Alex Jones Tells Fans Iceland Doesn’t Exist

 

InfoWars founder Alex Jones recently ranted  Iceland is fake news. Jones asserted no nation could be as liberal, happy, and prosperous as “egghead experts in the pockets of gl0balists” say it is.

Iceland being a “libtard myth” is just the newest conspiracy theory by the man who helped spread lies including but not limited to Pizzagate, the government of the United States orchestrating the Oklahoma City bombing and 9/11 attacks, and that he is, in fact, a salmon swimming upstream.

Supporters of Jones immediately went online to find supporting evidence that Iceland is as real as Wakanda. Several conspiracy-minded YouTube channels produced videos “proving” news stories about Iceland were fake news. “The globalists want you to think Jewish-socialism works,” stated YouTuber David ‘Gravy Biscuit’ Longstreet, “all those people are actors.”

Mr. Gravy Biscuit went on to say the people depicting Icelandic citizens aren’t crisis actors. “I like to call them ‘self-loathing virtue signaling leftist loser actors,’” he quipped.

Trump supporters are petitioning the government to get to the bottom of George Soros’ Great Icelandic Deception. Others, however, can’t see how an embattled President Trump can find the resources to do so while fighting the Washington swamp full of lizard people.

One brave follower of Alex Jones and President Trump is taking matters into his own hands. Izzy Felts of Waldoboro, Maine is building a special boat to sail into the North Atlantic to debunk the Iceland myth. Friends of Mr. Felts report he has no sailing experience and could barely put together his daughter’s dollhouse last Christmas. Regardless, the would-be seafarer is currently building a vessel made out of old beer cans and Marlboro Light boxes in his backyard. “I call her the USS InfoWars. Together we are going to blow the globalist plot apart. If I have time I’ll go a little south and prove Massachusetts is just as fake as Iceland,” Mr. Felts said.

Republican candidates running in the midterm elections sense how electrified their political base is concerning the threat of a prosperous Iceland. Mr. Felts states he has a box full of letters from politicians who want to join him on his intrepid journey.

Democrats are raising money to help get as many Republicans on the USS InfoWars as possible. One anonymous Democrat reflected, “People thought filling the life preservers with concrete was mean. I see it as giving natural selection a wee nudge.”

 


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Me!!Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he penned a chapter in  Not Seeing God: Atheism in the 21st Century  He wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

 


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