Just Who Is Teaching Respect?

sneer

I grew up in a (very) large Christian homeschooling family where children were expected to be "respectful." Or so I thought. Mainly this meant saying "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" and obeying your parents, and now I'm shaking my head at how shallow this is and everything it misses. A few weeks ago my two youngest brothers, still in elementary school, shamed my mid-twenties next-in-age sister for getting a tattoo. They verbally berated her and heckled here and generally sought to humiliate her. My … [Read more...]

Oh Mr. Gothard!

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As you probably noticed, my computer glitched and posted my weekly Friday post on Wednesday. Oops! If you haven't read that post, CTBHHM: The Question of Birth Control, feel free to do so now. For today, I'm going to turn to some of Bill Gothard's thoughts on procreation, drawing from his Advanced Seminar Textbook. Trust me, it's ever bit as good as Debi! What would we have lost if Jesse had had a smaller family? If Jesse had had one less child, David would not have been born. Jesse had eight … [Read more...]

Taken for a Lesbian Couple

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"You two are adorable, and your children are beautiful," the nice-looking older woman told my friend Beth and I as she paused at our table. She then gave us a knowing smile and moved on. "Did she think we were together, or did I imagine that?" Beth asked, turning to me. "You definitely didn't imagine that," I replied with a bemused smile. Beth and I were at an outdoor concert that day, our collective four children in tow. We'd left our husbands at home to get some work done in peace, … [Read more...]

My Sister, Joy—and Me

Sisters

Regular readers are often curious about my younger siblings. Half of my siblings have come of age and left the nest, and the other half of them are still at home. Those who are grown have chosen a variety of different paths. Sometimes I've pitched in and helped a sibling out with leaving or getting started on their own, but the process has generally been fairly smooth, both because my siblings have been given a solid academic foundation and because my parents have not been vindictive. But I … [Read more...]

Someone, Please Save Me From Hell

Hell

A relative recently posted this image on facebook, along with a call for all of those "who haven't repented" to take note. There are a lot of Christians today who either do not believe in hell or downplay the idea of hell. Unfortunately, this is not true of my relatives. For them, hell is as real as you or me, and is the rate of anyone who has not repented and prayed the sinner's prayer. Sadly, I cannot simply be theoretical about this. This is because I know from experience that a belief in … [Read more...]

A Living Disappointment

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My mom has been doing a good job keeping just how disappointed she is in me and in my life choices to herself these days. A couple of years ago she went all out and left me in tears, wanting to curl into a ball, and ultimately in therapy. These days, she just purses her lips. Usually. Recently, though, we had a conversation in which she confirmed what a huge disappointment she views me as. It's not that I didn't know, but it's hard to hear said. To my mother, I am a living disappointment. You … [Read more...]

Live Every Moment

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Do you know what has been most surprising to me of all about adulthood? How fast time moves. For example, today is Christmas, and I don't remember once having that "oh my goodness I can't wait Christmas is taking forever to come" feeling. No, I only had the "what wait is Christmas really that soon I'm not ready for it yet" feeling. Sally, of course, felt differently, as I did at her age. I've realized more and more that every day I live is a day I will never get back. Every evening is an … [Read more...]


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