Back to school special: A liberal arts education in 500 words!


Don’t forget me later, when you’ve landed an awesome job because of your sweet, sweet education. [Read more...]

10 Tips for Becoming an Amazaballs Husband


Hey, you don’t stay married for 35 years without learning a thing or two … [Read more...]

Life on my blog (sometimes)


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Gay porn as published by Christians fundamentalists (NSFW)

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I was idly browsing the Books section of my local Craigslist site when I came across the books below. I could be wrong about this, but I believe they serve as evidence that at some point along the line Christian fundamentalists decided to operate from within the ranks of their enemy by writing and publishing [Read More...]

The 10 best arguments for Donald Sterling keeping the LA Clippers

Want to defend the right of Donald Sterling to own the LA Clippers? Here are your talking points. [Read more...]

10 life lessons Jack Bauer taught me


If you haven’t watched “24,” you don’t know Jack about life. [Read more...]

Proof that Jesus was hilarious

Portrait of a mature business woman smiling. White background.

People quite regularly ask me if I think Jesus had a sense of humor. “Does the Pope make it difficult to make fun of the Pope anymore?” I’ve been answering lately. Stupid new Pope, with his stupid awesome goodness. Anyway, of course Jesus was funny. In the Bible he’s being extremely funny all the time—and [Read More...]

A New-Age translation of The Lord’s Prayer


(Written on a whim after attending a thoroughly engaging interfaith council meeting.) Our genderless spirit counselor, who art in everything, honored be thy many names. Thy new age come, thy will be manifested, on this and on all cosmic planes. Break with us our daily gluten-free unleavened bread, and forgive us our bad karma, as [Read More...]

“I have had it with these !!#!@&*!! snakes in this !!#!@&*!! glen!”


But, as he grew older, Pat found himself increasingly distressed by the fact that his beloved home glen, known to the local townsfolk as Gakearnei Egrhhe o Kieaierainieau Blagraiehor o’er Lehkrkhaerneyai nee’ O’Ianietraneourenlochnegear by the Bay … [Read more...]

A new sexual alphabet


You’ve heard of LGBTTQQIIAA. Now meet the rest of the alphabet. [Read more...]