What do you think about whn you first wake up? The Practice: Lean into good on first waking. Why? Waking up is like the sun rising. At first it’s mostly dark, as glimmers of consciousness begin to light the shadows. Emerging into full wakefulness…
See Deep Wants
October 27, 2012 By
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, what’re the deepest wants of all? The Practice: See deep wants. Why? I did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic …
Don’t Rain On The Parade
October 24, 2012 By
Why do we have cheerleaders? The Practice: Don’t rain on the parade. Why? Let’s say you’ve had an interesting idea or moment of inspiration, or thought of a new project, or felt some enthusiasm bubbling up inside you. Your notions are not fully formed and you’re not really committed to them yet, but they have [...]
See Good Intentions
October 12, 2012 By
What do others want? The Practice: See good intentions. Why? Hustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop’s refrigerator, a man was bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he’d put …
See Your Part
September 29, 2012 By
What’s your own role? The Practice: See your part. Why? In situations or relationships with any kind of difficulty – tension, feeling hurt, conflicts, mismatches of wants . . . the usual crud – it’s natural to focus on what othe…
Embrace Fragility
September 19, 2012 By
Could it crack? The Practice: Embrace fragility. Why? The truth of anything is like a mosaic with many tiles, many parts. One part of the truth of things is that they are robust and enduring, whether it’s El Capitan in Yosemite or the love of a child for her mother and father. Another part of [...]
Speak Wisely
September 13, 2012 By
What are you saying? The Practice: Speak wisely. Why? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Ah, not really. Often it’s words – and the tone that comes with them – that actually do the most damage. Just think back on some of the things that have been said [...]
Drop The “Shoulds”
September 11, 2012 By
Is it really true? The Practice: “Drop the “shoulds.” Why? One time I watched a three-year-old at her birthday party. Her friends were there from preschool, and she received lots of presents. The cake came out, she admired the pink frosting rose at its center, and everyone sang. One of the moms cut pieces and [...]
Hold Wants Lightly
June 21, 2012 By
What do you want? The Practice: Hold wants lightly. Why? Getting caught up in wanting – wanting both to get what’s pleasant and to avoid what’s unpleasant – is a major source of suffering and harm for oneself and others. First, a lot of what we want to get comes with a big price tag [...]
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