People of the Shrug: Spoiled 2-Year Olds in Adult Bodies

People of the Shrug are profoundly emotionally spoiled. They’re two-year-olds in adult bodies. Here are four reasons being that way works for them–and will never, ever work for you. [Read more...]

Wondering If He’s Mr. Right? Then He’s Not.

  Wondering whether or not someone is Mr. Right means he’s not. It really is exactly that simple. When you’ve met or gotten to know Mr. Right, he’ll be so Mr. Exactly  Right that you’ll know it like a lightening bolt to your chest. You’ll no sooner be able to wonder whether or not he’s Mr. Right then [Read More...]

God Doesn’t Care If You’re Married or Not

It’s fun to write about being married or single—because that’s about relationships, and that’s about Intense Human Interaction, and what’s more dependably interesting than that? And so I’ve enjoyed writing (and wading through the many, often emotionally intense responses to) You! Get Married! Now!; Looking for Mr. Right? You’re Missing the Point, Missy; Six Tests to Determine [Read More...]

You! Get Married! Now!

A lot of people took my recent post, Looking For Mr. Right? You’re Missing the Point, Missy, to mean that I’m anti-marriage. But I am most definitely pro-marriage. I’ve been happily married for 27 years. Me being anti-marriage is like Pavarotti being anti-singing. It just wouldn’t make sense. I think everyone should get married. But I also [Read More...]

Stop Wasting Time Looking for Mr. Right

Single women (in the 27 to 40-year-old zone, mainly) have lately been asking me what generally boils down to this: “What do guys want? I’m a pretty, intelligent, good-hearted woman who has a lot to offer any man. But all the men I meet invariably end up having some sort of congenital aversion to commitment—to [Read More...]

Perpetually unhappy? Consider rejecting your parents.

Unhappy? Then do yourself a favor, and consider the possibility that you had truly crappy parents. Maybe it’s NOT you. [Read more...]

How To Earn Respect and Power, Kids

Yesterday, at Jamul Intermediate School, in Jamul, California, I spoke to fourth and fifth graders about writing. If you are one of those kids: Hi, kid! Thanks for having me out at your school yesterday! Not that you had a choice! Still, you were very polite, and laughed at all my jokes, and asked intelligent, fun questions, [Read More...]

Adam and Eve: The Day After

The post you are looking for is included in HA!, a full-sized collection of five years worth of my best humor. If you are a Kindle owner and a member of Amazon Prime, you can borrow HA! for free, with no due dates. (If you don’t own a Kindle, here’s where to get one. To [Read More...]

How To Win Every Argument With Your Wife

Wives: Please don’t read this. There’s nothing here for you to learn. Thank you very much. Husbands: As you know, arguing is a big part of being married. The main thing about an argument with your wife is that you never want to lose one. Losing an argument makes you look stupid. Besides, would you have [Read More...]

Surprise (Or Not)! Men Are Spoiled!

Lately I’ve had reason to understand (via Six Tests to Determine If He’s Mr. Right and To Single Women: Men. Don’t. Change) that women find men as mysterious as I know men find women. That this is true comes as a bit of surprise to me. I always thought that trying to figure out a man was [Read More...]