On Shoveling Snow and How Patriarchy Hurts Men Too

Today I did something I've never done before. I shoveled snow. No, I didn't grow up in the south. I grew up with snow. I just never shoveled it. My brothers did. Yes, I've been grown and gone and married for years now, but my husband and I live in an apartment where the handy men shovel the walks. And so, somehow, I've made it to my mid-twenties without shoveling snow.It is often said that patriarchy hurts men too, but I don't think this is emphasized nearly enough. My brothers were expected … [Read more...]


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Christian Patriarchy and Gender: Contentment v. Ambition

For as long as I can remember, I heard the values of contentment extolled. Contentment, contentment, contentment, contentment, contentment. Growing up in a family influenced by the Quiverfull and Christian Patriarchy movements, contentment was something preached on a daily basis. I learned very early that I must be content.But you know what? This isn't what the guys around me were being told. While I was being taught to be content, they were being taught to be ambitious. They had to find jobs … [Read more...]


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My God, They Really Are the Same

Hang on, I'm having troubles picking my jaw up off the floor over here. I follow a blog called Sober Second Look, whose author writes about having converted into a conservative Muslim sect in the 1980s, married a Muslim man, and then had a passel of Muslim children before deconverting. And today, she wrote this: Oddly enough, it never crossed my mind when I (and my convert friends) were having multiple children as our small, insular conservative Muslim and extremely pronatalist community … [Read more...]


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Suzanne Venker’s War on Men

Suzanne Venker wrote an article called "The War on Men" for Fox News. I decided I would avoid it. Other blogs have it covered, after all. I almost succeeded avoiding the topic until I came upon these quotes from her explanation defending her original piece:  Women should understand that they absolutely can be strong and independent and be married, but that being feminine and vulnerable and taking on that more traditional role as being dependent on a man and letting him have some say in the mat … [Read more...]


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Survivor Blogs: Compiling a List

For a while now, I've had a list of blogs by individuals who grew up in the Christian Patriarchy or Quiverfull movements and have since questioned and left. This list has grown as I've come upon additional blogs over the course of the past year and a half. I'd like to both bring the list to your attention and ask for your help in adding to it.Of course, the boundaries of the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements are not clearly defined. In general, what I'm looking for is blogs by … [Read more...]


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I Don’t Want To Be Anyone’s Special Little Princess

I recently ran across this quote from Christian Patriarchy advocate Don Miller. Let's take it from the top, shall we? Do you want to be treated like men in every area of your life? And if not, is it confusing for you to want to be treated more kindly and tenderly in a social area, but more straight-forwardly in the sense of economic and cultural equality? People like Miller are always saying that feminists want women to be treated "like men." The reality is that I and other feminists want wo … [Read more...]


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Vision Forum, Militias, Dominionism, and Weaponry

A reader left the following comment on my post on Vision Forum and gender roles: My goodness, the almost single-minded emphasis on violence in the boys’ toys is seriously disturbing! That emphasis is not accidental. Christian Patriarchy organization Vision Forum uses the term "dominion" without any intended irony, and it's not the only leading organization in the Christian Patriarchy movement to be so focused on weapons and military training. Here's a paragarph from an article Doug Wilson post … [Read more...]


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