The Radical Notion that Children Can Have Anxiety Too

shy-child

By SamanthaOriginally posted on Defeating the DragonsI was in a conversation a few days ago that has stayed with me, and I think what I noticed is important. A few moms brought up how their children respond to church services, and as a part of that discussion, one mother mentioned that her son said “the music gave him a stomach ache.” Responses were along the lines of “well, no wonder, rock concerts in church aren’t very restful.” It seemed to me that they were chalking up this toddler’s … [Read more...]

I Co-sleep, But: Some Thoughts on Attachment Parenting

cosleep

I've written before about not feeling "crunchy" enough for my hippie college town. I'm not sure, though, whether I've touched directly on Attachment Parenting (AP). I know I've wanted to. When I first left the authoritarian parenting and corporal punishment behind, I found AP very attractive. What is AP? Attachment parenting focuses on the nurturing connection that parents can develop with their children. That nurturing connection is viewed as the ideal way to raise secure, independent, and e … [Read more...]

Busting the Mommy Myth

mommy myth

Last week I wrote a post commenting on an article titled Motherhood: The Strongest Bond, writer Denise Stirks. Denise argued that moms have a special bond born of their love for their children. She talked about the empathy she feels for other moms, whether it be a mom trying to quiet her baby on an airplane or a mother trying to arrange childcare so that she can cover her shift. She spoke of this bond and common empathy for other mothers as though it is universal and almost magic.I critiqued … [Read more...]

Stop Saying Kids Aren’t Expensive!

girlcoins

Ladies Against Feminism recently posted a piece titled Kids Aren’t Expensive But Greed Is. When I saw the title, I was reminded of my parents' constant insistence that children aren't expensive. I honestly do not understand why people make this argument. They could argue that while it costs money to raise kids, kids are worth every cent. They could argue that raising children creates memories, moments, and relationships that more than compensate for the financial drain they represent. But no, ins … [Read more...]

Yes, I’m a Mom. I Have Also Been a Child.

bond

I recently came upon an article titled Motherhood: The Strongest Bond. For whatever reason, the article title was later changed to The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say to Another Mom. The basic idea is that we who are mothers are united in a powerful way by our love for our children and our willingness to sacrifice for them, and that that gives us a common sense of understanding for each other.Here's an excerpt from the article:. . . And later I was getting dinner at a takeout r … [Read more...]

Sorting Out the Good from the Bad

Mother and Daughter Reading Together

In yesterday's blog post, I compared my relationship with my own children with my mother's relationship with my younger siblings, and with me as a child. I wrote as follows: As my own children have grown, it has become striking how different the relationship I have with them is from the relationship my mother has with my younger siblings who still live at home. Her relationship with her children is built on authority and obedience; my relationship with mine is built on mutual respect and trust. … [Read more...]

On Coming When You’re Called and Fear-Based Obedience

nervous

Yesterday I argued that we sometimes hold higher expectations for our children than we do for ourselves. One example I gave was when parents expect their children to jump up and come immediately when called while they themselves feel free to take a moment to finish something when someone else calls them.I grew up with parents who expected obedience to be "immediate, complete, cheerful, and without question." Anything short of this was considered disobedience. Half of my many siblings are … [Read more...]


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