A Day in the Life

I told Sean earlier that I think today pretty much sums up our lives. Marriage and parenting are things that are beautiful and enriching when you zoom out and take a long view, but will naturally have bumps and turbulence along the way. Just like life. And in many ways, today was a picture of that.We had been planning for a while to go to a children's museum in a city about an hour away, and so had decided that today would be the day it would make it happen. Still, we treasure our lazy S … [Read more...]


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Jonathan Last, Race Suicide, and Demographic Collapse

Forget the debt ceiling. Forget the fiscal cliff, the sequestration cliff and the entitlement cliff. Those are all just symptoms. What America really faces is a demographic cliff: The root cause of most of our problems is our declining fertility rate. Apparently my IUD is the cause of the fiscal cliff. Yay me.Can I say how much I hate articles like this? This particular one, by author Jonathan Last (whose new book, What To Expect When No One's Expecting, just came out), was published in the … [Read more...]


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Creating Spaces for Collective Mourning

Last week Dan Fincke introduced this prompt for Forward Thinking: If it were up to you to design one or more basic models for messaging and for ritual through which people were to regularly mark deaths together, what would such ceremonies be like?  This isn't a topic I've thought very much about, or had much experience with, but I'll try to pull together a few tentative thoughts nonetheless. Funerals, even more than weddings, can be complicated when there are people of a variety of religious be … [Read more...]


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“Actually Sally, their family has two mommies”

I was recently looking through my facebook feed when I came upon a picture of Haley, whose wife Melissa writes at Permission to Live."Ooo, she's pretty!" said Sally.I smiled. Haley is a transgender woman, and I was pleased that Sally immediately identified her as female. I started flipping through Haley's pictures, and Sally admired them and was excited to note whenever Haley's children appeared in the pictures with her. And then, finally, I came to a picture of Haley with Melissa, smiling … [Read more...]


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Married, with Friends

I recently came upon a book called Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It, by Christian author Jerry B. Jenkins. With the divorce rate steadily climbing and infidelity creeping into even the happiest marriages, in a society that trivializes adultery and its devastating effects, with temptation and opportunity coming at you from all directions - how can you keep your marriage from becoming a statistic?The advice from best-selling author Jerry B. Jenkins is this: plant preventative … [Read more...]


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When Bobby Wants His Daddy

Last night Sean held Bobby while I finished unloading the dishwasher with Sally. Sean then asked if I would hold Bobby so that he could put butter on some bread. I went to take Bobby, but Bobby instead threw his arms around Sean's neck and moved away from me. Sean smiled and held Bobby closer as I offered to butter the bread.When Sally was born, Sean wasn't sure what exactly to do with her. My schedule was more flexible, so I ended up caring for Sally the vast majority of the time. It wasn't … [Read more...]


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Some Thoughts on Child Custody

Blogger Sheldon recently responded to my post on why my son Bobby needs feminism too, and while he praised the basic core of my post, he added this concern: She talks about patriarchy being causing problems for men, but I notice this problem has been overlooked (whether intentionally or unintentionally, I don't know).The divorce/family court system in the US very rarely gives full custody to men, or at the very least a decent shared custody agreement, very likely because of th … [Read more...]


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