Every so often I get a pingback indicating that another blogger has mentioned one of my posts. Sometimes, as it did today, this leads me to interesting and insightful post and blogs. This particular one is so spot on that I just have to share it with you. It’s called Dateable: Am I?, posted on VeganAtheistBlog. Here is an excerpt in which the author discusses what a purity book she read as a young teen taught her:
- Boys only think of sex. Always. No boy ever likes you, they just want to have sex with you. Don’t be fooled into thinking anything else. You cannot trust them. They’ll do and say anything they have to to get you into bed.
- One day, someone will marry you, but only if you’re untouched. Nobody wants something broken, and girls who have had sex are completely broken and worthless. Didn’t you read the car thing above? Marriage is just the price men pay for the privilege of tearing through your hymen, and if yours is already broken, well, you’re a worthless slut and can’t expect anyone to treat you with respect.
- COVER THAT BODY. Seriously. What is wrong with you? If you wear stuff like that and someone fucks you and dumps you, don’t come crying and complain that I didn’t say so. Boys value girls who wear lots of clothes and no slutty make-up. You know, because of the mystery and the way the girls respect themselves. “If you dress like a piece of meat, you’re gonna get thrown on the BBQ.”
Yes, yes, and YES. These are the same messages I and so many other girls growing up in the purity culture received almost daily. And then there is this particularly beautiful part, something I also experienced as well:
I only realized how much all of this was still part of me when I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I trusted him, and I believed that he really liked me (not just my body) and wanted to be together with me.Yet in the weeks afterwards, I felt like a burden had been lifted from me – we had done it, and he hadn’t left me. He was still at my side, as sweet and loving as ever, treated me with no less respect than before and showed no sign of waning interest now that he had “explored the mystery” (yes, you may thank me for this new euphemism).
Go read the whole thing!