Sex & the Ummah

Eds. Note: We’re featuring the stories and perspectives of Muslim youth between the ages of 18-25 this month! Tune in on Twitter to join the #MYRising conversations and check out our sister sites Muslimah Montage, Coming of Faith and Muslim ARC for more #MuslimYouthRising features.---I.T E NI'm about ten-years-old, and have an unwavering love for books. I devour the Harry Potter series, The Magic Treehouse, and tons of chapter books. We can't afford them and can't justify purchas … [Read more...]

Girls Like It, Too

 Call me crazy, but girls love sex too. (Yes I know, a shocker right?)Want to hear the crazy truth? Muslim girls love sex as much as their males counterparts. In fact, they are as hormonal as men. They desire sex, passion, hot love-making, PDA and fetishes as well. The most shocking aspect of this is that some Muslim women have slept with men before marriage.You heard me right. Men. Not a man, but men.It is a perplexing and a bitter pill for a Muslim man to swallow.As a … [Read more...]

Chastity Check

He had no shame. I think that made the situation worse.I asked him the question I have asked most brothers I am interested in.“Have you been in any relationships outside of your previous marriage?”He looked at me and nodded.Sadly, it didn’t surprise me because this seemed to be the reality for a majority of brothers my friends and I encountered.Brothers who acted a hot stakin’ mess…Sex before marriage, babies out of wedlock and not even hiding it in the slightest.What … [Read more...]

10 Honest Thoughts On Being Loved By A Skinny Boy

"I say, 'I am fat.' He says, 'no, you're beautiful.' I wonder why I cannot be both."That's how Rachel Wiley opened her slam poem, "10 Honest Thoughts On Being Loved By A Skinny Boy," at the 2013 National Poetry Slam. Check out the powerful poem below. … [Read more...]

Advice: Praying for a fresh start

Dear Love InshAllah, There's something that I haven't been able to talk to anyone about, but I need to talk to someone about this. It's about our views of purity, and whether we can start our lives fresh if something terrible happens. In our society, we're told from the time we're little girls we should save ourselves for our husbands. I want to get married and have a family, and raise my children in a safe, caring environment. I only wish I was so lucky. From the time I was 12, a relative … [Read more...]

Advice: Nervous About Sex

Salam Love InshAllah,I will be getting married next month and I will move from the stage of not being allowed to be alone with my future husband to being allowed to be intimate with him and I must say I am feeling nervous. My question is about my wedding night or any night that we choose to be intimate. I grew up in a conservative community and attended a Muslim school so my knowledge about sex and intimacy is limited to that which may pop up in a conversation of inexperienced, virgin … [Read more...]

Advice: Dating a woman with a past

Dear Love, InshAllah:I've met a girl I really like. We have been good friends for a while. She and I are both Muslims, both born in a Muslim country, but raised in America. I really like her however, she had (relatively) many sexual relations prior to meeting me. She has never been married. In fact, she never even dated the guys she had sex with - they were just flings and so forth. I know that this is common in many cultures, but when you are from a background that doesn't approve of this … [Read more...]

Advice: Sleeping with my best friend

Dear Love, InshAllah:I've had a best friend for 4-5 years. I started developing feelings for him. He, like me, is a Muslim. I realized I loved him after he started dating my friend. They dated for about six months. I wanted to be with him and convinced myself that I was going to make him fall in love with me. There were many girls after he broke up with my friend, but during this time we got closer. Eventually, he became physically attracted to me and we spent a night together.Since … [Read more...]

Advice: Dating Newbie

Dear Love Inshallah,At the age of 25, I am fairly new to the world of Muslim dating (or dating at all). I've always internalized messages from my community telling me that "dating is haraam" and have stayed away from men for the most part. Over the last few years, I began speaking with suitors, mostly via phone or email, and always with marriage as the end goal. I would always end things early if I didn't see things working out (sometimes before I truly knew the gentleman).For the last … [Read more...]

Advice: My husband doesn’t want to have sex

Ed. note: Today our columnists are answering two similar questions that came in within days of one another.Dear Love InshAllah,I am happily married, and have been so for the past six years. Our sex drives, though, were never compatible; last year we had a very open and loving discussion where I suggested that he might be asexual. After some consideration, he agreed. Sex wasn't very often (maybe 1-2 times a year) but now it is nothing. I'm not comfortable discussing this with my Imam, who … [Read more...]