2009 Gay Pride Parade Video 3 of 11

Here’s the back-story to this video:

This man was involved in a church and when he decided to tell leadership of his same-sex attractions they put him into therapy (not forcefully because he agreed to do so) and they put his works in the church on “probation” until he didn’t have same-sex attractions anymore. After trying and trying with no change in the attractions, he gladly left the church and now will not go anywhere unless the church, as he said, “are not concerned who he sleeps with.”

Another casualty we created because we didn’t know how to build Christ’s bridges in the right way.

His life now is on our heads for causing his current state. Why? Because he started with a traditional interpretation of Scripture and look where he’s at now because he “couldn’t succeed vs. his struggles”. Listen closely here for a second: if there is something we need to take from this interview, it’s that the Church needs to reorient its understanding of what a successful outcome looks like. If the only metric of success is to “be straight” then we’re not going to ever really be able to make a difference because what constitutes straight? Marriage? Children? What if the person is still gay and just wants an outside facade to blend in? Is that success then? Is success no more attractions to the same-sex, ever? What about unwanted fantasies that can’t be overcome? What about gay Christians? What about celibacy? What about the replacement for intimacy if celibate? Where does that come from?

Too many questions and too few answers because many of us have never invested the time, effort and relationships into figuring it out because the majority Church is just concerned with one label: S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T.

Think about this, if not success, then the only other option is failure. And if success/fail are the only two options we offer (all the while not clearly defining the different shades of one’s journey along the way), we’re not caring enough to authentically enter into someone’s life story with them, now are we? It seems that the Church thinks the ends (being straight) justify the means (don’t care how you get there, just get there—and get there quick. And if it takes too long or done in the fashion deemed appropriate then you’re a failure). When my understanding of what it is to build a Christlike bridge with the GLBT community is the exact opposite (see Love is an Orientation, specifically pages 146-160).

His life is another unfortunate example of us keeping the GLBT community at arm’s length in the most horrific way:

Telling them we love them and want to be there with them throughout everything, and in deception setting up a structure of success and failure that the majority of the time equates to failure. What happens when someone fails, then?! Do we just let them go and not give a second thought because they weren’t successful enough???—well, we did with him and the majority is ok with that.

But it’s not ok with me and I hope it’s not ok with you either.

Much love.
www.themarinfoundation.org

About Andrew Marin

Andrew Marin is President and Founder of The Marin Foundation (www.themarinfoundation.org). He is author of the award winning book Love Is an Orientation (2009), its interactive DVD curriculum (2011), and recently an academic ebook titled Our Last Option: How a New Approach to Civility can Save the Public Square (2013). Andrew is a regular contributor to a variety of media outlets and frequently lectures at universities around the world. Since 2010 Andrew has been asked by the United Nations to advise their various agencies on issues of bridging opposing worldviews, civic engagement, and theological aspects of reconciliation. For twelve years he lived in the LGBT Boystown neighborhood of Chicago, and is currently based St. Andrews, Scotland, where he is teaching and researching at the University of St. Andrews earning his PhD in Constructive Theology with a focus on the Theology of Culture. Andrew's research centers on the cultural, political, and religious dynamics of reconciliation. Andrew is married to Brenda, and you can find him elsewhere on Twitter (@Andrew_Marin), Facebook (AndrewMarin01), and Instagram (@andrewmarin1).

  • Anonymous

    The guy says it brief & to the point!Too bad the church is so squeamish.But, remember that many of us aren't. So, be encouraged, Bro. Andrew!

  • Di5

    If he ultimately rejects Christ Jesus and what He did on the cross for him then that is on him, and him alone. I had a lot of things done to me by the church but when God spoke I tried again. I didn't however expect too much, I wanted God not man's approval or even their caring-due to cynicism. I am now a believer. The Word says the Father draws the lost to Jesus, the Holy Spirit changing the mind and heart. You can't save anyone, it's a spiritual work. Which I hope this encourages you to keep encouraging.

  • Evan

    There are alot of things that we as humans do with our free will choices that inhibit the work of the Holy Spirit, bro.

  • A.J.

    This is an A M A Z I N G post Andrew. It is SO VERY TRUE! We need to help bridge the gap! Thank you so much for what you are doing. May God give us all the courage that he has given you and may we all learn to truly love the GLBT community as you do.

    Bless you!


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