Home Again, Home Again, Jiggetty Jog. (Dorothy’s a Rapper, and So is Her Dog.)

Man it’s good to be back home. Dorothy … Whateverherlastnamewas was right: There’s no place like Oz.

What was Dorothy’s last name, anyway?

I guess it was Em. Cuz that was her auntie’s last name, right? She was Auntie Em–so I guess Dorothy was Dorothy Em.

Which means that if Dorthy and her aunt ever went anywhere together, they’d be Em ‘n Em.

Wow. See, now that’s a rap act people would go see.

Baby Got Rainbow!

Wow. I am so torn between continuing this Line o’ Jokes, and … not getting fired by Crosswalk.

Hmmmmmm … pretty tough call. I love blooging here.

On the other hand: Snoop Toto Dogg!

Okay, no.

No!

Anyway, it sure is great to be back in San Diego. Whoo-hoo!

I saw from the name placard magnetized to his dashboard that the guy driving the shuttle van that returned Cat and I to our parked car was named Joey Ventura.

“Dude,” I said, smiling, clearly in Funny Bonding Mode. “You made up that name, right?”

Joey Ventura looked at me, totally confused. Smiling–ready to engage!–but clearly confused.

“Joey Ventura,” I said. “You know. Sounds like you should be the star of Las Vegas.”

Though clearly the nicest guy in the world, Joe had apparently never seen or heard of the NBC TV show, Las Vegas. Which put me in the bit of a conversational logjam.

“I mean, not like you’d be a guy, like, singing in Las Vegas, or anything,” I said, amazed to suddenly find myself sinking Humor Quicksand. How do these situations happen?

I could feel Cat, sitting in the seat behind us, already acting like she didn’t know me.

“You know,” I said. “Joey Ventura. Like … Mr. Las Vegas.” Nowhere. “You know,” I continued blindly. “Like … Ace’s brother.”

Nothing. Wasn’t happening.

Routine rebuffed!

I didn’t care. I tipped Joe five bucks for driving us five minutes.

Cuz he was still Joey Ventura.

South Bend: I love you.

San Diego: Could you have any more stoners?

But I don’t care, man.

We’re home!

Life on my blog (sometimes)
Gay porn as published by Christians fundamentalists (NSFW)
Back to school special: A liberal arts education in 500 words!
10 Tips for Becoming an Amazaballs Husband
About John Shore

I’m in the final stages of finishing a novel. If you’d like to be kept up on what’s happening with that, subscribe to my personal newsletter (which is different from subscribing to my blog—and is how, increasingly, I communicate with my readers). I send out my newsletter using MailChimp (so your email address remains safe and secure); I would never sell your email address or use it for junk mail; unsubscribe with the click of the button. (May 9, 2015)

  • http://360.yahoo.com/skerrib Kerri B.

    Dorothy Gale.

    (I’ve appointed myself your personal useless-trivia guru, apparently.)

  • Tony

    You are a trip. I just never know what to expect when I read your blog, and that’s a good thing. Keep it up and I’ll have to purposely go out and buy all of your books. (maybe even read them….)

  • http://www.johnshorebooks.com johnshore

    Kerri: Cool. I've always wanted a personal useless-trivia guru. I can't even imagine how I've gone this long without one.

    Tony: Thanks for the love. And you don't have to go out and buy all my books. You can do that at home, via Amazon. And you should. Now. Right now. And tell all your friends, family members, and work associates to do the same. Now. Get back to me on how that went.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X