Here’s the back-story to this video:
This man was involved in a church and when he decided to tell leadership of his same-sex attractions they put him into therapy (not forcefully because he agreed to do so) and they put his works in the church on “probation” until he didn’t have same-sex attractions anymore. After trying and trying with no change in the attractions, he gladly left the church and now will not go anywhere unless the church, as he said, “are not concerned who he sleeps with.”
Another casualty we created because we didn’t know how to build Christ’s bridges in the right way.
His life now is on our heads for causing his current state. Why? Because he started with a traditional interpretation of Scripture and look where he’s at now because he “couldn’t succeed vs. his struggles”. Listen closely here for a second: if there is something we need to take from this interview, it’s that the Church needs to reorient its understanding of what a successful outcome looks like. If the only metric of success is to “be straight” then we’re not going to ever really be able to make a difference because what constitutes straight? Marriage? Children? What if the person is still gay and just wants an outside facade to blend in? Is that success then? Is success no more attractions to the same-sex, ever? What about unwanted fantasies that can’t be overcome? What about gay Christians? What about celibacy? What about the replacement for intimacy if celibate? Where does that come from?
Too many questions and too few answers because many of us have never invested the time, effort and relationships into figuring it out because the majority Church is just concerned with one label: S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T.
Think about this, if not success, then the only other option is failure. And if success/fail are the only two options we offer (all the while not clearly defining the different shades of one’s journey along the way), we’re not caring enough to authentically enter into someone’s life story with them, now are we? It seems that the Church thinks the ends (being straight) justify the means (don’t care how you get there, just get there—and get there quick. And if it takes too long or done in the fashion deemed appropriate then you’re a failure). When my understanding of what it is to build a Christlike bridge with the GLBT community is the exact opposite (see Love is an Orientation, specifically pages 146-160).
His life is another unfortunate example of us keeping the GLBT community at arm’s length in the most horrific way:
Telling them we love them and want to be there with them throughout everything, and in deception setting up a structure of success and failure that the majority of the time equates to failure. What happens when someone fails, then?! Do we just let them go and not give a second thought because they weren’t successful enough???—well, we did with him and the majority is ok with that.
But it’s not ok with me and I hope it’s not ok with you either.