Married, with Friends


I recently came upon a book called Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It, by Christian author Jerry B. Jenkins. With the divorce rate steadily climbing and infidelity creeping into even the happiest marriages, in a society that trivializes adultery and its devastating effects, with temptation and opportunity coming at you from all directions - how can you keep your marriage from becoming a statistic?The advice from best-selling author Jerry B. Jenkins is this: plant preventative … [Read more...]

My Brothers and My Mother

Mother Boys

When my brothers were about ten or twelve, my parents began to say that they were "chafing at being under the authority of a woman." By this they meant that my brothers didn't like having to obey my mom, because, of course, they were becoming men. And, well, men don't like being under female authority. Or at least, that's what they said. And to this day, if you asked my mother, she would tell you that all of her boys have "chafed under her authority" while none of her girls have done so. She … [Read more...]

Removing the Romance from Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice

As the leaders of Christian homeschool movement embrace the (supposedly) virtuous past as a contrast to our (allegedly) hedonistic presence - emphasizing female chastity and male chivalry and even, yes, holding historically themed tea parties - they often seem to zero in on the nineteenth and early twentieth century as a sort of ideal era. And yet, this fascination with the Victorian era, along with the years immediately before and after it, often includes an embrace of literature that seems to … [Read more...]

John Piper on Submission and Abused Women


Thanks to Sarah Moon, I recently came upon a video from a few years back where John Piper discusses whether God requires married women to submit to abuse at their husbands hands. Piper recently clarified his views, though without really improving them, as discussed by Sarah in this post (which is well worth a read!). See also Dianna Anderson's take (which is also well worth a read!). Honestly, the fact that this sort of question is still considered a weighty and complex matter by a figure as r … [Read more...]

Mark Driscoll on Stay at Home Dads


This video is several years old, but I only just came upon it and I think it's an excellent example of just how rigid many evangelicals make gender roles - and just how hard they work to police them. In this video Mark Driscoll explains not only that men who stay at home with their children while their wives work are, according to the Bible, "worse than unbelievers," but also that men who stay at home are not "real" men and will never have the respect of their wives.Can I say how glad I … [Read more...]

On Shoveling Snow and How Patriarchy Hurts Men Too

shoveling snow

Today I did something I've never done before. I shoveled snow. No, I didn't grow up in the south. I grew up with snow. I just never shoveled it. My brothers did. Yes, I've been grown and gone and married for years now, but my husband and I live in an apartment where the handy men shovel the walks. And so, somehow, I've made it to my mid-twenties without shoveling snow.It is often said that patriarchy hurts men too, but I don't think this is emphasized nearly enough. My brothers were expected … [Read more...]

Christian Patriarchy and Gender: Contentment v. Ambition


For as long as I can remember, I heard the values of contentment extolled. Contentment, contentment, contentment, contentment, contentment. Growing up in a family influenced by the Quiverfull and Christian Patriarchy movements, contentment was something preached on a daily basis. I learned very early that I must be content.But you know what? This isn't what the guys around me were being told. While I was being taught to be content, they were being taught to be ambitious. They had to find jobs … [Read more...]