Okay, so to be clear (concerning the assertion in comment #12 on my last post that I “promote” divorce): Claiming to be “for” or “against” divorce is like claiming to be for or against weather. It depends on the weather. In principle, I’m extremely against divorce; I basically hate it, and grieve, whenever I even hear about a divorce. In reality, I certainly understand how divorce is sometimes the neccessary, best option.
I have nothing but sympathy for Amy, as I do for anyone who is suffering. Believe me: With all my heart I’m on Amy’s side.
Also–again, just to be clear–I never advised Amy to just “walk away” from her marriage. That’s just not anything I actually wrote.
Here’s something I did write in the comments section in the original post (it’s comment #11):
“By the way–just for the record and all–I certainly understand the way so many women really are victims of their husbands. And I understand how easy it is for a woman–especially a woman with children–to essentially become trapped in a bad relationship with a man. As I’ve said elsewhere on this blog, my wife works for an organization that basically saves victims of domestic violence. And I’ve worked in shelters for such places myself. I’m very familiar with the whole … universe of domestic violence.
“Women trapped in bad relationships have a whole bunch of stuff they need to do. One of those things is to learn to take responsibility for the role they played in arriving where they’re at. I was just meaning, here, to Amy, to emphasize that particular aspect of her healing challenge. I know it’s not the only thing she needs to do; it’s just the one I chose to emphasize.”
So, there’s …. that stuff I also said.
Anyway, right: Relationships are difficult. I actually think they’re the most challenging and important thing any of us ever do in life. So of course I’m sympathetic to the challenges Amy is facing. Okay? (And I really am a Christian. Promise. [I can’t believe how often it happens that the first thing a Christian says to you if they taken exception to something you’ve said is that you’re not really a Christian. It’s just bizarre. And exceptionally offensive, of course. Which I’m sure is the primary intent in saying something like that. So many people seem like they just live to be angry and fight, yes?])