Mothers are NOT always right


Humans of New York has been visiting Iran recently, and this story of a mother and daughter just popped up in my feed:I'm glad this woman's daughter is okay, though I'm bothered by the fact that she seems to care more about the fact that she was right about her daughter's boyfriend being bad news than she does about the fact that her daughter is now safe and no longer in an abusive relationship. It's not so much "I'm glad you're safe and happy now" as it is "I told you so." And can you sa … [Read more...]

Maintaining a Relationship with Difficult Parents


Over the years, I have sometimes gotten emails from readers wanting advice on how to deal with controlling and manipulative (if not downright abusive) parents. As my regular readers will know, I have maintained my relationship with my parents in spite of the no good very bad treatment I received from them as I came of age. My parents' actions---their efforts to control and manipulate and guilt me into being the daughter they wanted me to be---were emotionally abusive. Why did I decided to keep … [Read more...]

Evangelical Author Shaunti Feldhahn’s Misleading Work on Marriage and Divorce


Ladies Against Feminism recently linked to a Western Journalism article from last year, written by Matt Barber and titled "You May Have Heard That The Divorce Rate In The Church Is 50% . . . Get Ready To Be Shocked." I clicked through because the overall divorce rate isn't 50%, and I've known that for years.  Heck, a New York Times article addressed exactly this myth in an article last year as well:Despite hand-wringing about the institution of marriage, marriages in this country are … [Read more...]

When the Perpetrators Matter More than the Victims


In March 2002, Jim Bob Duggar found out that his fourteen-year-old son, Josh, was sexually molesting prepubescent girls. Jim Bob did not say anything about this to the authorities until July 2003, even as it continued to happen and the list of victims grew. And in the wake of these revelations, I have been absolutely horrified by the number of people who have said they would not have immediately reported their fourteen-year-old son for molesting prepubescent girls either.I have a … [Read more...]

Why Josh Duggar’s “Teenage Mistakes” Matter


Last week it was revealed that Josh Duggar sexually assaulted five girls in two families, some as young as five, when he was a teenager. This took place over the course of a year. Josh's father, Jim Bob, did not report the incidents to law enforcement until 16 months after the initial incident, and even then only did so to a family friend who then failed to file a report. The incidents came to the attention of the authorities in 2006, but by then the statute of limitations had passed. Any c … [Read more...]

Motherhood Is Not Inherently Deserving of Praise


Mother's Day has been a bit weird for me for years now. When I turned 18 and left home for college, things changed between my mother and I. Or rather, they didn't change, and that was the problem. I've often thought that, given that I'm the oldest and my mother was still parenting preschoolers when I left home, she just couldn't figure out how to have a relationship. She could still order my younger siblings around and expect them to obey, but that didn't work on me anymore.Things got so bad … [Read more...]

Any Time I Hear Someone Say “Traditional Marriage”

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Traditional marriage. Traditional marriage. Traditional marriage.This week Fox News published an opinion piece by Cal Thomas titled "Will we erase the boundaries that have guided humanity for generations?" In it he asked this: If human history, tradition, the Bible, the Constitution and biology are to be ignored or re-defined, on what basis do courts say "no" to anything? Of course, these same questions were on the justice's minds during last weeks' Supreme Court hearings.Justice … [Read more...]