On Sharing Stories

I grew up in a family whose most central value was “What happens in this house, stays in this house.”
My parents, young Christians, had broken away from their own families as teenagers, and were celebrating parenthood before either of them had lived two full decades. As the years went on, the home would grow to be full of the three headstrong girls they were raising (thankfully, none of us high schoolers at quite the same time), and headstrong independence in children brings with it situations that leave young parents grasping for control of the narrative… my parents found their stability in adherence to their decree that the home was as good as Vegas and the stories therein would not be told. [Read more...]

Why My Wife Came Out

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Last year at about this time, I wrote about when my wife came out to me as bisexual. It was an exposé of my own baggage (of which there was a lot) as well as a tribute to her patience and generosity (of which there was more).

Amid the flood of response, I received many different iterations of the same question: “Why? Why did your wife feel the need to come out at all?” [Read more...]

sacred cow tipping (pt. 2 – the inherent exclusivity of church membership).

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This post is written by Michael Kimpan, the Executive Director at The Marin Foundation. You can read more from Michael at his blog here – and his book, Love Never Fails :: Building Bridges Between the Church and the Gay Community will be available for pre-order soon (2015, IVP). – Last week, we continued our series on sacred cow tipping by acknowledging [Read More...]

Getting Over the Church

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If you’ve been alive long enough and if you’ve ever loved someone, you’ve probably also experienced the heartache of breaking up. Almost all of us can relate to the difficulty of getting over someone. But what do you do if it is the Church that has broken your heart? How do you get over that? [Read more...]

Labels

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Labels are tricky. On the one hand, they can be incredibly useful as tool for self-definition and community-affiliation. This was my wife’s attitude toward the word “bisexual.” Finally, she had a label that helped make sense of her experience and connect her to a community of like individuals.
On the other hand, labels can be oppressive. My wife and I tend to feel this way about the term “mixed-orientation couple” or “mixed-orientation marriage.” Technically, my wife and I fit that description; she’s bi and I’m straight. But the term seems to imply a conflict of sexual orientations that is absent in our relationship. So it’s not a particularly useful label for us. [Read more...]

Bi the Way :: Some Helpful Tips for Christians on Bisexuality

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Today’s post comes from our friend Eliel Cruz. Eliel is a bisexual Christian covering bisexuality for The Advocate and is the co-founder of The Intercollegiate Adventist GSA Coalition. As yesterday was Bisexual Visibility Day, The Marin Foundation wanted to take the opportunity to platform Eliel’s post to increase awareness and, hopefully, educate our readers. We hope you find it [Read More...]

On Listening

Today’s post is by Melinda Guerra, the Administrative Assistant here at The Marin Foundation.  “We have been too wrapped up in planning the communication of our truth by cooking up contingency plans for potential rebuttals that we have forgotten to think relationally.  Looking for opportunities to build trust will inevitably remove some of the fears [Read More...]

introducing (sacred) cow-tipping.

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This post is written by Michael Kimpan, the Executive Director at The Marin Foundation. You can read more from Michael at his blog here – and his book, Love Never Fails :: Building Bridges Between the Church and the Gay Community will be available for pre-order soon (2015, IVP). – Prior to coming to The Marin Foundation, I lived for a few [Read More...]

Cultural Competency Vs. Cultural Humility

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The first approach is to say nothing. It’s hard to offend if you don’t open your mouth. There are any number of proverbs about “the fool” defending this position. It’s wise. However, it’s not really sustainable in the long run. The conversation around gender and sexuality has become one of the the defining issues facing the church today. As I wrote last week, moderate voices are needed.
The second approach is to equip oneself with the right vocabulary and the right set of expectations. It’s hard to offend if you don’t say anything offensive. Or at least in theory. In practice, these conversations can be very difficult to navigate, as we’ll see. But this approach is known as cultural competency.
There’s a third approach, of course. It’s cultural humility. [Read more...]

Being the Token Gay Christian

I am glad my fiancée and I represented ourselves and our love in a positive light.

BUT…

What if I had been having a bad day? I can be quite shy and sometimes I just don’t feel like explaining myself to new people – so what if I had ignored my friend’s father? What if my fiancée and I had been arguing or experiencing a tense moment in our relationship? Would my friend’s father have walked away with the same positive changes in his viewpoint or would we have confirmed every negative opinion he believed about LGBTQ people? [Read more...]

“What If They Think I’m Gay?” And Other Fears that Keep People from Engaging

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“Be Bold.” This is the declaration splashed across our website and facebook page. It’s The Marin Foundation’s motto, although it’s not one that I reflect on often. [Read more...]

Stirring the Pot.

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This post is written by Michael Kimpan, our Associate Director at The Marin Foundation. You can read more from Michael at his blog here – and his book, Love Never Fails :: Building Bridges Between the Church and the Gay Community will be available for pre-order soon (2015, IVP). – With increasing frequency in the past several weeks and months, [Read More...]

Past the Fear of the Unknown

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Today’s post is by Melinda Guerra, our Administrative Assistant here at The Marin Foundation.

A few weeks ago, stuck in traffic, I noticed that the car to my left had a lanyard set on its bumper, with a car key and remote attached. Taking advantage of heavy traffic, I jumped out of my vehicle, grabbed the keys from the bumper, and knocked gently on the door, motioning for the passenger to lower his window.

Two people around my parents’ age stared back at me, wide-eyed and terrified, holding their hands in the air like… like this was a hold-up. [Read more...]

Pass(ed)over.

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This post is written by Michael Kimpan, our Associate Director at The Marin Foundation. You can read more from Michael at his blog here – and his book, Love Never Fails :: Building Bridges Between the Church and the Gay Community will be available for pre-order soon (2015, IVP). – The Passover was near… a time when God’s Spirit hovering [Read More...]


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