My son is 17, gay, and miserable

alone

 

Dear John,

Over the past couple of years, I often wondered if my son was gay. But usually I was able to explain it away or otherwise put it out of my mind. This past February, however, there simply was no denying it any longer, and I confronted him about it. He was instantly terrified and thought for sure that his father and I would kick him out of the house and disown him. Nothing could have been further from the truth. While not the path I ever saw one of my kids traveling or me trying to negotiate as a parent, he is still my son and I LOVE HIM. I refuse to “lose” him because of his orientation.

While that might sound like a normal healthy response, it was very unexpected for our son, because of the environment in which he has been raised. Since kindergarten he has attended a fundamentalist-based, deeply legalistic Christian school. 75% of our friends, family and acquaintances are fundamentalists. He has been taught that gay people go to hell, and that there is no hope for anything different.

He has told me many times that he doesn’t want to be gay, and that he has prayed every night for years that God would allow him to be “normal.” He’s shut down all of his emotions. He’s starting to experiment with drugs and alcohol to dull the emptiness inside. He’s crying out for help. I’m trying to be there for him, but he keeps pushing me away like he has done for years. He has been doing some counseling and is willing to do more. We’ve tried an anti-depressant, but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. His ability to lie to me/us is a constant issue, and he readily admits that he feels absolutely no remorse when he does lie. He’s become somewhat overweight and just eats junk and drinks too much soda and expensive coffee drinks. (Manifestation of self-hatred?)

I stumbled across your site yesterday and wondered if it was an answer to prayer. He’s “out” to close friends, but no one else. I don’t believe he is suicidal, but I want him to be happy, healthy and wise. I don’t know how to help him. Even though I refuse to “lose” my son because he is gay, I feel like I might be losing him anyway… .

Anything you could offer would be so appreciated.

Your son is going through one of the most difficult things anyone could—something that no one should ever have to live through. He believes that he is evil, perverted, a shame to God. He believes that the world is worse off for his presence in it.

That he has been taught to feel that way about himself is a wrong on the order of genocide, murder, and rape. Every person is born with the instinct that they belong, a natural, innate trust that their very existence is proven valuable and justified by the simple, wondrous, and undeniable truth that they do, in fact, exist. Woven into the human DNA is this organic, intrinsic delight in simply being alive, this intuition that if we are, then we are good. All children and most adults possess this irreducible joy of being.

That joy in your son was systematically and methodically decimated by a twisted, ruinous, pig-ignorant “theology” unworthy of the word. Christian fundamentalism is a factory whose primary product is fear, hatred, and self-loathing. (See The Fundamentally Toxic Christianity.)

I know that this might seem harsh, or unduly challenging, but if you want to save your son, then you and your husband must renounce the theology in which you inculcated him. You have to sit him down, and, rather than confront him about it, tell him that his being gay has compelled you to realize that the Christianity in which you raised him is incompatible with the loving nature of God, and no longer has any place whatsoever in your hearts and minds. And then you need to apologize to him like you’ve never apologized in your life.

If you say that you love him, but then stay where you are within Christian fundamentalism, the message you will necessarily be sending your son is, “We love you, despite the fact that you are perversely defective.” That’s a confusing and toxic message. The message he needs to hear from you is, “We love you, and understand that being gay isn’t a sin.” And the only way to send him that message is to separate yourself from the belief system and practice which holds that being gay is a sin. (He will also benefit from hearing this same positive message at the Not All Like That Christians Project website. I also recommend that you and your husband visit the nearest chapter of PFLAG [Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays]).

I don’t get a lot of questions to which the answer is simple, but this one is. Reject Christian fundamentalism, or know that by failing to do so, you are very clearly communicating to your son that his very existence is anathema to God, to nature, and to everything good.

Start with your complete and utter renunciation of the Christianity in which you raised your son, and he has a chance at happiness. Don’t, and please let me know, so that we can pray for the boy.
 
If you like commenting here on Patheos, awesome. If you’d like to comment on this post in a place that you might find less volatile and/or distracting, you’re invited to do so on my recently revised blogsite, JohnShore.com.

UPDATE: If you’re wondering why I’ve shut down comments on this post–and why I finally moved my blog back to JohnShore.com–peruse the comments to this post below.

"Hey I just came across this article and comments. I just want to say you ..."

Christians in love with non-Christians (and ..."
"My daughter was molested by her paternal grandfather when she was 3 1/2 or that's ..."

Six Things to Know About Sexual ..."
"No, gentlemen, you may very well be 'illogical' in your thinking. The actual followers are ..."

Why atheists win arguments with Christians ..."
"As a desperate guy who recently separated from his Girlfriend, I have seen a lot ..."

10 Steps to Winning Back Your ..."

Browse Our Archives



What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Curtis Martin

    I think it’s important for this family to start exploring a positive Christian alternative right away. Now, if the family is fundie, they will probably get the “not a real church/Christian” treatment, but that’s a whole lot better than the treatment the son is getting now. These folks might very well be unaware of the welcoming churches in their area. ELCA, UCC, the Episcopal Church and many Untied Methodist and some Presbyterians as well. Look for terms like “Open and Affirming”, Reconciling or More Light.
    Don’t just throw everything away.

  • Russell Mark

    Let’s also not forget there are progressive Baptist churches…no, that’s not an oxymoron. The Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists (AWAB), as well as the Alliance of Baptists can be extremely helpful in finding resources and churches.

  • Curtis Martin

    Hear! Hear! We have a large American Baptist church in my town that is very gay friendly.

  • Todd Parker

    Yea…..a church is of no use, if GOD isnt there.
    Its called Spinning Your Wheels.

  • http://www.whoaisnotme.net/anakinmcfly Anakin McFly

    What makes you think that God isn’t there? Do you have a magical God-detector that you carry to churches around the world and take readings with?

    P.S. “it’s”, not “its”

  • Todd Parker

    Yes I do, and yes I can tell if they are worshiping the True and Living God.
    Its called ( Spiritual Discernment ) KNOWING THEM BY THEIR FRUIT.

  • Mark Hoines

    Unfortunately, as social-scientific research has long demonstrated, the fruits of fundamentalism are too often rotten. That Christian fundamentalism persists in the US on the scale that it does, in spite of more than a century of biblical criticism and advances in science, is testimony to the failures of our educational systems.

  • One Truth

    “Unfortunately, as social-scientific research has long demonstrated”

    Yes, Lets ask the humanistic/ anti Christian majority for their opinion. Because to the follower of Jesus Christ, That matters……

    “That Christian fundamentalism persists in the US on the scale that it does, in spite of more than a century of biblical criticism and advances in science”

    Again, Humanistic criticism and bias scientific rhetoric, based on theories and stretched truths mean nothing to the Spirit Filled, Follower of Jesus Christ, who is the ONLY TRUTH.

    We {Christians} are still waiting for the nay-sayers to debunk Gods Word. And still….To the futile efforts of the non believer, Gods Word Stands Strong. Archaeological Evidence still continues to pour in, despite the negative scrutiny, and still, the unbeliever fights God to his last breath.

    And so….Many Biblical prophecies, concerning those who will continue to deny their Creator, are still coming to pass.

  • Lookingup73

    What a great response. A very tough one but definitely spot on. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school. While my parents were quite liberal, much of what I was taught really stuck. We are impressionable as kids and can often take to religion differently than our parents do. I don’t blame them for sending me there. They didn’t know I would take years of therapy to get over the harm the religion caused! I would only caution the parents to find a church that does not believe the bible is the word of god. otherwise, they are just switching to a different form of the same thing. Probably the best and safest bet is a UU church.

  • Curtis Martin

    UU would be WAY, WAY shocking. There are a lot of churches that take the Bible seriously, but not literally. UU from Fundamentalist is just, like, wow. I did UCC (the joke is that we’re Unitarians Considering Christ) from Fundamentalist so the framework of Christianity is still there (along with gay people, including pastors). It will help the family if the story doesn’t change too much, but does become more inclusive.

  • Lookingup73

    I agree that would be a shock. Perhaps they will get there eventually but will initially still need some of the same framework.

  • Todd Parker

    Ummm, Why bother wasting your time in ANY so called church if you don’t believe in God and His Word?

    You people make no sense.

    This is Humanism at its finest.

  • http://www.whoaisnotme.net/anakinmcfly Anakin McFly

    Why do you?

    P.S. – Contrary to popular opinion, God’s Word is Jesus, not the Bible. The word translated as ‘word’ was actually ‘logos’. It wasn’t meant to refer to a book/books, all the more since the Bible in its current form didn’t exist until way after Jesus’ death and resurrection.

  • Curtis Martin

    Amen!
    There is no greater threat to Christianity than Biblicism – the Idolization of The Bible.

  • Paul Julian Gould

    Properly called Bibliolatry… It’s invariably shown by slavish clobber-texting of certain verses (always from specific English translations of translations of translations, and the center-column commentary by like-minded authoritarians) that, rather than the “Holy Spirit,” have been carefully taught by preachers, authors and some parents and based in an ridiculous “theology” more informed by LaHaye, MacArthur, Peretti, or various televangelists.

    Folks such as our truly-convinced friend further upthread never get it that “there is a way that seems right to a man, but ends in death” doesn’t necessarily refer to behavioral aspects of people and straw-men they don’t like… It really can apply to the angry, frightened darkness within themselves that it’s easier to ignore if other peoples’ sins, or rather behavioral and personality traits they view as sins, are focused on. Lot less painful and frightening focusing outward rather than inward with a seeking spirit.

    I’d offer to our friend upthread…. Honestly and sincerely meditate on what the worst result possible that you’ve got it all wrong…. Can you honestly ask “Hey, what if I’ve had this whole thing all wrong?” If you can at least ask the question, the internal tightening of the belly and the terror in the mind will show you your own fruits which everyone else has come to know you by.

  • Jeff Preuss

    “It’s invariably shown by slavish clobber-texting of certain verses”
    And lots of caps lock.

  • Paul Julian Gould

    As well as application of 20th and 21st century definitions of 17th century English usage… and again, as translations of translations of translations…

    But, of course, it’s all plain, clear, and the book as it’s currently used by the strident, binary-thinking Evangelicals, a seamless whole of a book with no nuance or ambiguity permitted.

    If they were honest with themselves, they’d realize that they are fearful little souls who get their boxes ready-made by the authoritarian preachers and authors who tell them what to think and how to interpret, with the added benefit of convincing them it’s the clear leading of the supposed voice of God.

  • Paul Julian Gould

    BTW… Good Morning, Jeff! Good to see you, my friend.

  • Clay Watson

    Then let’s look at Jesus. He sure talked a lot about sin, the judgement of God, and hell too. When the woman caught in adultery was put before him, he did not condemn her, but neither did he condone her behavior. His parting words to her were “go and SIN NO MORE.” This should put to rest any argument that Jesus did not recognize sexual sin. Homosexuality as a topic is unaddressed is the gospels, but so is beastiality, polygamy, and many other sins that enlightened people dispute as such.

  • http://www.whoaisnotme.net/anakinmcfly Anakin McFly

    Sure, but that all hinges on the assumption that homosexuality is sexual sin, which is what we’re disputing here.

    All those things you list cause harm to people or animals. Homosexuality does not, any more than heterosexuality. (Although both can be used in abusive, sinful ways, such as rape.)

    Please explain what harm is done to anyone when two gay people fall in love and decide to spend the rest of their life together, vs each living out their lives single and celibate?

    In short, explain why homosexuality is a sin. (“The Bible says so” isn’t an answer – we can explain why sins like adultery, thievery and murder are sins without using the Bible. Can you do the same with homosexuality?)

  • Todd Parker

    ITS an Abomination before a HOLY GOD! Thats why.

    Its completely unnatural, Like having sex with animals, as some do. And even with your degraded mind, You Know This.

  • Lookingup73

    That is the problem for a gay supporting family. They will choose a different church that is more welcoming. That church will still base their behaviors on biblical teachings. Their behavior will be fine -logging, supportive, etc, but will still be rooted in biblical teachings (“Jesus did such and such and so should we”). How confusing for a gay kid. He will realize that by attending the progressive church the family is implicitly affirming all the anti gay teachings of the former church. It is like painting over rust. The rust is still there….

  • Todd Parker

    So then, Why did Jesus say to the adulterous woman and to the man who had been sick for 38 years,

    ” Stop sinning, or something WORSE may happen to you.”

    Exactly what sins would YOU like to pluck out of Gods Word and bring forth, and proclaim that THESE are the sins that Jesus went to the cross for, And THESE are the sins in which Jesus said repent and turn from?

    Just curious.

  • Lookingup73

    I think you are talking to the wrong person. I never said anything about plucking sins out of the bible. I think this family is doing their kid a disservice by attending any church. For exactly the reasons you probably believe – the Bible can be used to support all sorts of condemnation and hatred. If one believes the positive messages of the Bible, and thinks Jesus only preached love, one has to leave room for those who (often correctly) point out the negative messages in the bible and believe that Jesus was less loving and accepting.

  • Lookingup73

    Of course, being an ethical person, I regard the “sins” that harm other people as more egregious. Someone who has sex with someone else who is consenting harms no one in real life. “Sins” of charity are awful in my mind. they have a real impact.

  • Lookingup73

    Without the bible stories there is no Jesus, so the bible does form the basis. Yes, the New Testament didn’t exist until after Jesus died but it all got put together in order to justify this cult that grew about after he died. Kind of like how we know about Zeus and the like from texts like the metamorphoses. Without the text he doesn’t really exist. (Well, maybe some think the Greek gods do exist. Actually, if Jesus does, so do they I suppose).

  • Todd Parker

    The Bible is Gods Word. Just who do you think the author of all those writings are?

    Here, I will help you…..2 Peter 1:19-21.

  • tonycutty

    Christianity is an ancient, huge and broad faith. To insist that any one ‘version’ of it is the only correct interpretation of the Bible is pure fallacy. And it’s one of the things that the unbeliever finds so ludicrous when looking in from ‘outside’.

    God is so much bigger than the parochial view of any one person, group or denomination. The first step to humility is in knowing that we don’t have it all correct. You simply can’t put God in a box and say ‘Right, that’s Him all sewn up and sorted’. And it’s the same with doctrine – which is why looking to the Word – Jesus – is the best way to get a handle on any of it. He came to make God more accessible – not just with regard to being ‘allowed’ into God’s Presence, but also to show that ‘correct doctrine’ is not the answer.

  • Todd Parker

    “Christianity is an ancient, huge and broad faith.”

    No…..Satan has hoed a broad path of worldy religions, some quite similar to True Christianity, yet far from it, only to be disguised as truth.

    As Jesus said…”Wide is the path that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter it.”

    John 10:10…”The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”

  • Lookingup73

    Well, you have a point. I believe ultimately that is where one winds up after questioning everything. For instance, once you start questioning the biblical teachings you realize that not much weight should be given to any of it. Once you get to that point church is really a social club on Sundays. Some folks keep it because of the tradition, some people realize it is not worth the time.
    In the case of this family, they might have quite a hard time leaving “church” cold turkey!!!

  • tonycutty

    Please can you tell me what the letters ‘UU’ mean? Thanks :)

  • Lookingup73

    Universalist Unitarian. Sorry!

  • tonycutty

    No problem – thanks for that! :)

  • Clay Watson

    How do you reconcile “being gay isn’t a sin” with everything the Bible -including the Christian New Testament- clearly states to the contrary?

  • Curtis Martin

    Actually, that’s a great question and there are many, many ways to answer it. If you want to stay Evangelical, you can try reading God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines and or Changing Our Mind by David Gushee. If you’re willing to leave Evangelicalism and Biblical Inerrancy behind (like many Evangelicals are doing) and head for the Mainline Protestant Denominations, then there are many, many books on the topic that will answer this question. One of ’em is Unfair: Christians and the LGBT Question by some guy named John Shore.
    Or, you can believe that God made a mistake with this young 17 year old and tell him to just pray harder. I would suggest putting some money away at the funeral home for a nice service because that’s a very likely place for an LBGT Teen who’s told to pray harder or face life alone because God has called him to celibacy.

  • Todd Parker

    “Or, you can believe that God made a mistake with this young 17 year old
    and tell him to just pray harder. I would suggest putting some money
    away at the funeral home for a nice service because that’s a very likely
    place for an LBGT Teen who’s told to pray harder or face life alone
    because God has called him to celibacy.”

    So Curtis, You have NO faith in God? Why waste your time?

    What poor excuse of a god do you worship, if he has no power?

  • http://www.whoaisnotme.net/anakinmcfly Anakin McFly

    Power to do what? To revise his own creation because you demand it? If God wanted to make a gay person, as He sometimes evidently does, who are you to tell God to turn him straight instead?

  • Todd Parker

    “Power to do what? To revise his own creation because you demand it? If God wanted to make a gay person, as He sometimes evidently does, who are you to tell God to turn him straight instead?”

    I would love to see the source of reference from where you are pulling this garbage. It certainly is not Gods Word.

    And your problem is Not with me, but with God Himself, and His Holiness.

  • Curtis Martin

    I do have faith in God. I believe that God made this young man just the way he is. His Sexuality is not a curse, but a gift. I do not believe in a God that creates people and then dooms them to celibacy or hell. Sorry, but that just makes no sense. In fact, I’ll go a bit further than that – If God is creating Gay people and then commanding them to either be celibate or face eternal damnation, then I really don’t want anything to do with that God – real or not.
    There is no such thing as Gay Conversion Therapy and no, this young man is not going to pray the gay away. Instead, with the support of his family and a faith community, he can heal and come to see himself as the wonderful child of God he was created to be.
    The only way that the Fundamentalist Christian approach to Homosexuality can make sense if God is either Cruel or mistake prone. I’m not about to go with either one of those. So I guess it’s the Fundamentalist Christian Position that is either cruel or a mistake.

  • Clay Watson

    I don’t know whow some people have unnatural tendencies, but my question has not been answered.

  • Curtis Martin

    If you’re BORN with tendencies, then they can’t be unnatural. As to the verse by verse answer, the short version is the Biblical writers weren’t talking about homosexuality as we understand it. The long answer is that there are at least 50 books on the subject of reconciling loving Gay relationships with the Bible.

  • Todd Parker

    “As to the verse by verse answer, the short version is the Biblical
    writers weren’t talking about homosexuality as we understand it”

    Thanks for cracking the code.

    “The long answer is that there are at least 50 books on the subject of reconciling loving Gay relationships with the Bible.”

    Anyone can write ( a book ). Gods Word Will Stand.

  • otrame

    How can you reconcile “God hates fags” with everything Jesus said. You know. The Son of God, who said he only had 2 rules. Love God, love everyone else too.

    And if you claim that calling gays perverts and/or insisting that they must remain celibate their whole lives or go to hell is “loving” then on judgement day I have a feeling you are going to end up on the left side because Jesus probably won’t like you treating him like that any more than any one else does, and what you do to others you are doing to Jesus (Matt. 35:41-46).

  • Todd Parker

    “The Son of God, who said he only had 2 rules. Love God, love
    everyone else too.”

    Did you get that from wikipedia? Do you not have a bible?

    Jesus did not say He only had two rules. You are misquoting Matthew 22:35-40. Jesus was asked “What is the greatest commandment.

    “How can you reconcile “God hates fags” .”

    God does not personalize a sin and call people by it individually. God loves that person. Jesus Christ went to the cross for that person. God simply declares to us, Accept Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins, and stop living in sin. That’s it.

    And Homosexuality is sin. Its NOT natural and God did not create us to disgrace ourselves and each other in this way.

    In Gods eyes, its not any different than Murder, Adultery, Idol Worship, Fornication, Drunkeness etc.etc. Its sin before a Holy God. Hence the term: Repent.

  • http://www.whoaisnotme.net/anakinmcfly Anakin McFly

    There is nothing disgraceful about a responsible romantic/sexual relationship built on selfless, unconditional mutual love and respect just because both people involved happen to be of the same gender.

    Those things you list hurt people. That’s what sin is. Homosexuality is as morally neutral as heterosexuality – it can be expressed in both loving and abusive ways, in ways that please God and ways that don’t.

  • Todd Parker

    “There is nothing disgraceful about a responsible romantic/sexual
    relationship built on selfless, unconditional mutual love and respect
    just because both people involved happen to be of the same gender.”

    Again….Your word is not above Gods Word, as you will find out.

  • lizzysimplymagic

    Right back at ya!

  • Todd Parker

    ?????

  • otrame

    Well, since you are so sure you see with God’s eyes, there is not much more to be said.

  • Clay Watson

    You’re putting words in my mouth, which is a “straw man argument.” One thing that is beyond intelligent dispute is that the English Bible has been both well bequeathed, and we’ll translated. And to say that homosexuality is solely a contemporary phenomenon is utter nonsense. My question remains.

  • Todd Parker

    Clay, this is what you call the Emergent Church Movement…..Totally Lost.

    Seems Gods Original Word isnt good enough anymore.

  • http://www.whoaisnotme.net/anakinmcfly Anakin McFly

    Because it doesn’t. It couldn’t, given that the word and concept of homosexuality didn’t even exist until the 19th century, and the word ‘homosexuality’ did not exist in a single Bible until the 1950s.

  • Clay Watson

    Suggesting that homosexuality is “new” is nonsense.

  • http://www.whoaisnotme.net/anakinmcfly Anakin McFly

    Of course it’s not new. But it’s also nonsensical to suggest that people in Biblical times knew what sexual orientation was, given that people a couple hundred years ago still hadn’t figured it out. To Paul and others of that time, gay people were just straight people going against their nature because of perverted sexual reasons. They had no concept of people who were naturally sexually oriented to the same sex and for whom heterosexual relations would be a perversion of their nature.

  • Clay Watson

    I see.

  • Todd Parker

    “They had no concept of people who were (naturally) sexually oriented to
    the same sex and for whom heterosexual relations would be a (perversion)
    of their nature.”

    That’s quite the foolish copout, And you will soon find out that God is not in agreement with such foolishness.

    It wont be long before people are using this same excuse for molesting small children and having sex with animals, and people like YOU will of course feel sorry for them and give hearty approval in the name of Compassion of Humanity………Mans word over GODS.

    Romans chapter 1. Read It!

  • Jeff Preuss

    Okay, you’ve decided to link homosexuality to pedophilia and bestiality. You’re an ass, and you’ve been flagged. There is no reasonable discussion with you.

  • Todd Parker

    Why, Because you disagree me me, I’m unreasonable and you FLAG me? Is that not intolerance in which you so boldly speak against, in the name of HUMANISM. Do the words I speak, pierce your conscience, warranting for you to FLAG me.

    Jeff, you can FLAG me, but you CANNOT FLAG Gods Word which speaks to your heart. No matter how hard you try……….

  • Todd Parker

    “But it’s also nonsensical to suggest that people in Biblical times knew what sexual orientation was”

    That statement is made out of just plain ignorance…..
    Have you not read the Laws God gave Moses to give to the people?

    Leviticus 18:22-26, 20:13………..

  • Todd Parker

    “I know that this might seem harsh, or unduly challenging, but if you
    want to save your son, then you and your husband must renounce the
    theology in which you inculcated him.”

    No John…..They simply need to Keep trusting God and pray for their son.

    Satan’s temporary grip is no match for the Hand of God Almighty. Especially when faithful prayers come in from His children.

    If you want to go to Hell, go it alone. No need to drag children that you act like you love, down with you.

  • http://www.whoaisnotme.net/anakinmcfly Anakin McFly

    “They simply need to Keep trusting God and pray for their son.”

    Why can’t they do that *and* love and accept their son as the gay man God made him to be? I see nothing in John’s post that suggests they stop trusting God or stop praying for their son.

  • Todd Parker

    “but if you want to save your son, then you and your husband must renounce the THEOLOGY in which you inculcated him.”

    “tell him that his being gay has compelled you to realize that the CHRISTIANITY in which you raised him is incompatible with the loving nature of God, and no longer has any place whatsoever in your hearts and minds.”

    Anakin, did you not read the article?

    And God did NOT make him gay, any more than He made Ted Bundy a murderer.

    Either know and proclaim the Truth of Gods word and what He says through it, or STOP proclaiming His name like you know Him.

  • Dorfl

    They simply need to Keep trusting God and pray for their son.

    This approach consistently fails to work. Why should they do something that will not work?

  • Todd Parker

    How do you know? How do you know its not only to those with faithless and unbelieving hearts, that their prayers are not heard?

    Those like YOU, who worship themselves and others, above God.

  • Jeff Preuss

    I know, because I have ALWAYS had a faithful and steadfastly believing heart. And in the 30+ years since realizing I was gay at puberty, God has not seen fit to make me heterosexual. He answered prayers, just not in the way I was expecting, and not in the way YOU command. (And it is YOU who command this, not Him.)

    I do not worship myself.
    I do not worship others.
    I worship God.

    That you cannot perceive of a valid Christian faith in which gay people remain gay is not my failing. It is yours.

  • Todd Parker

    No Sir, Not my command. The command of God Himself.

    In YOUR Faithlessness, You have said it right here, “God has not seen fit.”

    “valid Christian faith in which gay people remain gay”

    He would heal you, if you truly loved Him and were sorry for the sin of homosexuality, But since you have not repented, and justify on your own that it is O.K. and “Valid”, Then who is a loving God, to Force you to see otherwise?

    He wont, but you must, if you truly want to be healed.

    Jesus Loves You Jeff, But He wants to Heal you and Sanctify you. Just as Christ cleansed me, and ALL other True Christians who have had to, and are still undergoing Sanctification from our sinfulness, so must you as well.

    Its not a bad thing to fully submit to God Jeff. But its just that, Denying yourself and submitting to Christ for the forgiveness of sins.

  • Jeff Preuss

    Yeah, Todd, I don’t care to see your response. Your words and actions are not of Christ, and you don’t contribute anything positive to the growth of the Body of Christ, so I’ve placed a killfile on you. So I won’t see your misplaced anger and fear any longer.

    Have a great day.

  • Todd Parker

    Again, these commands are from Gods Word, therefore not my commands, but Gods.

  • tonycutty

    The lady who wrote to you may also like to look at the FreedHearts blog, which is specifically there to help parents in this position. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/freedhearts/