Sex Offender targets Christian Women Bloggers

August 16, 2011 By Karen Spears Zacharias 135 Comments

I have met several of the people who regularly visit this blog. I value your input and insights. For the most part, I’m a pretty trusting soul — once you get past the skeptic in me. I like to consider that what draws people to this blog is our shared interests in faith, family, politics and social justice.

Tonight I received a disturbing email from a blog visitor that has stopped me in my tracks. This reader was writing to advise me that one of the people in this blog community is a registered sex offender. As proof they sent me the link to the registration.

All this just makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me want to shut down this blog and all my other online activity and tell you all that if you want to read my writings, then buy my books. Hopefully you are doing that already anyway.

I make no bones about having a love-hate relationship with all things media.

It’s like a former editor of mine once said, “Your weakness is just your strength cranked up a notch too high.”

That’s not just the truth about us individually — it’s the truth about us collectively. The strength of who we are as a country is our willingness to embrace anyone. Our Ellis Island, our Statue of Liberty. But it’s also our weakness. It’s how the terrorists of 9-11 were able to do the evil that they did.

Some of you know I was sexually abused a young girl. I don’t write much about it because as my friend Destre says about his father’s death in Iraq — it hurts me to talk about all that.

You understand that, I’m sure.

You probably understand, then, how upset I am to get an email from a reader telling me that a registered sex offender has been lurking on the other side of this screen, and posting comments deceptively, as if he is a pastor. (Don’t bother looking back through the comments to try and puzzle over who it might be. I’ve deleted his posts already.) His own blog site refers to his credentials as a minister.

My own research reveals that this particular “minister” was arrested last year while serving as a pastor of media and technology at a church. He held a minister’s license by the denomination he was serving. He was arrested for failing to register as a sex offender.

The lead pastor at the church said that they were aware of this man’s past and that he “had accepted Christ as his savior and is a changed man … In this church, we really want to be redemptive to people, not condemn them for the past.”

About the man’s failure to register as a sex offender — an offense that landed him back in jail with a $10,000 bail — the lead pastor said: “He is someone who has paid his debt to society and has been living an upright life. But obviously he made a mistake, he should have registered.”

Here is the warning, in part, that I received and I’m putting out there for others to consider:

- He uses flattery to establish an emotional connection with women online (classic grooming)

- He acts as an advocate for women’s issues

- He offers prayers for the slightest thing

- He acts like a huge fan

- He speaks the language of the Church community

- His Twitter account states: I work in Christian recovery and ex-offender re-entry and re-integration. Sometimes I get to preach at my church.

-He is targeting Christian women bloggers

Christians have long been susceptible to this sort of abuser because the minute we take a stance that says a person of this nature can’t be trusted, we deny the redemptive power of Christ, right?

So, tell me, what’s a woman blogger to do when she receives a warning like I have?

And what about within the church community? How should we deal with sex abusers within the faith community? Should a pastor alert his/her congregation when a registered sex offender is in their midst? And what about my obligation here? If the person is a registered sex offender, do I have an obligation to let you all know who this person is? Or should I keep his identity private?

What would you do?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: blogging, children, church, faith community, minister, registered sex offender, sex abuse, warning 135 Comments

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http://Www.johilder.com Jo Hilder

I did what you did. Thank you Karen for the heads up.
http://ramblingshappeningsandgrace.blogspot.com Kate

Thanks for the heads up. I’m reminded of a conversation yesterday where my friend said the Holy Spirit gives us the gift of discernment for a reason.

If he is currently lying, I would expose him to warn other women & children. I’ve heard of horror stories where churches have not told other churches about offenders, and many get hurt.

Karen Spears Zacharias

How can you tell from online if someone is lying? Isn’t that the problem with online community? Or real-time for that matter.

http://ramblingshappeningsandgrace.blogspot.com Kate

That’s true. In my ethics class we were basically scared straight into developing boundaries for relationships and enforcing appropriate boundaries. From my understanding, you seem to suspect he’s lying. If you feel threatened, you should make that person’s identity known. If you feel that others could be threatened, you might also want to say something.

http://www.stephindialogue.com Stephanie Smith

This is sobering, for sure. I’m glad someone told you and you took precautionary measures. This is such a complicated situation and I don’t know if I have any answers. In a church community, I would advocate telling families about a registered sex offender, yes, for future protection and prevention. Online…I don’t know. But I tend to think that if a person has not been upfront and appears deceptive about their intentions, they should be called out.

Karen Spears Zacharias

So do you think if a pastor and church leadership knows that someone in their community is a registered sex offender this should be made public to the community as a whole?

http://www.seekingfaithfulnessblog.blogspot.com Holly

Yes. If that person settles into their church community, it needs to be made known to leadership at the very least. That person should never work with children, ever. This comes up more than you might think in church work, unfortunately.

Is anyone ever outside of the reach of God? No….but…..there is a very low “heal rate” for sexual crimes against children, specifically. (But your post does not say if this is against children, or women.)

I think the biggest red flag would be the fact that he failed to register. That means he’s not being completely up front about it all. And the church should not be protecting him by allowing him to hide it.

There is a place in the church for the truly repentant offender – but there will always need to be strong oversight and boundaries enforced for him.

It’s tough – but maybe that’s a good job for an all male Bible Study group to handle.
http://www.stephindialogue.com Stephanie Smith

I guess I’m on the fence. In my experience with this, my family has let key people and families with children know about a sex offender because they come into close contact with him and need to take precautions. That at least needs to be done. I wouldn’t want to marginalize a person from the community if they are striving to become a better person and put their past behind them, but how do you ever know?

http://www.timthurmansblog.blogspot.com Tim Thurman

Boy oh boy! I don’t even know where to come down on this. On one hand, there is the absolute need to protect women from abuse. On the other hand, as Christians, are we not about forgiving and grace and giving people a second chance? Maybe he is a changed man. I imagine I relate to this because I am a convicted felon (my felony was not a sex crime — I forged a judge’s signature). I do not want people to write me off because I choose to do something stupid. And my conviction was probably the best thing that could have happened to me — gave me the kick in the butt I needed to get my life back on track.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Tim: I know as a Believer I’m not supposed to make distinctions between offenses but I don’t live in a transcendent world. I live in this one. And in this one I make those distinctions. There’s a different to me between forging a check and molesting a child. Or participating in online child porn.
You let me know from the get go that you were an offender, tho, I never asked what you did. I just accepted that you were working your faith out. I trust that still.

http://www.sctnow.org Chelan Rene’ Russ

You said, “I know as a Believer I’m not supposed to make distinctions between offenses…” but I dont think that’s anywhere in scripture. In fact scripture refers to sexual sin as not equal to other sins – it’s so obvious why. So I think it’s not only expected but wise to make those sin distinctions when sexual abuse has been proven, because the Word speaks on it. God made us this way – we categorize sin too much – but in this case, it’s justified.
Now where we draw that line,is when we say he’s not able to be or deserving to be redeemed, rehabilitated or saved.
My 2 cents

http://middletree.blogspot.com James Williams

Whether or not a person can be rehabilitated (secular term; the churchy term is “freed from bondage”), this guy seems like he still has some issues to work through before he’s there.

I don’t think you have an obligation to let us know his identity. You have issued this warning, and that’s enough to make everyone cautious going forward.

Whether a church has a responsibility, that’s a tough one. Obviously they have a responsibility to keep him from working with kids. It would be nice if he would tell the church himself. It would be a great public testimony of the healing power that Jesus offers. And it would communicate his status to people in an open way. Satan likes to work in the dark. Openness is often a good thing.

Karen Spears Zacharias

I agree, James. That’s why I decided to post this. The church was clear that they don’t allow him around kids. Now how they do that, I’m unclear. Most churches are loose-knit communities at best. How many of us attend church with people whose names we don’t know? Much less their criminal histories?

http://logicandimagination.wordpress.com/ Melody Hanson

Wow, our church has a policy that you cannot work with kids unless you have a clear background check. So I am sure they run the same on their staff. (I’m assuming.)

I don’t think a church should have an ex-offender on staff. Unless it’s generally public and there is then trust that has developed. Wow.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Seems like a good policy to have in place. I know a lot of the larger churches do this. I doubt it’s commonplace in smaller community churches however.

Jenny

I go to a very small church (less than 50 people), and even there, anyone who works in child care has to undergo a background check. If it is not standard practice in small churches, it should be, just for the church’s protection and the peace of mind for visitors.

http://www.fallible.com Katy McKenna

I have been blogging since 1999, and am not aware of any obvious predators on my site. However, Twitter has proven to be sometimes problematic for me. A number of men have sent me serial private messages, in which they ooze flattery, etc. I absolutely do not respond. Before dropping off, they typically escalate into saying my photo looks “hot,” which never fails to make me howl with laughter. Then I tattle-tale on the guy to my husband in case I’m even slightly tempted to respond, followed by ignoring with a renewed vengeance.

In real life, I have had problems with several church men over the years. One was an elder who was approaching women and girls of all ages. Big donator to the church, too. When the subject was broached with the pastor, it was pooh-poohed. They couldn’t afford to lose the guy, so they lost us instead. Ridiculous.

You did the right thing by deleting all his comments, Karen. Will he come back with an altered persona? Perhaps. I pray you’ll know how to deal with this going forward, and trust that God can grant the wisdom to do so. I am so sorry this happened in your community here! In the meantime, in all on-line relationships as in in-person relationships, the “oh-oh” feeling is one that needs to be nurtured and used judiciously.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Churches are simply a microscopic reflection of society-at-large. So it shouldn’t surprise us when we encounter flawed human beings in that environment, yet, I am almost always surprised by it.

Disappointingly so.

http://koinepdx1.blogspot.com AF Roger

Red flags all over the place. The lead pastor’s statements concern me. Accepting Christ and having a conversion experience is not synonymous with having all of one’s character flaws forever fixed. Not knowing what kind of supervision, ongoing therapy, and accountability program this man’s church has set up, I can’t affirm or condemn their decision. But I can say this. The church has taken a big risk, and the reputation of the church in case of any future “mistakes” is secondary. They don’t have the right to take these risks on behalf of others who might be unknowing.

I was ordained this year by my denomination. It was a real world process that involved bunches of stuff never dreamed of in the past. Endless psychological evaluations. Personality tests. Interviews with PhD psychologists and candidacy teams of clergy and lay persons. Background investigations. Questionnaires regarding any possible misdeeds behaviorally, sexually, fianancially, criminally. This fall I will attend a sexual boundaries workshop that must be repeated periodically. No church should do less. And I for sure hope that there is not a lower standard for licensure in that denomination than there is for ordination.

An experience: During my clinical pastoral education training at a major area hospital, a very disturbing situation arose. One of my peers, an Evangelical pastor who had been let go from his congregation after his addiction to online pornography came to light, was found to have been viewing pornography online using the hospital’s computers. The IT security system detected it. This act was sickening to the rest of the group, especially to the women, all of whom had been sexually abused in the past. The program supervisor chose to keep the offender in the group and keep him on a very tight leash. I strongly disagreed with this decision and told the supervisor so in no uncertain terms. If it had become known by the hospital staff, it would have caused a revolt. If there had been an actual act of impropriety by this man against a staff member or a patient, it would have caused personal damage, a huge liability cost for the hospital, and would have at least temporarily ended accreditation and training for everyone in the program. I told the supervisor that his desire to salvage this man, if possible, was admirable but that he did not have the right to take that risk on behalf of everyone and everything else. If he wanted to do that, he needed to do it outside the program on his own time.

Addictions and deviant behaviors are powerful forces. Even after the behavior ceases or is interrupted, major personality issues likely persist and must be dealt with. We have only to look at people like George W. Bush and Tom DeLay who gave up booze but didn’t do 12-step programs or other therapy to know that they might be saved and forgiven but not healed. Indeed, sometimes substance addiction can metamorphose into a religious addiction or a power and control addiction. And that’s with the addictive behavior–alcohol abuse–publicly known. With private, secretive behavior involving sexuality and relationships with other people, the need for therapy, accountability and firm boundaries and restrictions on behavior multiplies by an order of magnitutde. At least.

Mistakes are mistakes. Intentional mistakes aren’t mistakes. They are intentions, loudly and clearly.

Karen Spears Zacharias

I agree, Roger. There are red flags all over this one. I had been reading his blog. One post addressed this very issue — abuse of children. When I first read it a couple of weeks ago, I took it to be a voice of advocacy on behalf of abused women and children. Looking back now, and rereading it, I realize that it’s predatory in nature. Something I completely missed the first read through.
It’s how we filter. Our context.
Now that I know he’s done the very thing he was bellowing about, I read it with a different eye.
The lead pastor at his church — same denomination that I now attend — says he’s a changed man. The reporter asked if he knew him years ago, when the offense for which he was convicted took place. No, the pastor said. Then how can you know he’s a changed man? the reporter asked. Good question.
How can we know?
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries in place, as you so aptly noted.
And one of those boundaries, it would seem to me, is to never ordain someone with a criminal past of molesting children.
The Catholic Church isn’t the only community that’s been silent on this.
How many of you have heard a sermon preached on the issue of child abuse or sex abuse?
Yet, pastors frequently speak out about what the faith community has labeled the deviant behavior of gays.

Anon

Shaiyaiyai. As someone similarly abused – by a pastor – and who blogs…I am totally freaked out by this. My abuser is still a pastor. I don’t know if he has shared his past. Grace…yes. Grace for us too. How does this balance? I don’t know.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Anon: See note about to Roger about how the Catholic Church isn’t the only community to keep their sins silent on this issue.
Pathetic that he’s still a pastor.

Susan N.

Karen, I am so sorry that this happened to you, considering what you have shared of your past. It is so difficult for me to trust people (men, especially), and not become too cynical. I pray that God will give you wisdom and discernment going forward. I admire your authenticity — it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there that way. Peace~

Karen Spears Zacharias

It takes courage to be a pastor these days. I get to hide behind the screen when I want to. He/She doesn’t have that luxury. They all need our prayers.

John in PDX

I have followed abuses closely in the Catholic church and Boy Scouts. Someone needs to name names. Cover up just makes it worse in my opinion.

Karen Spears Zacharias

I agree.

http://sosen.org former sex offender

Forgive this former sex offender or God will not forgive you
Matthew 6:15

Truth Seeker

Of course the offender is to be forgiven, but forgiveness does not mean that people sit around and let a sex offender deceive people.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Does a sex offender really “forget” to register?

http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

Since you’ve deleted those comments, how can we judge if your actions were justified or if you are overreacting simply because of the person’s status as a registered citizen? Should a person’s comments only have value if they pass background checks beforehand? Is there a bible reference you can quote to show that Jesus would approve of your reaction?

If he was actually harassing you, that would be one thing. If he was merely trying to live as a reformed man you judge him based on a label alone that would be a different thing altogether.

I don’t know your whole story, but just from the reaction here it seems you (and some of your readers, judging by the comments) need to address your distrust issues as well as do a little research. Simply because a person landed on the registry does not mean this person behaves as a sex offender the rest of his life. Heck, even treatment includes victim empathy courses, and many faith-based programs, as well as Restorative Justice, also teach making amends wherever possible. Sex offenders also have a very low rate of recidivism, which is even lowered with treatment and proper reintegration and support programs– like a church, for example.

The irony is victims rarely seek out treatment to overcome their pain. Instead the concept of helping victims involves fueling lifelong rage and mistrust. Hm. Jesus didn’t say “let she who was ever victimized cast the first stone.”

One more thing– Failure to Register can mean anything from forgetting to register a business email or failure to a pay a fee. I left you a website full of all sorts of studies and facts about sex offenders. I even have links to victim services. However unless you address your own issues then it is a moot point.

http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

And how am I “blaming the victim?” Because I am encouraging her to get educated and work on a difficult issue? How is the author victimized simply because someone posted a few comments on her board? There is nothing to show that she was being “groomed” or “threatened” in any way than “OMG he’s a sex offender!” Since posts are deleted, I can’t tell. However, she gave me enough info to find his blog and twitter page. I didn’t see anything threatening or grooming.

I happen to know a few people who really pretend to advocate for victims and one who is a registered sexual offender. If the author kept the actual comments I could see for myself but what I’ve seen so far is more overreaction and not proof.

To the author: Ever heard of screen shots? Pretty much every web browser has some add-ons that allow you to capture and save screen shots or sections of a screen which you can edit. You could’ve taken comments and erased the author’s name and posted the comments.

What you describe as “grooming” could simply be someone with an opinion. I’m not denying the possibility of wrongdoing I merely asked for proof. Okay he’s a sex offender, but then so what? Like I said, was there a real threat?

Karen Spears Zacharias

I finally have been able to determine why I’m uncomfortable with your approach to this whole discourse — you act as though you have been personally maligned here.
And that’s where I get pretty uncomfortable with registered sex offenders. When they start behaving as though they are the ones who’ve been mistreated.
To suggest that I would do something deceptive as you have in the graph about screen shots reveals to me that 1) you have no idea who you are speaking to 2) and you approach this whole matter as if you’ve been the one wronged.
And that, for me, is a red flag.

http://www.lauraziesel.com Laura Ziesel

I agree completely with your perspective, Karen. Defending oneself and placing the blame on others is not the way an ex-offender should proceed. You hit the nail on the head with why it was also bothering me.
http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

Your overreaction is a “red flag.” What you presented in your article tells people two things:

1. You based your judgment on a label, which apparently you still do, and,

2. You don’t like being challenged on your beliefs and are on the defensive. In fact, you fling out assumptions and accusations at every person so far who has challenged your beliefs. I don’t have any more an agenda or vested interest in this discussion than you. I merely challenged you to see if you are acting on the basis of a label versus of a real threat and instead you went on the defensive and accuse me of victim bashing.

The way I and many people who have read this post see it, you judged a person by his label, overreacted, and justified your reactions by appeals to emotion. Our society teaches that it is okay to shun a person simply because of his label. You KNOW YOU ARE WRONG, but you are sticking to your guns. That’s cool, I’m sticking to my guns too.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Oncefallen:

I don’t mind being challenged at all. What I mind is the way in which you approach this discourse. Quite different from most here, and, as I’ve already pointed out, it’s as though you expect me to defend myself because you somehow feel maligned.

Karen Spears Zacharias

OnceFallen:

Whatever issues I have, I’m pretty transparent about. Seems like that would be crucial to any healing — for the victim or the offender, right?

http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

Well if you are judging primarily by a label than it is not a sign of healing. From the way you’ve written about it, it implies your viewpoint of said blogger changed the moment someone pointed out his past, which could influence the entire outlook about said person.

I don’t just talk, Karen, I look things up. I took something you posted which allowed me to track down said individual’s Twitter and blog. I’m sure I found the right one based on the info you gave me plus the few posts you made there. It could be easy to interpret things based upon bias created by a label. Like I said, all I have to go by is your claim and his web pages. It is possible the guy is what you claim he is, but from what I’ve seen, it seems less likely. I think he may be a bit misguided, however. Unfortunately, some sex offender treatment programs pretty much teach misandry and beat into their heads the same thing feminists teach.

I like to at least look a person as a whole person rather than a label. I didn’t judge you for writing a book called Where’s Your Jesus Now?: Examining How FEAR Erodes Our Faith. However, fear seems to be a go-to subject of yours. I am curious how much of that fear was the cause of the original blog post.

Karen Spears Zacharias

No fear at all on my part.

But I don’t discount that the person who relayed the information to me had reason to be afraid. Good reason it appears.

That’s not to say that I took heresay as evidence. I didn’t. I did my own checking, and have only reported the information that I was able to verify from legitimate outside sources.

There is much more that I was told that I have not reported here. Nor will I.

http://www.lauraziesel.com Laura Ziesel

Interesting. A few thoughts:

1) As a blogger who leads a semi-public life, it’s disturbing. But I knew this was a danger when I chose to start writing publicly.

2) If he is continuing to engage in questionable behavior, even if it causes him temptation, those who know him should be voices of correction. Those who have interacted with him in the past should have very solid boundaries.

3) Things like this are hard for me because I do know two sex offenders who are now fully recovered in an amazing God-glorifying way. It is in fact possible, and treating someone as a pariah simply because of past sin is so, so sad.

But I don’t know where the lines should be drawn.

http://www.moonchild11.wordpress.com moonchild11

I agree that it’s hard to tell where lines should be drawn. I have fellow church members who are ex-offenders. I know they have changed and that God is using them, but I still don’t feel comfortable around them as an abuse victim myself. I give grace, but I am cautious.

It’s especially difficult on the internet when you never REALLY know who a person is. You definitely have to be extra careful, and I’m glad Karen is making sure people are on their toes!
Karen Spears Zacharias

Laura:

How does one know for sure when sex offenders are fully recovered? I mean it’s pretty easy to see when the meth user is using again, when the drinker has fallen off the wagon, when the cheater is cheating. But how does one know when the sex offender has cleaned up, given the soaring statistics on online porn and particularly child porn?

http://www.lauraziesel.com Laura Ziesel

Great question. Fully recovered is probably the wrong phrase, because who of us is ever fully recovered? But both of them I trust completely, probably in part because they have been up front in a non-creepy way about their mistakes. If it matters, both of them were also abuse victims, and they carried on the cycle instead of fighting it.

And, as the family member of many addicts (who will appreciate my vague terminology in identifying them), addicts are GENIUSES at hiding a fall off the wagon, substance abuse or not. It’s usually quite hard to identify a fall off the wagon until they’ve fallen hard.

But I admit that someone who has a history of sexual abuse should probably avoid talking about/writing about abuse and things of that nature as a discipline, especially because they can be personal triggers. So, you are probably right to throw up some cautionary flags based on the behavior of the man in question (who also responds to things I write at times).

LMcC

Former sex offender: Actually, you just proved right there that any action taken to block a (former?) sex offender is exactly the right thing to do. Far from exhibiting any sympathy for the abused or understanding that necessary caution must be taken, you have chosen to throw forced forgiveness back into her face. That’s not repentance. That’s more like acting like you want to shame someone back into being in a position to be re-abused.

BTW, I know some sex offenders can be rehabilitated. They’re the ones who understand the seriousness of their past behavior and are willing to exercise proper caution around victims and around people like their own past victims. The ones who try to force forgiveness and try to work their way back into the same positions where they once harmed others? They’re not there yet, and won’t be until they knock off the show.

Rudy101

You may be right? Except you probably are NOT a therapist who can make any judgments about any particular individual.

But the registry lets you, doesn’t it?

Karen Spears Zacharias

The registry is a necessary tool. You don’t have to be a therapist to understand that, as Roger stated above, we need boundaries.

Is it troubling that a sex offender has to deal with a skeptical public? Yes.

But forgiveness doesn’t equate to no consequences. Some sins carry more cumbersome consequences than others.

susieq

Does that registry tell you if the registered person was a Romeo? In Oklahoma, if a boy turns 18 before his 15 year old girlfriend turns 16, and they have had relations, he can be charged with 2nd degree rape. Lots of these couples go on to marry and live with this scarlet letter. Was your parent or grandparent one of these perverts? The registry is broken and protects no one. Please read the article by Jordan Smith in the Austin Chronicle. “Find out how you’re a pervert”. Yes there are dangerous people out there. But if we follow the law, how many more of us should be registered. Have you ever went to the bushes because there was no bathroom? Have you ever skinny dipped? Taken pictures of children in the bath because it was cute? Or on a bearskin rug? Your just as guilty of a sex crime as the next registered person. And yes I was victimized twice as a child. The Lord healed me and now I am whole. Praise Him.

Karen Spears Zacharias

I understand that the registry is flawed. But so far, no one has suggested a better alternative. Certainly open to that discussion, should anyone care to provide a viable alternative.

http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.com Sex Offender Issues

Did anything this person say, make you uncomfortable, or was it sexual in nature?

I have only just now read this article, so I don’t claim to know what he/she said, but maybe, just maybe, they were just trying to be friendly and help people in need?

Again, I am not saying he/she was or wasn’t, I don’t know the full story here, I am just offering my comments.
http://www.johilder.com Jo Hilder

I’ve not disabled comments on my blog, because that is an open forum and people can follow up themselves on individuals who leave comments there by the links on their names. It also allows anyone who leaves comments to be seen by all and judged by what they say. Blog comments can be controlled.
But I have decided to do what you did Karen on Twitter, because when someone retweets what you say and sends you messages there you take them on face value, and it is easy to become drawn by flattery into a pseudo relationship one could construe as support or friendship.

Karen Spears Zacharias

And there is the issue of credibility, something I think about a lot. This person has a link back to my site. If you are a new visitor to his site and you see my name there, does that lend credibility to him? Does that newcomer think, Oh, he knows Karen. He must be a decent chap.

Truth Seeker

EXACTLY!! …and sometimes people intentionally seek out those types of relationships so they will seem credible and trustworthy!

http://www.fallible.com Katy McKenna

Laura, I believe that sex offenders can recover, as you say. The question in my mind is who and how much we risk while we wait to witness the fruit of that recovery.

My husband and I have known a man for 35 years who, decades ago, spent time in prison for repeatedly molesting his young step-daughters. Upon release from prison, he called and wanted to visit our new home. “I looked you up in the phone book,” he said to me. “I know your address and I’ll be knocking on your door one of these nights, soon.” I had three young kids at the time. He had not then, and has not since then expressed remorse or any wish to lead a different life.

My husband agreed to meet him at a restaurant and must have expressed to him my unwillingness for him to come to our house. Within days, I received a handwritten letter from him (addressed to me alone) in which he expressed his wrath at me for “judging” him. His language was so threatening that I actually feared him for some years.

He still calls regularly to chat with my husband, and that is fine. But I cannot be involved with him in any way, and find no Scriptural injunction commanding me to do so. I pray he one day can be among those who’ve recovered in “an amazing God-glorifying way.” Until then, I’ve had to draw the lines where they’ve been drawn.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Lives are messy. Redemption can be too.
http://www.lauraziesel.com Laura Ziesel

Oh, well that is just creepy and manipulative. Big points in the red flag column for sure. It’s hard to say how to trust people, because we all know different people. The people I know are decades away from their sins, so I did not witness any of the restoration to society. I don’t know what it is, but I go with my gut a lot. Perhaps that’s bad. But if you’re uncomfortable, I say heed it.

Jake

Boy is this a tough one…

My $0.02 is go with your gut. Yes we want to be gracious to sin-broken people; but God’s word says we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Part of loving ourselves is protecting ourselves from harm, and not exposing ourselves to danger unnecessarily. That is practicing stewardship of God’s good gift of self (I hope that makes sense). It is certainly reasonable to expect the same levels of appropriateness and boundaries online as we do in real life.

As someone who was abused myself, I recognize that there are situations and relationships that I have to avoid if it is reasonable to do so. And when I can’t I have to trust in God’s grace and strength to work through them to conform me to the image of Christ that I so long for.

On a more practical note — this fellow may come back under another name and email address. It has happened repeatedly on a listserv I subscribe to — a (probably) paranoid schizophrenic individual keeps signing up with new email addresses (and then getting booted).

Jake H.
3rd year MDiv student @ Pittsburgh Theological Seminary

Karen Spears Zacharias

Jake: Thanks for sharing your insights and heartbreak with us. As the daughter of a soldier killed in action, I often advocate on behalf of military families. However, I’ve learned that the one thing I can’t do is attend the funerals of our fallen soldiers. It’s just too painful. So I established that boundary without any guilt. I just realize that being at those funerals wounds me far too much.
I feel the same way about dealing with sex offenders. It hurts too much. Makes me too crazy. I have to avoid it whenever possible. There’s no guilt in that for me. It’s just an awareness that dealing with offenders isn’t my calling.

http://katdish.net katdish

I believe in forgiveness and redemption. I don’t subscribe to the policy of forgive and forget, however. And yes, I’m being judgmental and not very Christ-like. But there are some scary ass people in this world, and you can never be too careful. We are all broken and sinful. There’s just some kinds of brokenness I’d rather steer clear of. Yes, I’m a horrible person. Sorry.

Shawn

You are not a horrible person, just cautious, but the more you steer clear of these people, (rather the more anyone steers clear of these people,) the less chance they have of receiving some guidance to help keep them from reoffending. What if by God’s grace, he would want you to be a support to someone to keep them from reoffending. As a Registered Former Sex Offender, I have found it easier to not reoffend because I have non-sex offender friends (most who are not Church going people), who I can go to when I am struggling. As much as I hate myself for what I have done, I depend on these people to help me through that hatred and realize that “hey, I have done something extremely heinous in many eyes (including my own), but if I am to have NO MORE VICTIMS, I need to start seeing myself as a better person instead of a monster. These people help me see that and in the end I do not reoffend and have kept myself out of situations that might cause me to reoffend.

All I’m saying, is you have a right to be around those you want to be around, but think, “What if someone reoffends that might not have, if you had been there to guide them in the right direction?”

Karen Spears Zacharias

Shawn: Insightful stuff here. Thank you. Yes, we all need people to take the hard walks with us. I get that. And I’m glad that there have been people — even non Church people — who have given you the grace you need to be better, to do better.
But I also think that it’s probably wise that sex offenders be mentored by their own gender. There are just too many possibilities for further offense otherwise.

http://www.fallible.com Katy McKenna

When we sin, we always wish that forgiveness included the instant removal of the consequences of sin, but it does not. I can forgive and still withhold trust. It is not required of me that I trust a sex offender or anyone else that hasn’t proven to be trustworthy. Trust is always earned, while forgiveness is a gift.

http://sosen.org former sex offender Anderw Danger)

Right, Forgive but do not trust.. If that person have improve then credits should be given..
but rejecting just because what of they have done 10 years ago is stupid.
It imply that the author was to reject ALL former sex offender regard what happen then that what needs to be looked at.

Karen Spears Zacharias

There are alarms all over this — the news report says police responded to domestic abuse call, then charged him with failure to register as a sex offender. He had moved to a new state in 2009 and by 2010 still had failed to register. He was put in jail and held on $10,000 bond. Not 10 years ago. But last year. While he was a licensed pastor employed by a reputable denomination.

http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.com/p/recidivism-studies.html Andrew Danger

and ? So do drunk driver they keep on drinking and killing our youth and nothing being done.
Are you assuming that the pastor hit his wife ? maybe the police was call because the wife threatened to kill him ?

how many % of the former offender actually Fail to register ? have you found a research for that ?

in police report they found 99% of former offender that did NOT fail to register.
so you create alarm over 1 person action out of 99 people ?

http://www.jeannedamoff.com Jeanne Damoff

Wow, Karen. This is a tough call, and certainly made tougher by your painful history. I appreciate your wrestling with this and also many of the comments you’ve received. Great points.

I have no idea if this man has truly come to Christ and repented of his past. But here are a few observations in his favor:

1. As best I can tell, it sounds like he uses his real name in online interaction.
2. His twitter profile isn’t a full disclosure, but it suggests a connection to his past. If he were trying to hide, he probably wouldn’t even go that far.
3. I know several registered sex offenders who are living God-honoring lives, in strong marriages and, as far as I can tell, truly seeking to follow Christ in full repentance. My heart breaks for them, because I know their registration is a scarlet letter they will have to wear for the rest of their lives — a constant reminder of past shame. Most of us don’t have to plaster our former sins on a billboard.

All that said, I agree with those who’ve pointed out that he needs accountability and clear, consistent boundaries in his interaction with women and children, whether in person or online. Even if God has delivered him from his past and he is a new creature in Christ, it would be foolish for him to subject himself to temptation.

If he does know the Lord, I trust God will use this recent arrest and humiliation (and even your post) to further work the cross and redemption in his life.

As for your question about exposure of sex offenders in the church, potential victims certainly have a right to know, but then again, there are plenty of predators in churches who’ve never been caught, convicted, and registered. Whether we know of offenders or not, we should be on guard for ourselves and our children at all times, balancing diligence with faith in God’s power to protect. We can’t live in fear or we live paralyzed.

I understand your impulse to flee the internet entirely, and yet it can also be an avenue for much good. I pray we as Christian women will have wisdom and discernment in our online relationships — offering the same grace we so desperately need — but also recognizing evil for what it is and wielding the weapons God provides to stand firm against it. May we not be taken in by deceivers, and may we know when it’s time to take action to escape or expose them.

Lots to think about.

Love to you, my friend. Thanks for all you do.

http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

There are ministries on dealing with sexual abuse or sex offenders in the Church. Keeping Kids Safe Ministries, for example.

There is a really good Christian Book called “Helping Victims of Sexual Abuse” by Heitriter and Vought. I would recommend this for the author.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Oncefallen:

I find it interesting that you think that what needs to be done here is for the author of the blog post to find healing.

To be blunt, your approach is kind of creepy to me.

http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

Why, you don’t like being challenged on your own actions? You admit you have issues from being abused. You wrote a book on how fear messes with your faith in God. You make accusations and expect your readers to take it at face value despite the fact you have offered no proof, and yet you see my “approach” as creepy? I think your approach runs counter to your professed faith, and the not everyone appreciates your article or approach.

To be blunt, you sound like a hypocrite.

Karen Spears Zacharias

I did not write a book on how fear messes my faith in God. I wrote a book about overcoming fear. You might want to read it before you review it.

Karen Spears Zacharias

A reminder that I do moderate the comments here. If the language is abrasive or the nature of the comment is demeaning, I delete it. You are welcome to restate your comment in a more thoughtful manner.
http://www.olympicleathervinylrepair.com/ Al

WoW Karen…started reading through the replies and your own comments.
But they go on and on and on! You really hit a Hot Button!
I’ve thought through a number of comments…but with each one I Immediately have a Good rebuttal against it. Back and forth, pro and Con….
ALL seem bonafide, legitimate wise responses I think. But each has bonafide, legitimate not so wise downsides too.
I don’t know what to say.
But I’ll advise this; a prayerful gathering of your most trusted, intimate counselors and advisers. They know you, your work and your ministry.
Blessing wise Lady…..
Rudy101

No, Karen, your blog wants to minimize the nature and extent of the damage done to EVERYONE as it pertains to a registry.

I understand you want thoughtful comments. Believe me, I have thought this through.

Under every single process, the registry comes up short. Whether it be due process, fairness, outcomes of banishment, violence and fear, it is somehow justified because you can point to SOME on the registry, who are obviously dangerous, and then apply THOSE behaviors to any person the State likes at any time, for any reason they can come up with.

The registry comes up short when it comes to GOD BECAUSE it FAILS to distinguish between anyone or allow redemption on any level.

For every awful crime that is committed and will be committed by the very small percentage of people on a registry ALL the people on a registry will lose their voice AND their right to exist.

Whoever you are, Karen, the RIGHT to be treated as an individual NEVER stops because some State or government decided they can apply something or anything to them, for as long as they like.

That is called, by the whole nature of it, despotism. The ultimate goal of these laws, long after we are around is, lifelong incarceration and death for anyone the State can pin even the most innocuous, human sexual frailty.

The calls are loud for arbitrary imprisonment. The laws are designed to ensnare innocent conduct. For EVERYONE (over 750,000 people and their families), the loss of basic rights are overwhelming.

See, Karen, it wouldn’t be so bad if ONLY they had a hearing in front of a competent court, along with periodic reviews. All the laws are passed by legislative fiat and can’t be challenged.

I am not trying to flatter you, Karen. The rights and even lives of millions of Americans are at stake. You don’t see it because you think you are civilized. You want the most thoughtful, middle-ground argument, about a guy who had the audacity to be a part of the community and is paying for it by being cut off from it. But don’t worry about it, Karen. In some States that conduct IS a felony (talking to people).

It might have helped if you had SOMETHING other than your little observations.

Your registry fails: Legally, Morally, Philosophically and in regards to religion.

There are MUCH smarter ways to deal with dangerous people. Exiling whole groups to get a few will never work, no matter how thoughtful you want to be.

Karen Spears Zacharias

What do you see as a viable and better solution?

Rudy101

It isn’t complicated. What gets a person into prison, other than a crime?

First they are arrested, charged, given a lawyer, allowed to contest the evidence and have a defense. Even serial killers get that.

How does a person get committed to a mental hospital? They are determined a threat to themselves or others under a standard of proof that can be challenged, and has reviews to it.

How should a sex offender be regulated? First something has to be established. Is he dangerous? (that is separate from establishing guilt). If that can be established, the next step would be, HOW can society AND this person reduce this person’s dangerousness?

Remember, there are some different rules for when a person IS under a lawful sentence AND a person who discharges their sentence. These rules, (like no ex-post facto laws) are taken from the U.S. Constitution and are foundations of most of the countries of the world.

Karen, the solution is as old as the U.S. and everyone is blind to it.

Why? Because it was so easy to put 120,000 Japanese into jail without so much as a word.

Due process of law means just that! It is a demand; not a request. It is a RIGHT; not a privilege.

I have not added anything to my argument that isn’t over 200 years old. It is called, due process, under an adversarial system.

Ultimately, Karen, the issue is legal. The world has changed. WWII changed everything. Society isn’t free anymore to pass “social laws” on groups of people without courtrooms. The reasons are obvious and runs into 100′s of millions.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Did you answer the question?

Rudy101

Yes, I did answer the question, Karen. As the question was, “what is a viable and better solution.”

You don’t like the answer? Too bad. It’s the only answer there is.

Giving complete control over a registry like this to a legislature is certainly NOT the answer. In fact, it is illegal.

See, as with the “separate but equal” doctrine, the idea that there can be even a debate and those affected by the doctrine must sit and listen to others to determine their status in the community is BUNK. Do you understand, Karen? You have already lost the registry because at its heart, it has no credibility SOLELY because of how a person is placed on a registry and that no independent panel decides who goes on a registry.
EJ

Hi Rudy101,
I’m not sure that I understand what you are advocating in place of a registry. Could you expand on the steps that you feel society should take address sex offenders?

Scott

I think it’s always a good idea to be careful, however I don’t know anything about his specific issues or what he did, so I can’t say as to whether he’s been reformed or is still some sort of a threat. There was one guy in a chat room a few years ago who threatened a number of people, and I was not only shocked but considered reporting him to the authorities, although I didn’t know how to do it. Anyway, at the first sign of some person getting out of line, then I would report that person but maybe that guy is sincerely trying to change. But there’s no way for anyone to know for sure.
http://larryshallenberger.com Larry Shallenberger

I’m a pastor and a former mental health caseworker who worked with kids and adolescents. Although the Christian meta-narrative biases toward redemption and restoration, research shows that once a pattern of abusive behavior is established, the recidivism rate is very high.

When an abuser positions him- or herself near a population of potential victims the most loving thing to do is prevent that person from having the opportunity to offend again. Forgiveness does not require trust.Some things are never worth the gamble.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Good word, Larry.
Truth Seeker

Thank you Larry!! I agree it is the loving thing to do!
http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

Studies have consistently shown s*x offenders have the lowest rate of recidivism, treatment lowers recidivism even more.

Karen Spears Zacharias

What studies?

http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

Lets see:

California 10 year recidivism study:

10 year recidivism rate: 3.38% (or about one in 33)

US Department of Justice, “Recidivism of S*x Offenders Released into the Community in 1994.”

Three-year follow-up period
9,641 s*x offenders released in 15 states
262,420 non-s*x offenders released in same 15 states in 1994
517 s*x offenders (5.3% of all sex offenders) were arrested for a s*x crime within 3 years
3,228 non-s*x offenders (1.3% of all no-s*x offenders) were arrested for a s*x crime within the same three year
period
3.5% of s*x offenders re-convicted

Ohio 10 year recidivism study:

8% of s*x offenders were recommitted in the 10-year period
3% of s*x offenders committed a sexually-related violation of probation/ parole
Half of recidivists re-offended within two years of release
2/3 of recidivists re-offended within 3 years of release
Treatment found to reduce recidivism (16.7% w/o treatment, 7% w/ treatment)

Michigan parolee study 10 year recidivism: 2.46%

Arizona Dept. of Corrections follow up of SO released from 1984-1998 (up to 12 year follow-up period)

3,205 released SO; 25.2% general recidivism; 5.5% s*x crime; Indecency SO recidivists, 9.3%; Rapists, 5.9%; s*x
abuse 5%; s*x conduct with minor, 3.5%

Alaska three year recidivism study (2007)

SO specific recidivism rate, 3%; SO arrested for any crime (gen. recid.) 39%; All criminals general recidivism, 60%.
Factors correlated with higher recidivism: Youth, substance abuse, mental illness, poor

I suppose our fine government also has an agenda huh?

Karen Spears Zacharias

No but let’s be clear about these stats. Sex abuse is recognized, even by the studies you’ve quoted, as one of the most under-reported crimes, contributing to this “low” recidivism rate. It’s estimated that only 30 percent of sex abuses cases are ever reported. That number is even higher when you are talking about rape. And higher yet when you consider that very young children often lack the skills necessary to report crimes. Add to that the high percentage that most children are sexually abused by someone they know, and trust, and the numbers get even more hinky.

Toss into the mix the number of arrests that don’t turn into convictions and the numbers aren’t as clear cut at they might seem. In fact, sex offenders who target children have a much higher rate of reoffending, as explained in the fine print of the same studies you’ve cited.

Faith In ONE

Or…they have just gotten very good at not getting caught

http://www.oncefallen.com/ oncefallendotcom

Under-reporting myth is just that, a myth.

http://larryshallenberger.com Larry Shallenberger

That’s simply not accurate.

In the same manner that you keep alcoholics out of a bar, you keep pedophiles out of the kids’ wing and don’t allow them to volunteer will minors.

(Now it’s a different story with juvenile sex offenders. If they are caught early, therapy has proven effective.)

http://www.rickyslife.com Sheeple Herder

Part 1.

Hello: I am positive this will be (censored) and never appear but I feel the need to vent.

I figured I would “step up” and admit that I was once a registered sex offender myself.

When I was in my early thirties I had a “one time” liaison with a teenaged girl. I realize this may not pack the kind of”shock value” Nancy Grace delivers but try to bear with me.

What I did was wrong, and was the most selfish thing I have ever done in my life but your blog fills me with a real sense of vindication and I thank you for that.

Unlike many who turn to Christ or other religion’s for understanding and redemption in times of great despair or pain. I clearly saw (and this blog outright proves)that the overwhelming majority of Christians are hypocrites.

You go once a week and pray for forgiveness to a god and a bible that claims “all can be redeemed” and forgiven and that “Thou shalt not judge” as WE ALL FALL SHORT IN THE EYES OF GOD.

Yet here you are, in all your glaring bigotry Ignorance and hate (so typical) like the Witch hunters of old banning this man from your blog.

Yes, it’s true, that a very VERY small amount of people are a danger to children, yet, unbeknownst to readers of this blog, we now have a registry where an 18 yo teen, who has a 15 yo girlfriend, gets tried and convicted and his picture is listed right there next to some sick animal that might have raped a 5 yo in most cases, he is listed FOR LIFE.

These are America’s “Sex Offenders” they do not crawl up from the “nether regions” or arrive here from another planet,they are your fathers, Uncles, sons and sometimes daughters.

So you are the shepherds that carry the Words and Feelings of Jesus Christ?

Using this blog as an intelligence gauge? I guess all is well because even though government can’t find it’s a$$ with both hands dealing with any other problem you are all perfectly willing to trust them to make intelligent decisions when it comes to the safety of your children.
http://www.rickyslife.com Sheeple Herder

Part 2.

Ya,I can hear it now. You deserve it!!! You lose your rights when you hurt a child!! What if someone did that to your daughter?

Well, someone did. When my daughter was 12 yo my ex wife’s b/f drugged and raped her. When he was confronted by police (after it happened to another girl) he said go arrest her father he is a sex offender.

That delayed proceedings for a year but he was eventually sent to prison for the other rape. Was Jesus punishing me for my evil actions? How did this wonderful “tool” for parents (the registry) fail to protect my daughter?

You all so eagerly gulp down the lies.

“Larry Shallenberger says:
August 17, 2011 at 12:43 am

I’m a pastor and a former mental health caseworker who worked with kids and adolescents. Although the Christian meta-narrative biases toward redemption and restoration, research shows that once a pattern of abusive behavior is established, the recidivism rate is very high.

When an abuser positions him- or herself near a population of potential victims the most loving thing to do is prevent that person from having the opportunity to offend again. Forgiveness does not require trust.Some things are never worth the gamble.”

Some things are never worth that gamble? Is that what Jesus said when they wanted to stone Mary Magdalen to death? (Under Louisiana law Prostitutes are required to register as sex offenders)

Sheeple Herder

Well the spam controls prevent me from listing the other 2 parts of my comment but a tight control on improper thoughts or opinions would seem to fit…Thanks S.H.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Sheeple:

I am sorry for what happened to your daughter. I hope she has a good support system in place and people in her life who pray faithfully for her.

Sheeple Herder

Part 3.

Now I hate to be the “buzz kill” at a good old fashioned witch hunt and of course you would not want some repeat s@x offender that has hurt young children to work in the nursery or be in a position to offend again BUT YOU LUMP EVERYONE INTO THE SAME GROUP based only on that increasingly generic term “s@x offender”

Do I really have to post the 10,000 links out there about Religion and the sexual abuse of children?

Dr. Larry? Would you mind posting all of this vast evidence that only you and the media seem to have access to regarding s@x offender High recidivism rates?

Over the past 5 years I have kept tabs on every single State and Federal study done on this subject and the conclusions are ALL THE SAME. S@x offenders have the second lowest re offense rate among all criminals only Murderers score lower.

Shocking? Untrue? I challenge anyone here to go do the research and prove me wrong. I am stunned at just how gullible our culture has become.

The Christian clergy have been the perpetrators of so many cases that involved the s@xual abuse of children yet the very teachings of your own savior are tossed aside as YOU judge and condemn the “sinner”.

I paid ALOT for what I did and I paid ENOUGH not to mention my family and a few friends that had nothing to do with it.

Pardon the pun but “Thank God” I did not succumb to whatever deity the people of this blog worship. Good luck spreading Christ’s “Love and Forgiveness” on the internet.

Karen Spears Zacharias

The journalist in me finds that quote: “only murderers score lower” disturbingly funny.

Can we all sigh a collective “Thank God for that”?

Sheeple Herder

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/08/24/son-sam-david-berkowitz-wont-seek-parole-in-2012/

Journalist? Like Nancy Grace is a “Journalist”? Yes Karen no worries. If Dave here would be paroled what registry would he be on?

EXCLUSIVE: ‘Son of Sam’ Serial Killer David Berkowitz Says He Won’t Seek Parole in 2012

convicted serial killer David Berkowitz — who terrorized New York in the late 1970s, killing six people and wounding seven — will not seek parole during his next opportunity in May, Berkowitz told FoxNews.com exclusively.

In a two-page letter to FoxNews.com, Berkowitz, also known as “Son of Sam,” said he has “no interest” in parole thanks to forgiveness by Jesus Christ. Berkowitz, 58, has previously been denied parole five times.

“I have no interest in parole and no plans to seek release,” Berkowitz wrote FoxNews.com in an Aug. 6 letter. “If you could understand this, I am already a ‘free man.’ I am not saying this jokingly. I really am. Jesus Christ has already forgiven and pardoned me, and I believe this.”

David Berkowitz interview

Feb. 22, 1979: David Berkowitz, known as “Son of Sam,” is shown during an interview at Attica Prison in New York.

Click here to read Berkowitz’s letter.

Berkowitz, who killed six people and wounded seven others in 1976-77, was dubbed the “Son of Sam” after a note left at a crime scene read: “I am a monster. I am the Son of Sam.” After intense manhunts and widespread public panic throughout New York, he was arrested in 1977.

New York legislators later passed the so-called “Son of Sam” law, which bars criminals from profiting from their crimes by selling their stories to publishers.

He is currently serving six sentences of 25 years to life at the Sullivan Correctional Facility in Fallsburg, N.Y., where he has been incarcerated for 34 years.

Carole Weaver, a spokeswoman for the New York State Division of Parole, said Berkowitz has been a model inmate with just one minor infraction on his disciplinary record from 2004. Details of that incident were not immediately available.

Berkowitz’s claim, however, that he never plans to seek freedom is “unusual” among inmates, she said.

“Not many people who are incarcerated don’t want to get out,” Weaver told FoxNews.com.

Berkowitz told FoxNews.com he has been housed in the prison’s general population for roughly 23 years and he currently works as a “mobility guide” for legally blind inmates, as well as an “inmate program aid” [sic] for mentally challenged prisoners.

“I also help out in the facility’s chapel, where I assist in overseeing our Sunday services plus other services and Bible studies,” Berkowitz wrote FoxNews.com. “My main activities are sharing my story of redemption and hope with those on the outside, as well as writing a monthly journal which can be viewed at Ariseandshine.org.”

Berkowitz said he reads the Bible daily and needs to devote more time to exercising regularly.

“I’m a hyperactive, always ‘on the go’ type person,” the letter continues. “But I’ve often been told that I do not take enough time for myself.”

Berkowitz — who shot his victims with a .44-caliber handgun, usually as they sat in cars — said he has no problems with other inmates and has “made the best” of his time behind bars, thanks in part to his devotion to Jesus Christ.

“He has given me a whole new life, which I do not deserve,” he wrote. “And while society will never forgive me, God has. I am forever grateful for such forgiveness, too.”

He also told FoxNews.com he has “deep regret and sorrow over my past criminal actions.”

“I would do anything if I could go back and change things [to] have prevented the tragedy from happening. Of course this is not possible,” he said.

http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.com/p/recidivism-studies.html Andrew Danger

I don’t know where you get your sources but…
“the recidivism rate is very high.”

NO it’s NOT…

the DOJ study, where the average recidivism of s*x offenders committing new sex crimes since 1983 is approximately 9%, compared to the 42% average recidivism rate for all felony offenders committing any new felony offense.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_offender

* Released prisoners with the highest rearrest rates were robbers (70.2%), burglars (74.0%), larcenists (74.6%), motor vehicle thieves (78.8%), those in prison for possessing or selling stolen property (77.4%), and those in prison for possessing, using, or selling illegal weapons (70.2%).
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recidivism

and
s*x offenders have the second LOWEST recidivism rate of all criminals, except murderers. See the RECIDIVISM link below for studies. Sex offender, child molester, pedophile and predator are not all one and the same, so stop spreading lies that sex offenders are child molesting, pedophile predators who want to abuse and/or kill your kids, it’s just pure disinformation.

STOP SPREADING that “the recidivism rate is very high.”

Karen Spears Zacharias

Andrew: Do you think perhaps the DOJ might not be the most objective source of information for recidivism rates?

Sheeple Herder

Karen? You can’t have it both ways. You cannot pontificate about how valuable and reliable the GOVERNMENT registry is then “POO POO” That same GOVERNMENT’S own statistics.Not the most objective? Yes I agree however where is the incentive to duke the numbers LOWER?

Politicians from the president on down rely on these useless laws for re election soundbites shouldn’t they be dukeing the stats to make it appear that there are more s@x crimes?

What kind of Journalism is that?

http://www.johilder.com Jo Hilder

I don’t think any of us who don’t know this person in person can really make any judgements on what he is like, whether he is rehabilitated or why he chose not to register. I am still considering what I’m going to do about this myself, because whilst this person cannot do me or my family any physical harm, social networking is a new medium and users are still working out ways it can be used and abused.
I’d like to hear from this person as to why he chose not to register, because of the clear signal this sends out to the general community regarding accountability. I am tempted to cast aspersions his way because he did not register, but I know little about the US register (I’m Australian and in Australia) and so can’t really appreciate what implications this has for the individuals who are obliged to go on it.
I’m also trying to put myself in his shoes. How would I expect people to behave if they found out this information about me? I can appreciate why he has worded his Twitter profile as he has. I agree with former comments that point out if he was trying to explicitly deceive people, he was under no obligation to reveal anything about his past at all, yet he has hinted that he has one.
Has anyone actually confronted this person with these accusations and explained the ramifications we are discussing?
I think I will do so.

http://www.moonchild11.wordpress.com moonchild11

Thank you for being willing to do that. It’s a tough situation, and I admit I have my biases on the issue due to my past experiences. I know our sex registry system is flawed, though, and I do believe people can change. Trying to show grace toward others and stay safe is a tough line to walk- especially on the internet

Karen Spears Zacharias

I will just reiterate to you and to Jo, that I have not revealed all that I was told here. There is more to this story.

http://www.johilder.com Jo Hilder

Pardon my frankness Karen, but is your source 100% reliable? I do not mean to infer you would act on information that was less than credible, please do not think this. I guess I want to be absolutely sure any action I take is warranted, and not based on hearsay or inaccuracies.

Karen Spears Zacharias

The information provided here is a matter of public record. Information provided to me that was not a matter of public record or not verifiable has not been shared here.

Faith In ONE

Ok so I have been a part of a church that has had two registered sex offenders as part of it’s congregation. The following will give you a very clear picture as to how each handled themselves in coming in.
1. Gentlemen #1 came in, met with the pastor and revealed the truth. He then asked for someone to be accountable to at the church when he was onsite. He was willing to be escorted to the restroom as to not make anyone uncomfortable. He chose to serve in capacities that did not put him in close proximity to children and when people looked him up on the registry and found out about him, he made himself available to the pastor to meet with them and answer any questions. He was a humble, broken and contrite man.
Offender #2 came to the church, aligned himself with church staff creating a perceived bond so that no one would question trusting him. Wasn’t forth right with the staff, even went to a staff birthday party where many children were present when his parole/probation said he was not allowed around children. When his offenses were discovered. He played it down, even to the point of acting like it was nothing, all blown out of proportion. The Pastor had no choice but to report him as breaking his probation. He was arrested and sent back to jail.
These two men gave me a view of what God is looking for, humility, brokeness, honesty vs deception, no accountability, and arrogance. Forgiveness is a gift from God and we have to recognize our need for it and repent, do a 180 degree turn from our sin. It sounds to me from reading the blog, that the offender we are talking about has not come to a place of repentance. If he had, he wouldn’t be re-victimizing his victims. Just my thoughts…

Karen Spears Zacharias

These are great examples. Thank you for sharing them with us. Our churches are burdened with so much these days. Our pastors and leadership need our faithful prayers.

anothen

Greetings;

First of all, I am a Registered S*x Offender. I
have been on the registry for fifteen years.

I am also Christian and have experience in serious
Biblical Research and Practice.

I no longer participate in any Christian Group
anymore primarily because of the registry status.
I have deliberately avoided being around children
or victims; not because I would ever consider to
harm anyone or re-offend, but because of the
fear that develops in some people that become
aware that someone is a Registered S*x Offender.

I will not support or defend the RSO (Registered
S*x Offender) who had his posts deleted because
this Blog belongs to the Author of it and has the
power and the right to do so. If it had been mine,
I probably would have done the same. The fella
has no excuse for not being in compliance or
attempting to stealth his status (if that was
his intentions).

The author is correct about grooming. The first
thing a S*xual Abuser will do is to gain trust,
even if it takes years. However, not all RSO’s
are S*xual Abusers and nor should we as society
diminish the fact that only those on the registry
are a threat. Everyone should be cautious with
their lives, their safety and their children.
The world itself is not safe, nor is society.
Certain places in Africa they do not let their
children play outside after dark because of the
animal predators. Society is not safe because
some people decide to live evil.

However, as a Christian, with a view to live
according to the Bible; Fear is detrimental
to Spiritual Growth. If our motivation is
out of fear, we become slaves to the evil. Evil
will always attempt to enslave by using fear.
In Contrast; Love (Agape, Agapao) will always
overcome fear. Scripturally, “.. perfect love
casts out fear ..” . (not to be confused with
human or natural love) Spiritual love is clearly
defined in the Bible and when it is practiced
and developed will absolutely remove fear.

Does this mean we should trust everyone?
That is the risk we must take if we intend to
live in a civilized society. If I burn myself
on the stove, I become careful the next time.
I will trust someone until they do something
to ruin that trust, and it will take extra effort
for that trust to become re-established.

How can we tell the genuine from the counterfeit?
Those of us who are Christian and have at least
some Biblical background can remember the tragedy
that occurred about man’s fall in the Garden of
Eden. I laugh many times because people seem to
want to argue about what was the fruit, what was the
tree, what was the original sin, and so on; and
they miss the wisdom of why and how. First of all
it was not a “snake” it was “The Serpent”. The word
“Serpent” is translated from “Nachash” and translated
as Snake many times. However, when it is used
in reference as Satan, or the Devil, it is a
Figure of Speech. The name implies characteristics
of a snake. A snake uses stealth to sneak up
on prey. Also “Nachash” has also been defined
as a shining one, like brass or copper. This also
defines The Serpent as mis-representing, or
a counterfeit being. To Eve, it must have been
beautiful in appearance. This tells us as
Christians that not everything that appears
genuine is genuine.

Determine the real enemy.
Society always seems to find a way to fight among
themselves. It is embarrassing to see Christians
fight among themselves, but it has occurred for
centuries.

…
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil,
as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
-the Bible (ref 1pet5:8)
…

As Christians we should be aware of who the real enemy is.
The two words “Sober” and “Vigilant” means to be alert,
cautious, calm and collected. As Christians, our enemy
is not the RSO’s, or people or society, our enemy is a
spiritual being that is bent on deception. That
deception may come through a person, or people
however my challenge to you is to recognize the source
of the deception. Love the person, but recognize and
hate the evil.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Powerful testament here. Thank you.

http://www.lauraziesel.com Laura Ziesel

Gosh, reading all of the new comments just makes me sad about the whole situation. I’m so sorry for you, Karen, as I’m sure this is very difficult for you to deal with as a victim. I’m so sorry that we live in a world where this happens. I’m so sorry that abusers are so crafty at building rapport with potential victims. I’m sorry that previous offenders are so hated. The whole thing is so frustrating.

May we be gracious toward one another. Sorry if my earlier comment seemed to be ungracious. Those were simply my first few thoughts.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Laura:
Actually, I think for the most part the discourse has been instructive. As with most issues in life, there are all sorts of nuances to consider. I appreciate that so many have felt comfortable enough to speak out, either from a point of being abused or abusing.
We are all wounded people.
We all need grace.
We all need to be more graceful.
Life is messy.
So is redemption.

Belovedson

I threatened to report my sister in law when I had good reason to suspect she was abusing her children. She retaliated by going to the police and claiming my son r^ped her daughter. He was only 14.

Much to my horror, the police believed her. Our church congregation supported my son’s innocence throughout the nightmare ordeal. He was ordered by the court not to attend church after dozens of members wrote letters on his behalf. They said it “aided in his denial”.

I learned there is no justice in the justice system – not even for an innocent kid. My son was given a choice of a plea for something he didn’t do – or prison for 6 years.

My family has lived with our name and address on a registry. Our once friendly neighbors shunned us. My daughter’s fiance broke off the engagement. A “concerned mom” made sure everyone in my 9 year old’s class knew his brother was on a registry. We had to place him in a private school in another town after the teasing became too much for him to deal with.

Adversity brings you closer to God. I read the story of Job, and genuinely felt his pain. I could see Jesus’ head bowed, and hear his voice saying “he who is without sin…”

Saying “I was abused” does not make it alright to become an abuser. I turned away from God and church for many years.

Now we have Priests and ministers accused – rightly and falsely. False accusations are one of the oldest stories in the book – Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. Pastor Roberson of Wenatchee, WA was jailed over a year, the government tried to adopt out his child after he defended members of his congregation that, just as he said, were falsely accused.

…try not to become abusers or victimizers in your haste to judge those we have been told to judge not.
Lynn Gilmore

Have any of you considered for one moment that the man MIGHT actually be truly remourseful for his crime? Do you know what he REALLY did or did you just read his registry listing? Did you know that consensual relations with a sexually active minor will read as “sexual assault” of a child, even if the “victrim” is just a boyfriend or girlfriend, and the age difference between the two is just a few years? Did you know that the registry listings do not state when the crime took place, and that if you are looking at a photo of a 35 year old, you may not realize that they committed their crime when they were 18 years old? Did you also know that trivial crimes like teens streaking, mooning, “sexting” with one another can land them on the public registry for life? Did you know that even urinating behind a bush on the side of a deserted road can result in a charge that includes a registry listing?

Did you know that “failure to register” might simply mean that he failed to notify the local law enforcement that he was just going out of town for the weekend or perhaps he was simply not sent his registration form? Maybe his car broke down and he couldn’t get a ride. Perhaps he could not afford the registration fee.

I would suggest not to make assumptions about the former offender and even TALKING with him, and giving him a chance to tell his side of his story. If you are openminded, you may find that his crime might have occurred 25 years ago, and now he might be married with a family and that he is genuinely not a threat to society at all – just like 95% of ALL registered offernders who are on the registry. You will likely discover that media hype and lawmakers have done nothing but lie to you to instill fear in the name of increasing ratings and obtaining votes. You might be surprised if you do your own research regarding sex offender legislation.

It is indeed interesting that one of your books is titled “How Fear Erodes Our Faith.”

Karen Spears Zacharias

Lynn: Seems that the person making all the assumptions here is you. You might actually want to read the post and not just the comments. And you might want to read the book before you pretend to know something about it, which you clearly don’t.

http://www.johilder.com Jo Hilder

Karen, I think you’ve demonstrated not only great courage, but great tact and gentleness with this whole matter. Thanks for bringing it up, that took guts. Thanks for handling it so well, that took grace. Gotta admire a woman who has both of those and knows when to apply them.
Thank you,
JO
Sheeple Herder

I love the picture at the top of the blog Karen looks just like me. Hey, I ran across this story this morning (like most days) and there is yet another story of clergy s@x abuse.

Just wondering how you would “rate” a person like this? Beyond redemption? Limited redemption? Did Jesus Christ sacrifice himself for sin’s like this, or are they just to heinousness? Where does this “gray area” begin?

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/127882498.html

Pastor sentenced to 41 months for s@x crimes involving sixth grader

PORT ORCHARD, Wash. — A pastor who pleaded guilty to s@x charges in a case involving a young student at a Christian school was sentenced to over three years in jail Tuesday.

Prosecutors say the 41-month sentence for Dirk Jackson was at the high end of the standard rage.

Jackson’s victim is now 21, but she said she was molested by him when she was 12. At the time, she was a sixth grader and one of Jackson’s students at Manchester Christian Academy.

Now a woman, she said no one believed her back then and she kept the s@xual contact secret for all these years. But when she recently saw Jackson at a different church, she says she feared he had access to other young potential victims and reported her allegations to the sheriff’s office.

Jackson originally pleaded not guilty to two counts of child rape, but on July 6, he accepted a plea deal from the prosecutor and pleaded guilty to two counts of indecent liberties.

After his prison time is completed, he’ll have to undergo heavily-monitored community custody for an additional three years and register as a s@x offender.
Share this story

Karen Spears Zacharias

Nobody is trying to “rate” anybody. And no one has suggested their is limited redemption. What we are struggling with here is how should we then live? Should we have boundaries? If so, what should those boundaries be? How do we live out the love of Christ in a broken world, among broken people? What does that really look like?

http://www.mamapundit.com katie allison granju

I wanted to let you know that I blogged about your experience today. Thank you so much for reminding all of us online that adults need to be careful about internet safety just like kids do:

http://mamapundit.com/2011/08/sex-offender-targeting-christian-women-bloggers/

-Katie
Knoxville, TN

Karen Spears Zacharias

Thanks, Katie. Hopped over to your site and read it and the comments. Appreciate you sharing the link with us.

Cathy

Few solutions in this world are perfect, as this world is not Nirvana.

When we error, we must error on the side of protecting those who are not yet capable of protecting themselves.

Any civilized and moral adult, regardless of their background or history, would agree.
Dave

I’m sure Jesus would have ostracized sex-offenders too, right?
Cathy

Okay, a few more of my thoughts.

The main issue with past offenders is repentance – do they truly display it? As with the Supreme Court definition of pornography…you often know repentance (or sense it) when you see it.

One of the best example of true repentance (as it appears to me) is Charles “Tex” Watson, who was Charles Manson’s primary killer in Tate/LaBianca. He now runs a ministry (from prison)…on his website are many details of his view of his crimes, and his thoughts on forgiveness. (And understand: I am not equating molestation with murderous butchery. I am merely pointing out what seems to be an attitude of true remorse…an attitude which has even convinced the LaBianca’s daughter, who has forgiven Watson and advocated on his behalf.)

Here is a link to one page – in particular, I would point out the last 10 or so questions on this page.
http://www.aboundinglove.org/sensational/mrhmso/mrhmso-009.php

From the things I’ve read, Watson gives explanations but makes no excuses for his actions. He doesn’t blame anyone else (even Manson) for his actions. He doesn’t demand forgiveness or restoration.

Watson got to a place where no one was more horrified by his crimes than he was. While he was dealing with guilt and remorse, on at least one occasion (1993) he waived his parole hearing, stating that he was “unsuitable for parole” – and this was 18 years after he became a Christian, and 23 years after his incarceration. (Note that he did NOT (and does not) argue that since he had apologized and repented, he should be restored and released from the consequences of his crimes, and that anyone who didn’t agree was just being mean-spirited and punitive.)

In a 1994 letter to Vincent Bugliosi, the prosecuting attorney and author of “Helter Skelter” (a letter which Bugliosi solicited), Watson wrote these words:

“With my deepest remorse, I apologize to the people of the world for my part in making Manson what he has become. To the many victims, my heart is full of sorrow for my actions…If anyone should have received the death penalty for their crimes, it was me. I believe that God and his grace gave me a second chance, having a different plan for my life…I have no great ambitions, other than allowing the Lord to use me as a testimony, urging others to Christ.”

That last line particularly strikes me.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Interesting choice, Cathy. I happen to be friends with a gal whose sister was a Manson follower. A girl who was at the ranch when the murders took place, tho, she did not play a direct part in the killings herself. In fact, I once wrote a story about the murders and how they affected my friend — for 13 years she didn’t tell anyone who her sister was because of the shame and anger she felt over those murders.

Hope

Oncefallen, I came over from another blog so I don’t know the original poster or you. If you are trying to persuade readers here that you are in the right and the she is in the wrong, I will tell you that you have had the quite the opposite effect in my case.
http://www.johilder.com Jo Hilder

Hi Karen,
I sent a message to the person in question here, who replied with a defence to the effect that the issue had been cleared up, and the conviction concerned a one-off incident 27 years ago, for which 7 years of prison were served, and all of this prior to knowledge of Christ. He said that the recent issue concerning registration in his current state of residence was questionable because other states would not have required he register, and the state concerned was considering amending their obligation for out-of-state offenders to re-register in their state.
While I do not question your own integrity Karen, I do not have available to me information that is off public record, and I have done my own search around and have found probably what anyone with access to the internet can about his particular case. In light of the fact I do not have and cannot verify the information you have received that is off the public record, I have decided to proceed with caution yet continue with grace.
Jo

Karen Spears Zacharias

Jo:
I applaud your approach. One question, tho, as long as we are talking about it, what evidence did he provide that this was a one-time incident involving a child under the age of 10?

http://Www.johilder.com Jo Hilder

He did not offer to provide any, and I am at a loss to know how I would either confirm or dispel this. He has given me his email address and I am wondering how far I ought to pursue this. Any advice?

Karen Spears Zacharias

Well, see that’s the trouble, isn’t it? That’s why it’s best to stick to matters of public record. Sure, you could go to his town, look through the court files, go back to every place he’s ever lived and search through those court files. But then, let’s say you pull the court file on the domestic abuse call from last year. It’s going to contain conversations that the police officer had with him and his then wife. Hard to know, even with the document, whose story is “truth.”
And as is often the case with sex offenders who target children — I believe his victim was around 8-years of age — they move around a lot. From state to state. From county to county. Harder to keep up with the paper trail that way. I’ve reported on child murders that should have never happened but whenever a teacher or a concerned citizen filed a report with Children Services, the man would uproot the family and move to a new county, one who didn’t know about the history of abuse. School records take some time to transfer. Court records often take longer.
So, in other words, Jo, all you have to go on at this point, is the word of a man you do not personally know. A man you want to show grace to but exactly what does that mean?
See how difficult it is for those of us who are skilled at discernment to figure this all out?
Imagine how easy it is then for young girls to be caught up in what appears to be a harmless online relationship? And how easy it would be to manipulate a compassionate boy or girl, someone who has been taught to be kind to all people, because that’s what Jesus would do?

Tiggerinma

I was pleased to watch the transition that occurred as this string continued, and to watch as your own opinions seemed to accept the truth that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We are all sinners and are only saved by the grace of God through the price paid for all through the sacrifice made by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

After the initial leap of faith to believe, the process of sanctification begins. The Holy Spirit begins the work of making us more and more like Himself. Forgiveness for others, however is the key requirement to being able to receive forgiveness for oneself.

I think that while discernment is given for us to know the difference between truth, repentance, and the deception that others may use to take advantage of those of us who strive to take people at their word; I believe that we are still obligated to at least give the benefit of the doubt to those we encounter on line, right up until they prove themselves not to be what they said they are.

The chance of becoming abused over the internet is very slim but does happen to those who allow themselves to be misled and persuaded into meeting in-person.

I truly believe that a more Christian approach would have been for you to contact this person through a conference phone call set up with you, by his senior pastor at his church.

To have simply judged this registered sex offender’s risk to your blog by only knowing his label showed a lack of willingness to share in our Lord’s forgiveness which is linked directly to your own abuse and has the ability to finally free you from the hole of victim-hood that it sounds like you still live under.

Yes, I too was a sexual victim years ago. I am also a registered former sex offender, but most important of all, I am a Christian, an adopted child of God, forgiven of my sin, and saved by His grace.

In His service,
Tiggerinma

Karen Spears Zacharias

I appreciate your thoughts about what the “more Christian” thing to do would be … whatever in the world that means.

Does writing about God make me “a more Christian writer”?

http://blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2009/03/karen_swallow_prior.html Karen Swallow Prior

I’ve not read all the comments, so forgive me if this is a repeat, but someone who is NOT a registered sex offender could be just as dangerous as someone who is. The caution we must exercise in the everyday “real” world must be exercised times ten in the virtual world where nearly everyone is a stranger, sex offender or no.

Karen Spears Zacharias

True that. Thanks.

http://www.wordsarenotenough.com Joe Kennedy

Karen,

This is your blog, and you get to do what you want here, just as you would if you were sitting in Starbucks. I support your decision completely.

Karen Spears Zacharias

Did you say something about Starbucks? Did I hear Starbucks?

MatthewS

To a predator, a naive church looks like a big school of hungry fish. A bunch of prey just waiting to be reeled in.

The challenge for a grace-filled community is knowing how to wisely walk with someone who committed gross sin in the past (who may have once been a victim himself) but who truly has repented. It is a bad thing to provide easy access to someone who is just playing games but if someone truly is changing, it seems commendable for a church to seek to be a place of redemption, if the church as a whole is informed and is on board with it.

Karen, are there any resources you suggest to churches or pastors for knowing how to redemptively and wisely engage with these kind of cases?

Karen Spears Zacharias

Wow. Great question, Matt. I do think a couple of people have given some excellent wisdom in the discussion here that could be used. I don’t have the answers but I will certainly ask the question.

http://www.cglorioso.blogspot.com/ Callie

This is a very, very difficult issue. No one takes the issue lightly, and that is clear from the storm of comments this post as inspired. I am still young, so I might not be correct on all of these point, but I had a few thoughts to share.

As many others out there, I care strongly about the issue of preventing s*xual abuse in churches (especially when it is done against children). I have had close friends and family members who have been abused by people within the church. That never should have happened. That never should happen again. I’ve seen how sexual abuse can devastate an individual’s life. I don’t say this flippantly, but JESUS ALONE can bring healing from sexual abuse.

I have been teaching children for over five years in churches and ministries. I also graduated with a degree in Applied Psychology with the intent of working with abused children. I feel SO strongly about protecting children and setting boundaries (specifically within children’s ministries). This is an easy and practical way to care for “the least of these” in our lives. Set boundaries to guard against abuse. I have personally decided that I will not attend or join a church that does not screen their children’s workers and does not have policies in place to protect children.

Let me say also that while I have a passion for working with cases of abuse and fighting for justice for them, I care just as deeply that the label of “sex offender” not be placed on someone who is innocent. It is a grievous label to carry around for the rest of your life.

BUT…if an abuser (even one who has repented and changed) is in your midst, you simply must warn and protect others. Might this be difficult for them? Yes. But it is not worth the risk to countless others to make one person feel better. Christ can change lives…but our sin nature is still there. Would we encourage a former alcoholic to become a bartender? This does not mean that we shun and ostracize former abusers. But it does mean that we are as shrewd as serpents.

Churches absolutely must set boundaries and safe guards to protect those at risk.

This will never be a clear-cut issue. It simply won’t. As others have eluded, sometimes the label of “sex offender” is given to someone who may have simply made a mistake or may have been wrongly accused. However, just because an issue is difficult, we are not excused from working it out properly.
lonnie

Hi,

My wife and I have been married for 35 years and in January of 2011 sent our last of six children out into the world. My wife began to suffer empty nest, so I bought her her first laptop. For 3 or more months she was abused by an individual that sat on a seat of directors at an organization that helps people overcome painful experiences, a ministry called H.O.P.E. My wife said she felt like she was on an emotional high all the time, he always knew what to say and when to say it, he at times kept her on the phone, or computer, emailing, or even skyping for up to 8 hours 7 days a week. He had my beautiful wife stripping for him via skype while he would shave or masturbate. He had her so screwed up that she began to act like this individual. I found some of his and her writings, which she was supposed to delete, but failed to. He convinced my wife that I did not love her. in short he had watched my wife chat in an open forum on a game site, where she had mentioned things like no more children, husband works for railroad gone most of the time, basically giving him key information. This creep had a goal of converting my wife into his traveling whore. Things only got more disgusting the longer he abused her. This creep is married, and come to find out he has done it before, however his wife and the ministry turn a blind eye to his deviant behavior, so far they have sweep me under the rug. The ministry actually told me that the only way they could help is for me to purchase a book writen by the ministry for 18.00 dollars, and if I wanted I could tear out the pages that the predetor wrote, so as not to hurt so much when I see his name.

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