Couple Talks To God Via Stuffed Lion In Court

Couple Talks To God Via Stuffed Lion In Court June 7, 2018
This lion is agnostic and wants you to know he doesn’t support faith-based child abuse.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) posted this odd but true story ‘Christianity is not on trial’: baby custody case pits B.C. zealots against state. 

I don’t want to bury the lede on this one.

The couple spoke in tongues in court to a stuffed lion who they claimed was giving them direct counsel from God.

You don’t need to know anything else about the couple to know they are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs (and Jesus).

This could’ve been a garden variety of story of AJ, otherwise known as Mom, and DK, otherwise known as Dad not giving their baby vaccines and engaging in traditional morals:

The Ministry of Children and Family Development got involved with AJ and DK in 2016 after AJ told a facilitator at a lunch program that DK had choked her and “believes sexual relations between children should be encouraged”.

Please, keep your Islam-based jokes to yourselves. This post isn’t about Mohamed or his child bride.

But I digress.

After losing custody of their child, regaining it, and losing custody again because baby CJ was losing weight, the couple ended up in court with a stuffed lion and Jesus for legal counsel:

They rejected legal aid, preferring to advise witnesses “it was their lawyer Jesus Christ asking the questions through the voice of the parent.”

I’m making a prediction. As soon as superintelligent AI is born, it will develop airborne antipsychotic medication. Within days we’ll see a lack of interest in religion and reality TV shows.

Did I mention Mom wanted to rename the child Jesus JoyoftheLord? Under normal circumstances that would seem odd, However, talking in tongues to a stuffed lion (is that you Aslan?) in court outshines all other oddities concerning the case.

I want to give credit where credit is due. Churches in the area did take action against the couple as The Province points out:

They had unstable working and living arrangements, moving around various communities in B.C., court heard. Their views started interfering with their relationships with others, including Christian communities. Several churches banned them and even called police for assistance when the couple set out to “purge churches of evil influences,” according to court records.

At one point, after the birth of their child, they were criminally charged with causing a disturbance after police were called to a church in West Kelowna where the parents were trying to cleanse demonic influences, court heard.

It makes you wonder what would’ve happened if the couple were living in Arkansas.

The judge stated it was a tough case to rule on because the parents wanted to bring up their child in a home with Christian beliefs.

Excuse me while I bang my head against the wall for a bit.

This could take a while…

 


 

Me!!Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he penned a chapter in  Not Seeing God: Atheism in the 21st Century  He wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

 

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