Greed is pleasing to the Lord
By Joel Robertson Warren
The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, without painful toil for it. Proverbs 10:22
Hippies, Democrats, and Millenials mired in debt want you to think sleeping on a bed stuffed with 50 dollar bills is a sin. It isn’t. The Lord wants to protect you from the evils of the world. And what greater evil is there than not being able to buy that Samsung Electronics 75-Inch 4K Ultra HD Smart LED TV (2017 Model) you really really want? Here are two benefits of leading a life centered on Godly greed.
Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine. Proverbs 3:9-10
Greed is good because you get to give the church (me) money. The church needs to have a private jet for its earthly shepherd (me). The church must show the world the power of Jesus’ blessings and put a new Rolex every day on its minister (me). Greed is good because God wants you to be greedy for Jesus. Greed is good, and your tithe to the church (me) is tax deductible!
The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms, greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge, has marked the upward surge in mankind and greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much. Gekko 1:1
If not for yourself, then for the United States of America.
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
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