Washington DC – President Trump is getting his military parade next fall, but it will be the Russian army marching down Pennsylvania Avenue.
Anonymous White House officials report they were in the dark on this strange decision by the commander-in-chief. “One minute we’re talking about Scott Baio being the new Secretary of State. The next minute he’s saying he’s going to love watching Vladimir Putin ride in an armored personnel carrier on Veteran’s Day,” stated a source.
Critics of the President are saying it’s a strange coincidence that the military parade and the midterm elections are within days of each other. Election Day is November 6th, and the parade is November 11th. There’s no doubt there will be a significant Russian force in Washington DC if the election results go against Trump.
“We will not tip the political scales in favor of our lackey — I mean your President Trump,” stated Russian General Gregory “Molotov” Kannard. “What are the chances your Democrats can retake the House of Representatives and the Senate? Online Russian trolls will do what is required.”
Many Republican candidates support the Russian presence. The Koch Brothers are billionaires and support a variety of GOP politicians. The Brothers Koch are telling their people to go along with their new Russian overlords. They are expecting the dawn of a new golden age of corruption.
Meanwhile, Democrats are scrambling to come up with a plan to counter the Russian military presence. Governor Jerry Brown of California is considering asking the Chinese military to visit the Golden State. “The Chinese government hates freedom just as much as the Russians. However, the Chinese are far more competent than Putin’s people at running things,” Governor Brown stated.
American religious conservatives are heralding the upcoming Russian takeover of the country. They cite Vladimir Putin’s great record defending Christianity and fighting the Muslim threat. One Trump supporter asked, “How do you say God Bless America in Russian?”
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
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