Brenda and I are looking for new flooring (still deciding if we should put in hardwood or that cool shag-type carpet). Anyway, we called Empire Carpet and they had a super-sailor-foul-mouthed man come over. Among his ramblings of which I paid no attention, he saw that I had a lot of religious books on my bookshelf. And out of nowhere he said:
“Do you know what I think about living out your faith?”
In my head I said: Nope—don’t know and don’t necessarily want to know either if it is anything like what you have spewed out for the last hour. Instead I smiled and asked his thoughts. And out came a very unexpected profound statement! He said:
1. The obsessive need to look good
2. The obsessive need to be right
3. The obsessive need to avoid pain
4. The obsessive need to be in control”
And as soon as he was done telling Brenda and I his fully inspired and completely insightful and culturally relevant thoughts on living a stifled life in Christ, he went back to his old self—as if for one moment in time he was inspired by clarity.
I now refer to these four constructs as the Empire Carpet Theology.