I Saw

My vision hooked shut

A blaring symphony of cells

Look: separated,

I have again summoned up this scintillating,

antiquated carving knife

its tip clicked off

the stains of sins past now rusting its dull

feathered edge

its handle cracked like nerves thirsting

It is this I use.

It is always this I use

to penetrate my chest

look (don’t) :

I force the knife

which yields softly, which

envelopes the blade like pig putty and blood

Screaming I

push again

my arms live for me now

and they push again

twisting this edge past my mighty

blanched ribs

until the blade

touches of all things

my heart

but I do not stop there

for I am no laggard

I know this process

is about endurance

so

I cut

bleeding

I saw