Try a Softer Tone

How do you talk to people? The Practice: Try a softer tone. Why? When our kids were little, I’d come home from work wanting some peace after the daily roller-coaster and often walk into a living room full of stuff – toy trucks, tennis shoes, bags of chips, etc. Irritated, the first words out of [...] [Read more...]

Receive Faces

What do their faces say to you? The Practice: Receive faces. Why? As our ancestors evolved over millions of years in small bands, continually interacting and working with each other, it was vitally important to communicate in hundreds of ways each day. They shared information about external “carrots” and “sticks,” and about their internal experience [...] [Read more...]

Lived By Love

What’s carrying you? The Practice: Lived by love. Why? Feeling both the world and myself these days, one phrase keeps calling: lived by love. Explicitly, this means coming from love in a broad sense, from compassion, good intentions, self-control… [Read more...]

Lived By Love

What’s carrying you? The Practice: Lived by love. Why? Feeling both the world and myself these days, one phrase keeps calling: lived by love. Explicitly, this means coming from love in a broad sense, from compassion, good intentions, self-control, warmth, finding what’s to like, caring, connecting, and kindness. Implicitly, and more fundamentally, this practice means [...] [Read more...]

Don’t Quarrel

Who do you argue with? The Practice: Don’t quarrel. Why? It’s one thing to stick up for yourself and others. But it’s a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness, squabbles . . . in a word: quarrels. Similarly, it’s one thing to disagree with someone, even to the point of arguing – [...] [Read more...]

Trust In Love

Do you believe in love? The Practice: Trust in love. Why? Take a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen offered freely by trees and other green growing things. You can’t see air, but it’s always ava… [Read more...]

Lean Into Good On First Waking

What do you think about whn you first wake up? The Practice: Lean into good on first waking. Why? Waking up is like the sun rising. At first it’s mostly dark, as glimmers of consciousness begin to light the shadows. Emerging into full wakefulness… [Read more...]

See Deep Wants

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, what’re the deepest wants of all? The Practice: See deep wants. Why? I did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic … [Read more...]

Don’t Rain On The Parade

Why do we have cheerleaders? The Practice: Don’t rain on the parade. Why? Let’s say you’ve had an interesting idea or moment of inspiration, or thought of a new project, or felt some enthusiasm bubbling up inside you. Your notions are not fully formed and you’re not really committed to them yet, but they have [...] [Read more...]

See Good Intentions

What do others want? The Practice: See good intentions. Why? Hustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop’s refrigerator, a man was bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he’d put … [Read more...]


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