Operation Birthday Begins!

Saturday, March 21, 2009. 6:21 a.m. Operation John Shore’s Birthday has begun. I’m up. My wife’s still asleep. Loser. But I’ll let her sleep, cuz she’s so cute when she’s innocently dreaming about a beautiful world where she doesn’t have to get up and give me a haircut because we’re going out in public today [Read More...]

Tommorow’s My Birthday! I’m Still Not Dead!

My birthday’s tommorow. Why, I can remember being born just like it was 18,615 days ago. While my fellow newborns were lying all about me, mewing and scrinching up their little baby fists, I was busy scheming revenge on the clown in the surgical mask who, when apparently no one else was looking, got his [Read More...]

Women in Abusive Relationships: Wave Goodbye to Your Parents

(Update: All the posts of this series have been collected into one piece, Seven Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Relationships, and How to Defeat Each One of Them.) Last time we talked about … well, snarky rhyming leprechauns, actually. But pursuant to my series 7 Reasons Women Stay in Bad Relationships (and just before Christian [Read More...]

Threatening Leprechauns Respond!

This piece has been moved here. Sorry for the inconvenience. [Read more...]

Christian Leaders: For God’s Sake, Stop Empowering Wife Abusers

Pastors, church, and ministry leaders: Please refrain from ever using the Bible as a means of keeping women in physically or emotionally abusive relationships. If you believe in hell—that working in direct opposition to the will of God means spending eternity roasting alive—then, on behalf of the abused women who’ve written me in response to [Read More...]

Women in Abusive Relationships: Like Everyone Else, You’re Guilty of Love

(Update: All the posts of this series have been collected into one piece, Seven Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Relationships, and How to Defeat Each One of Them.) In Women in Abusive Relationships: The Good Daughter Syndrome, we nailed down two ideas: that spiritual health without psychological health is like a gym without exercise equipment, [Read More...]

Doing Christianity vs. Being Christian

Sometimes I think that in our efforts to be all that we can be when it comes to Christ, we make Him entirely too complicated. As a means of proving that he loves and cares for us, God became a man, absorbed into himself the full cost of every wrong we and any other human [Read More...]

Women in Abusive Relationships: The Good Daughter Syndrome

(Update: All the posts of this series have been collected into one piece, Seven Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Relationships, and How to Defeat Each One of Them.) Over lunch I once told a pastor of mine that I had started seeing a psychotherapist. Pastor Mike stopped his tuna sandwich halfway in the air toward [Read More...]

Famous Argentinian Painter Whose Painting I Brought at a Thrift Store E-Mails Me

A while back I posted a piece about a superb painting that I bought at a thrift store. Alejandro Debonis, who painted that picture, just wrote me! “Hi John! [he wrote] I’m the artist who painted the picture you wrote about. I really appreciate your comments about the picture, and would love to know when, [Read More...]

My Body and My Brain: At It Once Again

Brain: Wake up! It’s morning! Time to arise! Body: I hate you. And I’m sleeping. Go away. Brain: No can do, Sludge Boy. Time to get up! Body: No, it’s not time to get up. It’s time for you to muffle yourself. Brain: You know I’ll win this. You know it’s time for you to [Read More...]


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