Hitting the Reset Button


I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I've learned that running a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I've tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven't always been successful.I've written numerous posts about my comment policy … [Read more...]

No Ableist Slurs, Please!

From time to time I find the need to step in and remind commenters about my comment policy. This time, it has come to my attention that a number of my commenters have slipped into using ableist slurs. I slip in this area myself sometimes, and not long ago I had to edit a post because I'd accidentally used one here on the blog. This post is not a condemnation but rather a call to do better---and a reminder that ableist slurs are banned by my blog's comment policy.What are ableist slurs? Words … [Read more...]

Beyond Civility

A comment section dispute between individuals who will go unnamed turned extremely ugly this weekend. As my regular readers know, I have a comment policy for my blog. This is not a public space where anything goes. This is my personal blog and I set the rules. I feel the need to take a moment to go over my comment policy again, because I think some of you need a reminder.While my policy states that sexism, homophobia, etc., are prohibited, this is mainly because I reserve the right to ban eg … [Read more...]

My Top Nine Posts of 2014

This year Love, Joy, Feminism had over five million pageviews. Today I want to share my nine most popular posts. I'm always excited to tally this up at the end of the year, and this year is no exception!9. Teaching Consent to Small ChildrenI'm not really surprised by this one. People generally seem to like my posts on teaching consent, along with other posts on parenting without fear.8. A Letter to My ParentsNow this one did surprise me. Why? Because it's not even a post! It's … [Read more...]

People! I Have a Comment Policy!

Over this past week I have been growing increasingly frustrated at the growing number of people violating my comment policy. Some of these violations are committed by newcomers who may be unaware that I have a comment policy, but others are committed by regular readers. I have a lot on my plate right now, and stepping in and moderating all of these conversations to warn or ban those who violate my comment policy is really starting to take its tole. You've noticed that I don't have my Created To … [Read more...]


I suppose I should have expected this when I posted several days ago about seeing an offensive sexist shirt at my local YMCA. Some MRAs descended on the post's comment thread and everything went downhill from there. It's worth taking a moment to do some housekeeping and lay down a few ground rules.First, do not flag comments frivolously. If a commenter violates my comment policy, please inform them that they have done so and that further violations will be flagged and could lead to banning. … [Read more...]

Disqus Switch and Disappearing Comments

Okay all, sorry for the confusion. The old wordpress software apparently became too clunky as Patheos grew, so every blog is being switched over to the disqus commenting system.The Awesome Stuff:Conversations should be easier to follow now, and you can now "like" comments by up voting them---something some of you have wanted for some time. You can also flag comments as inappropriate, which helps me ensure that everyone follows my comment policy. You can edit your comments, another … [Read more...]