See Your Part

What’s your own role? The Practice: See your part. Why? In situations or relationships with any kind of difficulty – tension, feeling hurt, conflicts, mismatches of wants . . . the usual crud – it’s natural to focus on what othe… [Read more...]

Embrace Fragility

Could it crack? The Practice: Embrace fragility. Why? The truth of anything is like a mosaic with many tiles, many parts. One part of the truth of things is that they are robust and enduring, whether it’s El Capitan in Yosemite or the love of a child for her mother and father. Another part of [...] [Read more...]

Speak Wisely

What are you saying? The Practice: Speak wisely. Why? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Ah, not really. Often it’s words – and the tone that comes with them – that actually do the most damage. Just think back on some of the things that have been said [...] [Read more...]

Drop The “Shoulds”

Is it really true? The Practice: “Drop the “shoulds.” Why? One time I watched a three-year-old at her birthday party. Her friends were there from preschool, and she received lots of presents. The cake came out, she admired the pink frosting rose at its center, and everyone sang. One of the moms cut pieces and [...] [Read more...]

Let It R.A.I.N.

Can you be with the whole of your psyche? The Practice: Let it R.A.I.N. Why? When you’re young, the territory of the psyche is like a vast estate, with rolling hills, forests and plains, swamps and meadows. So many things can be experienced, expressed, wanted, and loved. But as life goes along, most people pull [...] [Read more...]

Find Your Own Way

Did you truly choose this path? The Practice: Find your own way. Why? The human body has about 100 trillion cells (plus another ten quadrillion microscopic critters hitching a ride, most of them beneficial or harmless). Each one of your cells has aims – goals, in a sense – controlled by its DNA: cells conduct [...] [Read more...]

Wake Up To Good News

Are you exaggerating sticks while downplaying carrots? The Practice: Wake up to good news. Why? “Tell the truth.” It’s the foundation of science, ethics, and relationships. But we have a brain that evolved to tell lies to help us survive. As I’ve written before, over several hundred million years our ancestors: * Had to avoid [...] [Read more...]

Change The Channel

What can you do when nothing is working? The Practice: Change the channel. Why? In response to my previous JOT – Find Stillness – a wise therapist, Betsy Sansby, reminded me that sometimes a person just can’t find any stillness anywhere. Maybe you have epilepsy or chronic pain, or are wildly worried about a child [...] [Read more...]

Find Stillness

What doesn’t change? The Practice: Find stillness. Why? Things keep changing. The clock ticks, the day unfolds, trees grow, leaves turn brown, hair turns gray, children grow up and leave home, attention skitters from this to that, the cookie is delicious but then it’s all gone, you’re mad about something for awhile and then get [...] [Read more...]

Forgive

Are you holding onto feeling wronged? The Practice: Forgive. Why? Forgiveness is a tricky topic. First, it has two distinct meanings: *  To give up resentment or anger *  To pardon an offense; to stop seeking punishment or recompense Here, I am going to focus on the first meaning, which is broad enough to include [...] [Read more...]


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