S*&t My Daughter says

Yesterday my daughter Ashley and her husband Zack dropped by the house on their way back to Spokane. Shortly before heading out on the road again, Ashley took a potty break. Her father and I and Zack were sitting in the adjoining living room when all of sudden we heard Ashley yell, “S*&T!”

Ashley doesn’t cuss.

At least not in front of her mama and daddy she doesn’t.

Tim looked at me.

I looked at Zack.

Zack stood up.

“You okay?” he called through the bathroom door. When someone is in the bathroom yelling the S-word, it’s very discombobulating. The people on the other side aren’t sure what to make of it.

“I dropped my phone in the toilet,” Ashley hollered back.

We could hear water running and Ashley pitching a hissy fit on the other side of the door.

“I hope you dropped it before you went,” Zack said.

“I dropped it after I went!” she yelled back. The phone had fallen out of her sweatshirt pocket and plopped down in a bowlful of pee. Ashley had to scoop it out, thus the yelling.

“Get the battery out quick,” we all yelled at her.

“Do you have some rice?” Zack asked.

“Sure,” I said, heading for the cupboard.

“This is an experiment, we’ll see if it works,” Zack said, pouring the rice in a bowl, then into a Ziploc bag. Supposedly the rice will pull the moisture from the phone,  a good thing given that there’s no way to clean a pee-stained cellphone.

Ashley was out of the bathroom but still hollering: “I can’t believe I did that! I can’t believe it. I can’t use that phone now.”

Tim, ever the diplomat, comes around to her side, puts his arm around her and said, “I thought you were making a proclamation of some sort.”

“What?” she said.

“I thought you were announcing what you were doing in the bathroom,” he said through a fit of giggles. “I didn’t know why you felt the need to scream out S&*T! I didn’t know what you wanted us to do about it.”

You can’t blame a parent. We are the ones who potty-trained all you adults after all. There were many times when we gathered around toilets and clapped exuberantly over your ability to do your duty. Perhaps Tim just thought Ashley was calling out for a bit of praise? I must admit there was a tiny little moment when I thought “My, she is so proud of herself!”

By now we were all doubled-over, laughing to the point of peeing ourselves.

Yes. It truly is a disconcerting moment when someone in the bathroom hollas out.

Should you holla back? Or wait to see if it’s just a passing thang?

Oh. And that rice solution?

Just an old wives tale.

About Karen Spears Zacharias

Author. Speaker. Journalism Instructor. Four kids. Three dogs. One grandson.

  • http://www.garynelson.wordpress.com Gary

    How funny. My daughter ran her phone through the washing machine inside a pair of jeans. I took it and promptly placed in a bag of rice and left it in there for about 2 days. It worked in her case.

    • Karen Spears Zacharias

      Really? Well maybe she just needs to give it more time.

      • mary harris

        me too karen–let it sit in a sealed bag of rice for at lest a couple of days phone and battery both but separated–it worked for me too

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  • John in PDX

    Gary,
    I guess it depends on whether you already peed on it. Iad a buddy that dropped his keys in a Kybo (not the portable type) in the middle of the Steens. He had to get his fishing pole out to get them back.
    Regards,
    John

  • Layne

    My bluetooth went through an entire washing machine cycle. I put it in a baggie of rice – put it in the freezer. Believe it or not, it works great – and has for the last year plus.

  • Diane

    Well, at least it wasn’t the #2 job she had to fetch it out of!!!

  • http://wayiseeit-eleanor.blogspot.com/ Eleanor

    The big question is…. is Ashley still speaking to you? My kids get all bent out of shape if I do a Bombeck on ‘em.

    • Karen Spears Zacharias

      Only on the speaker phone, Eleanor. Only on the speaker phone.

  • Eddie

    It must be embarrassing being one of your children from time to time. There is nothing that you will not tell on either of them; or on yourself for that matter. I have read several times over the years something you have told and thought to myslef “I don’t think I would have put that on line for the world to read”, but that is just you being you. Sorry Ashley, I guess you are used to it by now. :-)

    • Karen Spears Zacharias

      Eddie: Ashley says she doesn’t know which is worse having a mom as a columnist when she was in high school — everyone knew who she was and who I was — or having these stories online where even people she doesn’t know knows this stuff about her. Either way she’s still laughing pretty hard about it. My kids all have a great sense of humor — being my children they’d have to, right?

  • Karen Spears Zacharias

    Okay. I take it back. The rice thing did work. It just took a little longer than a couple of hours.

    • http://www.garynelson.wordpress.com Gary

      Tell her to take that rice now and make rice PEEloff.

  • Eddie

    being my children they’d have to, right?

    ABSOLUTELY! I have seen the name of each show up on your blog.

  • Gloria

    Oh my gosh! I was laughing so hard I was crying after I read this. Thank you for sharing even though I know that Ashley probably isn’t happy about it. We love you Ashley:)

    • Karen Spears Zacharias

      Oh, Ashley has a pretty good sense of humor. She laughed pretty hard at her daddy’s remark herself.


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