Ann’s Encouraging Words

From Ann Voskamp:

There’s a world that wants to force women into smothering plastic molds and whisper that she wants to be a shape and not free.

There’s a relentless refrain that wants to cage women into polished skin, into glossy boxes, into cheap ornaments and tell her that she really wants this, they know she really wants this.

There’s this beat that beats up women… and you can tell the real men from the immature boys: Real manhood never objectifies women but edifies women.

Real men actually ask women what they want.

Real men hear what women really want is their words and ideas and dreams to carry more weight than numbers on a scale.

Real men hear what women really want is there souls to be appreciated, not their skin to be assessed.

Real men like you who adore women with Einstein-hair early on Friday morning, who think nothing of finding the toilet plunger and braving the back mudroom washroom, who make pancakes on Saturday morning and, real men like you know that sharing a vowed life is the wildest affair of all.

True love isn’t found.

It’s carved.

Carved out of sacrifice. Carved out of covenant. Carved out of two dying to the loneliness of self to be made into one.

You and I, we could let our feet find each other’s under the cotton sheets and we could carve into forever together.

About Scot McKnight

Scot McKnight is a recognized authority on the New Testament, early Christianity, and the historical Jesus. McKnight, author of more than fifty books, is the Professor of New Testament at Northern Seminary in Lombard, IL.

  • J. Vega

    I love the thing about true love being carved! Thanks for sharing this.

  • labreuer

    By this description, there aren’t many ‘real men’; most males are women.

  • Kammy Kolar

    Is this encouraging to men? So wonderful of you to overlook bed head on the woman who has likely borne you a few children. I think the standard here is a little low, actually.

  • Aaron

    Love the sentiment – Really don’t like when people use the “real man” phrase as if some men are fake males. I like how Donald Miller defines a “real man” as one who has a penis

  • MatthewS

    “Real men actually ask women what they want.”

    It can be a powerfully good thing in a marriage (and other relationships) to ask and listen, really listen and hear the other person.


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