The husband along for the ride

father daughter

When I did my readers survey, one reader asked the following question: You talk about feminism, but I don't recall you ever discussing sharing childcare with up your husband. Maybe you have and I missed it, but I come away with the impression that childcare is yours alone. Is there a story here? I think part of the answer is that my blog is about my journey, and that's what I explore in my parenting posts. But this reader is right - because of this my husband ends up being conspicuously … [Read more...]

Moments of silence

Have you ever experienced a "moment of silence"? You know, that awkward moment right after you say something without thinking and completely shock your conservative friend or relative? Let me offer some examples.Some time back I was out shopping with my mom. Me: "This looks like the kind of material my friend Anna is looking at for her bridesmaids' dresses. She's in full wedding planning at the moment, it's all she talks about." Mom: "Oh, that's sweet. When is her wedding?" … [Read more...]

Courtship, Part 3: They Said He Would Leave Me

The whole reason I was sold on the idea of participating in a parent-guided courtship in the first place was my fear that if I chose my own husband I would be blinded by love or manipulated by an unscrupulous young man and thus end up in a hellish marriage. Following a parent-guided courtship was the safe thing to do. My father would protect me by vetting my suitors and choosing a good husband for me when I could not trust myself to make that choice on my own.But then I broke with the plan. … [Read more...]

Courtship, Part 2: What’s Important and What Isn’t

I explained in Part 1 why the idea of a parent-guided courtship was appealing to me. In that post I described the courtship process that I grew up expecting. Here I am going to focus on one aspect of that: the process by which the father vets his daughter's prospective suitors. This is, after all, how the father is supposed to protect his daughter from a disastrous match by helping her choose a husband.My father made a list, a list of qualifications that any young man would have to meet on … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Looking Back on Your Childhood

childhood

How did you perceive your childhood at the time compared to how do you see it now? Joe: Coming soon. Latebloomer: At the time, I felt like a lot of things about myself were sinful—my sexuality, my negative feelings of frustration/anger, my opinions, and even my poor social skills.  I genuinely wanted to have a deep relationship with God that would let me be satisfied no matter what my circumstances were.  I believed that my challenges were God’s way of making me a better person, and I belie … [Read more...]

In which Sally masters grace and I relax

praying child

As you may have noticed, I can sometimes be a bit angsty about raising my young daughter Sally without God. For one thing, God was just about the most important thing about my upbringing, and that makes raising children outside of religion seem completely foreign. For another thing, essentially all of our relatives on both sides are devoutly religious, and being the only ones in the family to be raising our children without religion can present interesting challenges. I think, though, that it's … [Read more...]

A Broken Father’s Day

Yesterday was Father's Day. I didn't call my dad.Part of me says I should have. He is my dad, and I do love him, after all. I could have called him. But the thing is, if I had called all that would have resulted is a strained conversation with a surface-level exchange. We would both have had to pretend that everything that happened between us several years ago didn't. It would have been fake.Yesterday Sierra posted a song that really speaks to my relationship with my dad. Here are some … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X