Preschool Dating Drama

Sally is growing her hair out, but she absolutely hates having it washed.  "Sally, if washing your hair is this hard, we can cut it shorter," I suggested during a recent bath, as Sally was literally in tears over having her hair washed."But I want to marry Aiden," Sally objected vehemently, "And he said at the library, 'you better keep growing your hair out!'"O_oTo be honest, I was completely taken aback by Sally's comment. She's five years old for goodness' sake! I wasn't p … [Read more...]

Child Neglect in a Helicopter World


I find myself a bit conflicted here. I'm seeing a story about a South Carolina mother charged with neglect pass across facebook. "Mom Jailed Because She Let Her 9-Year-Old Daughter Play in the Park Unsupervised," the title reads. My friends are outraged, and are recounting stories of playing alone at the park themselves at that age. But when I clicked on the link I quickly felt that the title---and my friends' defenses---were a bit misleading. This was not a case of a girl walking to a park … [Read more...]

My Daughter, the Encourager


"Dad, did you have your meeting yet?" Sally asked Sean recently. Sean had mentioned the meeting earlier in the day, and Sally had remembered."Yes, I did," Sean replied."Good job, Dad," Sally said.Our daughter Sally is many things---curious, creative, compassionate---but one thing she has shown herself to be, time and again, is an encourager. It's funny, my parents always said that children who aren't spanked grow up to be selfish, spoiled, uncaring brats. Not so. I don't spank … [Read more...]

Stranger Danger?


Last week I took Sally and Bobby for a walk. Sally was on her new, bigger bike. It wasn't actually new---it was Sean's twenty years ago, recently pulled from a barn and fixed up---but it was new to her, and it was the first time she'd been out on it. Bobby, age two, was on his pink car-scooter, which had been Sally's before him, a gift from one of my sisters. He operates it by using his legs to push off, similar to using two oars in tandem, and the speed he can achieve is truly impressive. He … [Read more...]

You Are Not Entitled to My Life

freedom (1)

Ever since reading her post about parents being "involved" in their adult children's romantic relationships, I've been bothered by a comment blogger That Mom left in her own comment section. In that comment, she condemned the "hands off" approach as unhealthy. Note that she's not talking about young children. She's talking about young adults. She argues that parents should be involved in every area of their young adult children's lives from careers to marriages.The thing is, I remember what … [Read more...]

Just Who Is Teaching Respect?


I grew up in a (very) large Christian homeschooling family where children were expected to be "respectful." Or so I thought. Mainly this meant saying "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" and obeying your parents, and now I'm shaking my head at how shallow this is and everything it misses.A few weeks ago my two youngest brothers, still in elementary school, shamed my mid-twenties next-in-age sister for getting a tattoo. They verbally berated her and heckled here and generally sought to humiliate her. My … [Read more...]

Should Parents Be “Involved” in Their Children’s Love Lives?


Blogger That Mom recently began a series on courtship. I don't know where she will take the subject as she goes on through the series, but I did want to touch on the premise she begins with---that parents need to be involved. The Necessary ParentWhen we attended Bill Gothard’s IBLP Basic Seminar back in the mid-80s, one of the topics he covered was dating. This was before he had moved into his courtship teachings and even before anyone we knew of had started discussing things like courtship … [Read more...]