The husband along for the ride

father daughter

When I did my readers survey, one reader asked the following question: You talk about feminism, but I don't recall you ever discussing sharing childcare with up your husband. Maybe you have and I missed it, but I come away with the impression that childcare is yours alone. Is there a story here? I think part of the answer is that my blog is about my journey, and that's what I explore in my parenting posts. But this reader is right - because of this my husband ends up being conspicuously … [Read more...]

Debi Pearl is not very nice

Debi Pearl

My regular readers will know that I am not a fan of the Pearls. Michael and Debi Pearl run No Greater Joy ministries and are best known for their child rearing manual, To Train Up A Child, but have also written numerous other books including extremely patriarchal marriage advice literature. One thing that has struck me more and more lately is how very not nice Debi Pearl is in so much of her writing. Here is an excerpt, for example, from an article she wrote recently called Rats: I went down … [Read more...]

I write about parenting because Sally changed my life

mother and cihld

As I went through the results of my recent readers survey, I was struck by a particular comment. I like your reflections on parenting Sally, but they have little to do with Sally. They are about you reinventing parenting and allowing Sally to teach you. This comment is so true. I never thought when I first gave birth that the little new life I held in my arms would so profoundly change me. Not simply change my life, but actually really truly change who I am as a person. Sally has spurred me to … [Read more...]

Worthwhile Reads: Parenting Articles

Latebloomer offers a list of "Parenting Articles Worth Sharing," and one of my own articles made her list!Anger Is Not a Sin, on Rachel Held Evans During the early years, however, Jose and I practiced a parenting style consistent with what we were learning in church—negative emotions were "bad" and somehow needed to be avoided or at least taken care of quick. For our kids, this looked like being mad at them for being mad (yes, I get the irony).  Things like "Go to your room if you are an … [Read more...]

Worthwhile Reads: Having It All Is Not a “Woman’s Issue”

Having It All: Not a "Woman's Issue" As an aside, I have a secret fantasy of gathering a team of men to go to every male-dominated discussion (on specific issues in the law or a certain genre of film or investigative journalism or whatever) and when it’s Q& A time, earnestly ask the male panelists how they balance work and family.As a not-aside, the harder question is what to do here. I think there are a few solutions, at least for the heteros among us:First, don’t marry or move in o … [Read more...]

Temper tantrums, life, and calming down

breathe

Last week I took Sally to the park. When we pulled in, she completely freaked out. She started crying and yelling.No! Not here! Go back out, mommy!I responded as I normally do.Sally, it's okay, calm down. Tell mommy what's wrong. ... Honey, just take a deep breath, calm down, and use your words. ... Sally, I'm trying to listen to you, but I can't understand what you want while you're crying.This went back and forth for a minute or two, with her crying and me trying to figure out … [Read more...]

Sarah’s Spanking Project

Sarah at Who I Am Without You is doing a project on spanking. This week I got a bright idea. I want to compile a collection of stories from victims of spanking. I want young parents to be able to see the issue from words that could someday belong to their child. People who want to participate can write a short post, about 100-300 words in regards to the issue of spanking, and I will post them one at a time into an album on my blog. She offers a number of different formats: … [Read more...]


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