Coming out (as an atheist) is a journey not an event

For those raised in religious families surrounded by religious friends and relatives, coming out as an atheist is a big deal. It means risking the potential - and in many cases the likelihood - of losing friends and experiencing damaged relationships with relatives. It may even mean facing emotional manipulation and the pain of rejection. It means a complete change of identity.Personally, I don't see coming out as an atheist as a one time thing. For some it may be, but for me at least, it has … [Read more...]

On anonymous blogging and “coming out” as an atheist

I hope my readers don't think less of me for this, but there is a reason I blog anonymously. The truth is, I'm not out completely to all of my family members. And at the moment, that's okay. For me, coming out as an atheist is a journey rather than an event.Basically, I stopped talking to my parents about my spiritual journey some years ago, and they probably assume I am still frozen where I was: Christian, but not of their specific brand. For the time being, I let them assume that. Why?I … [Read more...]

A humorous post on reading Bible story books to my daughter

Any atheist parent with religious relatives will have to figure out how to deal with the Bible story books their children will inevitably be given for birthdays and Christmas. This is something that's been on my mind lately because a Noah's Ark board book has suddenly become my young daughter's favorite book.Some atheist parents may just return Bible themed story books when their children receive them as gifts, and that's fine, but I didn't want to do that. Now I know I could just read them to … [Read more...]

Searching for the Baby in the Bathwater

This is a slightly edited repost of a post I wrote when I first started blogging last summer. I'm reposting it for new readers. This post explains how I moved from evangelical Christianity to atheism over a process that took some years to complete. Here is the original.  Everyone who leaves the Quiverfull movement, Christian Patriarchy, or evangelical or fundamentalism in general has a long journey in front of them. They have to sort through everything they have always believed and determine … [Read more...]

Sunday Mornings, Guilt, and Reconceptualization

Growing up, I attended church each and every Sunday. It was just . . . what we did. Sunday mornings was for church. Period. My parents used a Bible verse to back up the importance of church attendance: Hebrews 10:25Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. In other words, going to church was commanded by God. It wasn't optional. And if you didn't go to church, you would be … [Read more...]


What I love best about my life today is the absolute freedom I feel. I can believe what I want. I can do what I want. I can wear what I want. I can say what I want. I can be who I want. I cannot emphasize how revolutionary this all is.  When you stop trying to shove yourself into a box, everything suddenly changes. When you allow yourself to ask questions, a whole new world opens up. I so often feel like I'm standing in the middle of a meadow in the spring, whirling in circles and … [Read more...]

Bombing Demons; Or, the Fear of Hell

I recently received the following email:Just wanted to preface that I've been following your blog "Love, Joy, Feminism" for a while.  While I did not grow up quiverfull, I did grow up in a fairly conservative evangelical church.  I left Christianity in college after an experience with abuse and domestic violence blasted my views apart.  I've come to appreciate your writing as a good expression of what many of us experienced growing up as young women in the conservative movement. &n … [Read more...]