Honoring All the Fallen

Honoring All the Fallen May 28, 2016

Boston Common - Memorial Day, 2013
Boston Common – Memorial Day, 2013

Memorial Day is intended to honor those who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces. It began as Decoration Day, a time to place flowers on the graves of those who died in the Civil War, and a practice that took place in both the North and the South. While Veterans Day (November 11) is intended to honor all who served, Memorial Day is specifically for those who died in service.

In our mainstream culture Memorial Day has become the unofficial First Day of Summer. Still, stopping to honor our war dead is a good and right thing to do. Say what you will about the misuse of military power by our political leaders (and I have much to say about it, but that’s another rant for another time), there are times when military force is necessary to stop or deter foreign aggression. Individual soldiers sign up (or in the past, responded to the draft) with honorable intentions. They sacrificed time, comfort, blood, and life – the least we can do is remember them.

In no way do I wish to diminish the honor due our warrior dead. But they are not the only people who were harmed by conflict, and they are not the only cost of war.

With the exception of two notorious days of infamy (December 7, 1941 and September 11, 2001) the American homeland has not experienced war first-hand in the memory of anyone alive today. Even in this age of terrorism, it’s easy to forget that war isn’t just soldiers facing off on some remote battlefield or in some abandoned city. That battlefield was someone’s farm. That city was someone’s home. Maybe those people are now refugees… or maybe they were killed in a crossfire, a bombing raid, or a drone attack.

They never wore a uniform or carried a weapon, but they are still the fallen of war.

We are finally beginning to learn that for many service members, the war does not end when they come home. Some of our returning veterans were treated disgracefully. Some were treated quite well. Many experienced a mixture of both, with plenty of “thanks for your service” but difficulty getting treatment for physical and psychological injuries. PTSD is still poorly understood, and the suicide rate among both active duty and former military members far exceeds the civilian population.

These, too, are the fallen of war.

When I visited St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Dublin last month, I had the opportunity to see their Tree of Remembrance. It is nominally a memorial marking the 100th anniversary of the First World War, but its stated purpose is the “Remembrance of those lost to conflict.” Paper “leaves” are provided for visitors to write messages to or in honor of relatives and friends who were harmed by war, which can then be hung on the tree.

02 240 St Patrick's CathedralI hung a leaf for my brother Ron, who died in 2013 at the age of 64. Ron served in the US Navy when he got out of high school, including a tour of duty in Viet Nam. He came home without a scratch – on the outside. He told a few stories about working as an MP and writing traffic tickets, but mostly he didn’t talk about his time in the Navy. And he never talked about the mortar attacks, fire fights, and other aspects of actual combat. But those memories, combined with other things he brought back from Viet Nam, contributed to his early death and to the great suffering he endured during the last 10 years of his life.

Ron died after having been home for forty years, but he is among the fallen of war.

So this Memorial Day, let us remember our warrior dead. Let us remember those who answered the call to do what had to be done and who sacrificed all they had. It is right and good to celebrate their courage and valor. But let us also remember the fallen of war who never should have been in harm’s way in the first place, and those whose wounds killed them slowly instead of suddenly.

They too are the fallen. They too are the costs of war.

the Tree of Remembrance - St. Patrick's Cathedral - Dublin, Ireland
the Tree of Remembrance – St. Patrick’s Cathedral – Dublin, Ireland

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