More Voices Speak out against Courtship

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I've noticed more and more voices speaking out against courtship, and the interesting thing is that it's no longer limited to those who have questioned more of the beliefs and ideologies conservative Christian homeschooling culture. No, it's some of those who stayed in the fold, who did everything right, who have remained the poster children to this day who are now speaking out. And I find that fascinating.Today it's Thomas Umstattd Jr., a proud homeschool graduate active in conservative … [Read more...]

Protecting Your Marriage from Adultery

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Guest Post by MeganOriginally posted on Public QuestionI feel the need to respond to something that’s popped up in my newsfeed several times. Before I launch into my response, I want to clarify some things: This is not an attack on Danielle, who seems to make people happy with her writing. This is not an attack on Christianity.This is an attack on the insidious way patriarchy—a human-made system & an ideology that is unbelievably insidious, invading even our most intimate act … [Read more...]

Premarital Sex and Marital Problems

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I've written a lot about my parents decision to have us children court rather than date. From time to time I've seen readers express confusion as to why parents would reject for their children a process that worked for them. The truth is that my parents turned to courtship for my siblings and I because they believed that dating hadn't worked for them.I recently mentioned that I was conceived before my parents married. In other words, when my parents taught my siblings and I abstinence before … [Read more...]

Should Parents Be “Involved” in Their Children’s Love Lives?

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Blogger That Mom recently began a series on courtship. I don't know where she will take the subject as she goes on through the series, but I did want to touch on the premise she begins with---that parents need to be involved. The Necessary ParentWhen we attended Bill Gothard’s IBLP Basic Seminar back in the mid-80s, one of the topics he covered was dating. This was before he had moved into his courtship teachings and even before anyone we knew of had started discussing things like courtship … [Read more...]

It Starts at Five

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Sally is five years old and will be heading off to kindergarten in the fall. She climbs trees and looks for worms in the dirt and gets bruises on her shins. She's an active and perfectly normal little girl. On a recent visit to my parents' house, Sally showed off a new dress to my mother. This dress, which has a slit up to the knee on one side, has become one of Sally's favorites. Why? Because she says it makes her look like Elsa from the movie Frozen, of course!"Grandma, look at my dress!" … [Read more...]

When Evangelicalism Makes Things Easy for Sexual Offenders—and Hard for Their Victims

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Evangelical teachings on repentance and forgiveness create a tremendous problem when it comes to rape or other forms of abuse. If you commit a sin and repent of it, God forgives you. I remember hearing Psalm 103:12 quoted constantly: "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Of course, this was always said in a positive way---isn't it awesome that God forgives us no matter what? But it doesn't must mean God forgives us. It also means God forgives … [Read more...]

“Modest Is Hottest” and Girls’ Self-Confidence

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By now, you've probably heard "modest is hottest" thrown around like a mantra. There are "modest is hottest" fashion shows and "modest is hottest" conferences for girls. It's about time I weighed in.Frankly, I'm conflicted. When I was a teen striving to dress modestly, I struggled with body image. I covered my body in baggy clothing. I felt unattractive, and that affected how I carried and viewed myself. So I like the idea that in many churches girls like I was are now being encouraged to … [Read more...]


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