President Trump Blames Nazis And Poland For War

POLAND

It’s springtime for Hitler and the alt-Right.

September 1st, 1939

In the early hours of this late summer day, the President of the United States of America Donald J’ Trump took to the radio to communicate his outrage at the German-Poland hostilities.

“We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence, on many sides. On many sides. It’s been going on for a long time in our country. Not Donald Trump, not President Wilson. This has been going on for a long, long time.”

With Nazi tanks are rolling into his country, Prime Minister Canard of Poland took some time out to comment on President Trump’s analysis of the situation. He issued this statement to the press:

Dear President Trump, Nazis invaded my country. The only thing the citizens of Poland are guilty of are being stuck in one of the shittiest geopolitical locations known to man. Christ, the only thing that would make this situation worse are the Russians joining in to destroy proud Poland.

The leader of the gangster state known as the Soviet Union Vladimir “Man of Steel” Putin refused to comment on the conflict. Sources indicate he is busy making sure the war games on the polish border are going as planned.

The Breitbart Times is a long time supporter of the German Chancellor. Article after article offers up praise on the Chancellor’s transformation of the highway system, jaunty death head uniforms, and, of course, his ability to make Germany Great Again.

Breitbart’s lead article today reports nefarious Poles taking over a German owned radio station in the Polish city of Gleiwitz to broadcast anti-Nazi propaganda. Legitimate news sources are skeptical of the story and suspect the Nazi government created the incident to create a pretext for invasion.

Special Prosecutor Bob Mueller already has his hands full exploring President Trump’s connections with Russia and Nazis. When asked whether he will investigate Trump’s newest pro-Nazi sentiments, the Special Prosecutor sighed,“No, nowhere in the Constitution says that the president can’t be a racist douche.”  

 

* President Trump responded to the recent violence in Charlottesville, Virgina with this slice of insight:

“We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence, on many sides. On many sides. It’s been going on for a long time in our country. Not Donald Trump, not Barack Obama. This has been going on for a long, long time.”

 

 


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