Feel Already Full

Is there enough? The Practice: Feel already full. Why? One slice of the pie of life feels relaxed and contented. And then there is that other slice, in which we feel driven and stressed. Trying to get pleasures, avoid pains, pile up accomplishments and recognitions, be loved by more people. Lose more weight, try to […] [Read more…]

Trust In Love

Do you believe in love? The Practice: Trust in love. Why? Take a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen offered freely by trees and other green growing things. You can’t see air, but it’s always ava… [Read more…]

Lean Into Good On First Waking

What do you think about whn you first wake up? The Practice: Lean into good on first waking. Why? Waking up is like the sun rising. At first it’s mostly dark, as glimmers of consciousness begin to light the shadows. Emerging into full wakefulness… [Read more…]

See Deep Wants

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, what’re the deepest wants of all? The Practice: See deep wants. Why? I did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic … [Read more…]

See Good Intentions

What do others want? The Practice: See good intentions. Why? Hustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop’s refrigerator, a man was bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he’d put … [Read more…]

See Progress

Are some things getting better? The Practice: See progress. Why? There are always things that are getting worse. For example, over the past year, you probably know someone who has become unemployed or ill or both, and there’s more carbon in the a… [Read more…]

See Your Part

What’s your own role? The Practice: See your part. Why? In situations or relationships with any kind of difficulty – tension, feeling hurt, conflicts, mismatches of wants . . . the usual crud – it’s natural to focus on what othe… [Read more…]

Speak Wisely

What are you saying? The Practice: Speak wisely. Why? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Ah, not really. Often it’s words – and the tone that comes with them – that actually do the most damage. Just think back on some of the things that have been said […] [Read more…]

Drop The “Shoulds”

Is it really true? The Practice: “Drop the “shoulds.” Why? One time I watched a three-year-old at her birthday party. Her friends were there from preschool, and she received lots of presents. The cake came out, she admired the pink frosting rose at its center, and everyone sang. One of the moms cut pieces and […] [Read more…]

Hold Wants Lightly

What do you want? The Practice: Hold wants lightly. Why? Getting caught up in wanting – wanting both to get what’s pleasant and to avoid what’s unpleasant – is a major source of suffering and harm for oneself and others. First, a lot of what we want to get comes with a big price tag […] [Read more…]