I sit here typing this crying. Yes, I cry. A lot. My life has been full of raw emotions these past few weeks with the unique juxtaposition I have been living recently. I have dumped my life out in words for people to read, re-read and then re-read again. Looking. Studying. Dissecting each word to see where it fits in the socially constructed boxes that pervasively label the culture war that is the GLBT community and evangelicalism. From those mythical labels come cultural perceptions which somehow morph into fact that release commentary and solidified opinions on your life’s experiences – good or bad. Especially on this topic. I daily wake up humbled, and quite scared because I never expected any of this, I just wanted to follow what the Lord laid before me. And yet there is still so much uncertainty as I continue in contemplation to make sure I’m on solid footing in God’s eyes as I move forward with this new voice that has been given to me. All of that to say I think my emotional build-up just got pushed over the edge. Give me 10 or so minutes and maybe I’ll stop bawling about what I just read.
This review is the most soul crushing review I’ve read to date on my book. I’m not talking about “soul crushing” because it’s bad—I’m talking about “soul crushing” because someone dared to write what he did. It comes from the world famous Internet Monk, whose blog is consistently ranked in the Top 5 most read Christian blogs in the world, and he just took everything to a whole new level.
Praise be to God for His will to push this thing forward:
Barukh attah adonai
(Hebrew for ‘Blessed are you, O Lord’ – to be recited throughout the day in all things good or bad, because in all things, even our own breathe is a privilege given to us by our Holy Lord).
And that is what keeps me going.