Dreams of Miscarriage

A little while ago, when I was about seven months pregnant, I had a dream that I miscarried (just so there's no confusion, it was a DREAM! Not real!). In my dream I looked at the little dead body, so close to being fully formed, and mourned. Not for the loss of a child but for the loss of an idea.I mourned for the loss of the potential second child I had so hoped to have, not for the loss of a particular beloved individual child. I mourned the fact that I would have to start pregnancy over … [Read more...]

On Titles and Respect

Sierra's recent post, "Oh, 'Brother,'" made me think about just what I was taught to call adults growing up. Sierra writes that in her church she was encouraged to call other church members "Brother This" or "Sister That." We, in contrast, did not do that. I don't think my parents would have seen that as respectful, actually.My parents required us to always address adults with the titles "Mr." or Mrs." followed by a last name. If it was a fairly young adult, we might be allowed to use the … [Read more...]

Marital Blind Spots: Miming Our Parents’ Mistakes

I recently read a guest post called "But He Never Hit Her." Every once in a while I run across a post that really makes me think and evaluate my own actions, and this was one of them. The author starts by talking about her parents' abusive relationship and then goes on to talk about how growing up with this view of marriage as normal affected her own marriage. After quoting from the article, I'll provide some of my own thoughts and experiences with this. So many people think that abuse is … [Read more...]

Worthwhile Reads: Homemaking

Sierra of The Phoenix and Olive Branch has started a new series called "the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" in which she will address "several aspects of evangelical-fundamentalist life that have good, bad and ugly sides." Her first segment, on homemaking, is now complete.Homemaking: The GoodHomemaking: The BadHomemaking: The Ugly … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Marriage

marriage fighting

In many ways, every Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull couple has a different dynamic. What sort of a dynamic did your parents have? Was one more sold on the Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull ideology than the other? Or, if you grew up in a broken family, how did this affect your experience? Joe: When Mama discovered patriarchy, my parents were already divorced.  My dad had attended an IBLP Basic seminar as a young college student.  He brought the materials home to his dad who promptly threw it a … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: “Typical” and “Atypical”


In what ways was your family a “typical” Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull family? In what ways was it “atypical”? Joe: We were “typical” insomuch as we attended a conservative church, made decisions only from the Bible, appeared completely normal on the outside, and claimed that our lives would be lived out as was set forth in all patriarchal/Quiverfull beliefs.  We believed doctors were beyond evil and everything could be cured with a clove of garlic or drinking apple cider vinegar. Our lives … [Read more...]

Marriage, Divorce, and the ROOT of a problem

It bugs me how often people address symptoms rather than getting to the root of the issue. For instance, the anti-abortion crowd tries to ban abortion even though the root cause is unplanned pregnancies and abortion is only a symptom. In reading through the comments on a post called Divorce and Custody on an evangelical Christian blog, I've realized that conservative evangelicals do the same exact thing with divorce. David D. Flowers says:My concern is for professing Christians involved in … [Read more...]