he tells the story of Emmitt Till, who was brutally murdered and whose murder became a powerful source of change.
Finally, ultimately hardship an suffering, evil and sin, will not have the final word. Following Good Friday is Easter. I hadn’t seen this from Frederick Buechner: “Resurrection means the worst thing is never the last thing” (98). God will ultimately triumph.
I think one of the things I have done to help those who are living through difficulties is to open myself to learn from them. My openness to learn from them helps to start them on the path toward turning their suffering to the good of others.
This is not something I just “thought up.” e.g. currently I am conducting an interview with a pastor who has Lou Gehrig’s disease. Somewhere in the process of those interviews I came to realize that he was teaching me, even pastoring me through his suffering.
On one occasion I told him of a struggle I was having and he was able, out of his own suffering, to offer me encouragement and guidance. My sufferings are tiny compared to his. However, because his suffering is so profound, he is able to turn his distress to my comfort. Out of that he finds meaning and purpose in his suffering.
I am probably not saying this well. I don’t mean to sound as if I approach the suffering one as just another person to benefit me. However, I do think we help the suffering by offering an open ear and an open heart to them in ways that help them to see how their suffering can be redeemed toward the good of others.
Comment by Jim — April 25, 2011 @ 8:06 am
Very good little book, pastorally sensitive and theologically astute.
Comment by Clay Knick — April 25, 2011 @ 9:07 am
When someone suffers, many of us are deeply uncomfortable with how to respond. Some respond by wanting to fix things and get the person back to “normal,” or offer cliches about how it will get better or God meant it for a purpose. Others avoid the suffering person because they don’t know what to do or say.
I think the #1 thing in most cases, at least in the beginning, is being a faithful presence. Not trying to “fix” things or offer answers to questions and doubts. Being there for them to vent, to mourn, to remember, or just to hang out. Some reflection on making sense may come later.
I think the theme that emerges when I’ve dealt with my own suffering and walked with others is what you said in your final point: I’ve read the end of the book … God wins!
Comment by Michael W. Kruse — April 25, 2011 @ 11:45 am
Yes, in the end,love wins!
And God gets what He wants,
Being”all in all”!
Comment by Steve — April 25, 2011 @ 12:02 pm