David Hasselhoff regrets his divorces.
Describing himself as “deeply romantic,” the handsome star of Baywatch and Knight Rider claims that he’s always wanted to be with one person all his life.
You don’t say!?
See, I’m not a big fan of the Entertainment channel; but I seem to recall that Hasselhoff has had quite a few personal “issues” which might make marital bliss a near impossibility. First married to Catherine Hickland in the 1980s, Hasselhoff left that marriage after five years and married Pamela Bach, with whom he had two children.
His personal life—during the two marriages and in the ensuing years—has been marred by infidelity, addiction, drunken rage, and custody disputes. He has submitted to treatment for alcoholism, but was subsequently hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. He was captured on film, lying in a drunken stupor on a hotel room floor, in a widely-circulated videotape produced by his own daughter. Oh, oh, and one particularly poignant quote from the star himself: “There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.”
In all, Hasselhoff doesn’t seem like the kind of guy a self-respecting woman would chain herself to for life. It sounds, in fact, like what he really wants is not a real live woman with whom to build a life of hopes and dreams. What Hasselhoff misses, actually, is a kind of vassal—a woman who loves him unconditionally, who boosts his flagging ego, and who asks nothing in return.
To which I—and most of the women of the world—say, “Yeah, right!”
Do you remember K.I.T.T., Hasselhoff’s indestructible talking car from his “Knight Rider” days? K.I.T.T. was kind of a Lone Ranger/Tonto combo, offering free advice for the beefy star. Maybe K.I.T.T. could give him a talking-to, suggesting that he clean up his act, get some personal counseling to address those burning ego issues, face up to his mortality and turn to God, and Be All That He Could Be.