Oh the Dangers of Daycare!

daycare

I grew up being taught that daycare was the place where selfish moms go to abandon their children. I thought children who were in daycare were miserable, deprived, and stunted. And the same went for preschool as well. I believed that being carefully tended by a state at home mom was the only right option, the only wan to turn out healthy and well-adjusted children, and the only godly option. And then I reached a point where I had no option but to send my daughter to daycare. I was nervous. I … [Read more...]

“Are You Teaching Her About Jesus?”

A letter from a relative recently asked me this question with regards to my daughter: "Are you teaching her about Jesus?" The trouble is, this is an older relative that I love deeply. She has never been anything but kind to me. I really don't want to hurt her. But when I eventually answer that question, and truthfully - I don't feel I can lie - I know that I will hurt her, a lot. Now for the moment, I am planning to just not answer her question. It was one line in a newsy letter, and I don't … [Read more...]

Homeschooling, the family, and agents of socialization

schoolyard

I attended an academic talk on homeschooling not too long ago, and one of the speakers asked this: For the homeschooled student, when does the family stop being the primary agent of socialization? He went on to explain that for most children, school becomes a primary agent of socialization alongside the family. This does not happen for homeschoolers, though, who generally continue to go where their family goes, see who their family sees, and be where their family is. The family continues to be … [Read more...]

Dear Libby: How can I be a good role model?

Dear Libby I have a situation that I thought you may be able to help me with.  I'm a liberal Christian whose brand of faith has more to do with living out Jesus' example of love than anything else -- I tend to identify more with Quakers than most denominations I've run across, but the absence of a meetinghouse in my area has kept me from becoming more involved. I have a dearly, dearly beloved aunt who, over the years, has become increasingly fundamentalist in her political and religious … [Read more...]

On Raising Progressive Children

children2

The other day my daughter asked me why I wear a ring. I told her it's because I'm married, and I called my husband over and showed her his ring, too. I told her that when two people get married they wear rings. But of course this meant I had to explain what "getting married" meant. So I told her that when two people love each other very much and want to be life partners, they get married. I told her that when she grows up and finds someone she loves very much and wants to share her life with, … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest, Part 4: The Pain

In Part 1 I discussed the definition of emotional incest, in Part 2 I discussed its relationship with the stay-at-home daughter dynamic of the Christian Patriarchy movement, and in Part 3 I discussed other ways emotional incest can occur as well. I am now going to turn to the problems and pain emotional incest causes. Emotional incest causes a multitude of problems, but I'm only going to address the three I see as most significant: first, it creates a relationship triangle between the parents … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest, Part 3: Daddy’s Little Princess and Mommy’s Big Boy

In Part 1 I looked at the definition of emotional incest and in Part 2 I looked at how integral father/daughter emotional incest is to the Christian Patriarchy movement. I want to take a moment here to point out some other ways emotional incest can play out, both in families not involved with the Christian Patriarchy movement and between mothers and sons in families in the Christian Patriarchy movement. First, this from Wikipedia: Jungian analyst and author Marion Woodman describes … [Read more...]


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