Today’s Round Earthers Are Bullies

 

*There’s no polite way to say it. Believers of a spherical Earth are the most arrogant, ignorant and dangerous people on earth.

We’ve all seen how these pompous prigs get offended by the slightest bit of flatist imagery in public and mortified if even a whisper of “The Earth is Flat” escapes the lips of some well-meaning but naïve student during Science class.

To cite a few recent examples: Last December, the group American Sphericists launched its annual billboard campaign with the slogan: “The Flat Earth? — It’s Fake News.” In February, the American Oblate Spheroid Association became furious when President Trump had the gall to mention The Flat Earth Gazette and flat Earth believer Jesus Christ without also mentioning sphericisists—at the National Space Exploration Breakfast! (How dare he!) And just this month, the Freedom From Stupid Flat Earth Theory Foundation raised holy hell when the first Flat Earth planetarium opened in Texas.

Yes, these believers in empirical evidence are loud, nasty, unapologetic and in-your-face.

But while their arrogance is annoying, it’s nothing compared to their ignorance. Spherical Earthers believe that the vast majority of human beings from all periods of time and all places on the Earth have been wrong about the thing most important to them. They basically dismiss this vast majority as being either moronic or profoundly naïve. What they don’t seem to know – or won’t admit – is that the greatest contributions to civilization have been made, not by spherisists, but by flatists.

The cave man who discovered fire, authors of the Old Testament, and the rapper B.o.B. all knew our planet is flat.

And speaking of intellectuals , who do you think came up with words in the first place? A bunch of people who believed in pancake-geography! They also came up with words “mother,” “love”, “imbecile” and many other commonly used terms. Essentially, the very language used by us all comes from the brain of a flat Earther.

Yes, these sphericists have an ignorance of history bordering on madness.

But are they really dangerous, too?

You bet they are. The truth is, the round Earth position is incapable of supporting any coherent system of morality other than ruthless social Darwinism. That’s why it has caused more deaths, murders and bloodshed than any other belief system in the history of the world.

Indeed, in the last 100 years alone, upwards of 360 million people were killed by governments—and ALL of those people were killed by governments who refused the biblical revelation that the Earth is flat!

Yes, there is a profound and frightening connection between believing the Earth is spherical and death.  Leaders like Stalin, Mao Zedong, Hideki To ̄jo ̄, Pol Pot and many others bear the blame for the overwhelming majority of deaths caused by war and mass murder in history. And while many round Earthers make the preposterous claim that Adolf Hitler was a flatist, his private diaries, first published in 1953 by Farrar, Straus and Young, reveal clearly that the Fuhrer was a rabid Earth baller: “The heaviest blow that ever struck humanity,” Hitler stated, “was the coming of frisbee-Earths. Bolshevism is round Earthers’ illegitimate child. Both are inventions of the Jew… Our epoch will certainly see the end of the disease of 
the Flat Earth Theory.”

So yes, the modern breed of sphericist is arrogant, ignorant and dangerous. Too many books written in response to these pseudo-intellectual hatemongers have been altogether too nice. Too many Earth-pancakist authors have tried to be kind and amiable in an effort to demonstrate that believers don’t have to sink into the mud in order to defend facts. That tact is very charitable, but unfortunately, it just doesn’t work with bullies.

And that’s exactly what modern-day believers in a round Earth are—bullies; bullies who are doing their best to intimidate the rest of us into silence.

Well, we can’t allow that to happen. As I say in my book, “My Brain is a Wet Sack of Angry Squirrels: A Flat Earther Refutes Basic Facts,” there is only one way to deal with bullies, even in this politically correct world—and that is to stand up to them and fight them; to fight them in a bold, aggressive, and fearless way, and to fight them now.

 

 

*This article was adapted from the piece “Today’s atheists are bullies — and they are doing their best to intimidate the rest of us into silence.”

You can read Mathew Facciani’s serious response to the FOX News opinion piece here.

 


I have a Patreon account just in case you wish to show your appreciation for my work here on Laughing in Disbelief.


Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.


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