Much of it has to do with family stuff — first and foremost, I am a wife and a mom. And much of what drives my life will never appear on the pages of any blog. When things are slow here, you can mentally picture me catching up on worldly things like laundry, cleaning teenage toilets, or procuring food. Blogging is for “me”, something I treasure, but also the first thing to be set to the side when my family needs me.
Today started early and has been one big round of frustration. Fortuitously, I’ve been at this stuff long enough to recognize the mood I find myself in today, and to know who’s the author of it. A wise friend advised me just now not to credit him in any way so I won’t name him, but suffice it to say he’s gleeful when I am discouraged.
I thought I would share a few of the creative, “new media” ways this enemy gets to this Catholic blogger. He’s high tech these days:
- He comes in the persona of trolling tweeters, beckoning me to think of witty replies to their disparagement that I can lob in 140 characters or less instead of sending up a prayer and moving along, or even blocking them.
- He lures me to Google Analytics far too often, where I either pat myself on the back or — far more frequently — spend way to much time thinking about why something isn’t connecting with readers.
- He lingers around Facebook and catches me when I check too frequently how many “likes” a post has, or if it’s been shared. He may call himself my friend there, but he’s really one of those friends I’d be better off “unfriending” immediately.
The biggest way in which he challenges me is very passive agressive. He poses as a holy fellow Catholic, but nit picks stuff, making assumptions or even declarations about who I am or what I believe because of what I’ve written, or actually often what I haven’t written. He accuses me of being too liberal, too conservative, not Catholic enough and too much of a holy roller – all in the same day! He knows that rather than processing these labels by ignoring them, by praying for humility and confessing vanity, and by moving along with my main purpose — helping others draw closer to Christ — I far too often work myself into a tizzy.
I see his handiwork all around me today. He’s made a mockery of my morning, but I’m determined that while I’ve lost the battle, I’m strengthened for the war. But just to be on the safe side, please join me in a prayer.
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.