Courtship, Part 2: What’s Important and What Isn’t

I explained in Part 1 why the idea of a parent-guided courtship was appealing to me. In that post I described the courtship process that I grew up expecting. Here I am going to focus on one aspect of that: the process by which the father vets his daughter's prospective suitors. This is, after all, how the father is supposed to protect his daughter from a disastrous match by helping her choose a husband.My father made a list, a list of qualifications that any young man would have to meet on … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Looking Back on Your Childhood

childhood

How did you perceive your childhood at the time compared to how do you see it now? Joe: Coming soon. Latebloomer: At the time, I felt like a lot of things about myself were sinful—my sexuality, my negative feelings of frustration/anger, my opinions, and even my poor social skills.  I genuinely wanted to have a deep relationship with God that would let me be satisfied no matter what my circumstances were.  I believed that my challenges were God’s way of making me a better person, and I belie … [Read more...]

In which Sally masters grace and I relax

praying child

As you may have noticed, I can sometimes be a bit angsty about raising my young daughter Sally without God. For one thing, God was just about the most important thing about my upbringing, and that makes raising children outside of religion seem completely foreign. For another thing, essentially all of our relatives on both sides are devoutly religious, and being the only ones in the family to be raising our children without religion can present interesting challenges. I think, though, that it's … [Read more...]

A Broken Father’s Day

Yesterday was Father's Day. I didn't call my dad.Part of me says I should have. He is my dad, and I do love him, after all. I could have called him. But the thing is, if I had called all that would have resulted is a strained conversation with a surface-level exchange. We would both have had to pretend that everything that happened between us several years ago didn't. It would have been fake.Yesterday Sierra posted a song that really speaks to my relationship with my dad. Here are some … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Relationships with Siblings

family q4

Have any of your siblings (or perhaps even parents) left Quiverfull/Christian Patriarchy ideology? How do you approach the relationships with siblings who have not? Joe: I would say half of my siblings have left and the other half still hang on to a little bit of the ideology or envelope themselves in it.  All I can do is communicate factual and logical information to them.  Recently, my brother left a Gothard law college because of facts I led him to and others have begun to vaccinate their c … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Coming “Out”

family q3

For those who are no longer Christian, are you “out” to your parents or siblings? If so, how did you do it and how did they respond? Joe: I am out to everyone and their grandma.  Most of them roll their eyes.  Others have followed in my footsteps.  Some mock me behind the scenes.  Some even confront me with an audience.  Regardless, I still love them all. Latebloomer: I still consider myself a Christian, although I’m so liberal in my opinions that many Christians would not want to share the l … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Relationship with Family Today

family q2

What is your relationship with your parents and siblings like today? What is your relationship with those you grew up with who remained in the movement like? Joe: I have completely closed the door on all communication with my mother.  No calls, no emails, no letters, no visits, nothing.  The mind games she played became too much for my children and, most of all, my wife, that we mutually decided to close the door on that area of our life. My siblings and I were very close growing up.  We st … [Read more...]


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