Got this letter in. My response is below it.
I am a 20-year-old college female student. I teach sex education to middle and high school students, and am all-around sex positive. I am struggling, though, with being a Christian and an advocate for sexuality. My dream job is to be a sex therapist, but I feel like this focus on sex makes me a bad Christian. A Christian conference that I just attended has left me feeling like I can’t have my passion for sexuality and still be a “good” follower of Christ.
I feel lost and guilt ridden. Any advice you might have for me would be much appreciated.
Thank you and God bless you for all your amazing work with the LGBT community.
“Christian sex therapist” is no more an oxymoron than is “Christian dentist,” “Christian accountant,” or “Christian
If you came away from a Christian conference feeling like you can’t be a both a sex therapist and a Christian, then you can be sure of one thing: you went to the wrong Christian conference.
That you came away from it feeling as you did is proof that the conference you attended was organized by Christian leaders with a vested interest in keeping you feeling as guilty and fearful as possible. And why (despite whatever they might say to the contrary) would such leaders want you feeling that way ? Because a guilt and fear-ridden person is a desperate person. And a desperate person will pay good money to be unburdened of their guilt and fear.
Welcome to the engine that has always driven Christianity to places it should never be.
The Christian conference you should have gone to would offer such classes as, Sex: How Does Anyone Ever Do Anything Else? and Sex: Beats Clicking Through Netflix, and Sex: If It’s So Wrong, Then Why’d Your Parents Do It?See, now, that’s a Christian conference even I would go. And I wouldn’t go to a typical Christian conference if it were being held in my living room. Which it wouldn’t be. Because I’d burn my house down first.
The point is: if there’s one thing the world generally and Christianity in particular needs, it’s a decent sex therapist. Learning to navigate the raging rapids of their sexuality without constantly flying overboard is a life-long challenge for any person—and especially for anyone who was brought up to believe that God is infuriated by their failure to unflaggingly pretend that they do not possess genitals.
So much of what so many Christians are taught is sex-negative. A Christian sex therapist—someone who can combine the best of Christian spirituality with a healthy approach to sexuality—would be a real boon to the world.
Sex therapists heal people.
What could be more Christian than that?
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