Men Rape and Women Seduce: John Piper’s Deleted Tweet

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Last week, conservative evangelical theologian John Piper tweeted something that went so far he ultimately had to delete it. Piper has gone pretty far before, such as when he tweeted verses from Job in response to a rash of deadly tornadoes, and then wrote a blog post describing the tornadoes as "the fingers of God" come down from heaven to punish a wicked people. This time, though, his foray was into what I call "purity culture," which often devolves into rape culture and worse.Make no … [Read more...]

Crosspost: How Modesty Teachings Hurt Men Too

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By Darcy Originally posted on Darcy's Heart-Stirrings Someone posted this article today on Facebook, from a famous Christian author and blogger: If Only She Knew ~ Thoughts On Modesty I read this against my better judgment and honestly, I’m sitting here furious. I have said for years that boys in conservative Christian homes are conditioned to struggle with “modesty” and everyday normal things regarding female bodies. That they are programmed to see non-erotic body parts as erotic. This artic … [Read more...]

Do Traditional Gender Roles Lead to Good Sex? No.

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I recently read a blog post from several years ago that had me doing that whole "but . . . wait . . . what . . . NO" thing throughout my reading of it. I thought I'd share, because illustrates something we've seen before---the idea that anything good in a marriage must of necessity be a result of following the gender roles God laid out, not, you know, a result of things like communication or compromise. I've covered posts in the past by women who are functionally living in egalitarian marriages … [Read more...]

Crosspost: When Speaking to Men about False Accusations

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By Samantha FieldOriginally posted on Defeating the Dragons [content note: sexual violence] I want to preface today’s post with a few things: first, I’m going to be talking about my own personal experiences online and off, and I’m not going to be arguing about absolutes, or saying that what I’ve observed is the way it always is with no exceptions. However, I’ve noticed a pattern, and I think it’s happened often enough that it warrants a post. Also, I have been the victim of a false accusat … [Read more...]

Male Sexual Entitlement, Again

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While googling something else, I recently came upon a rather horrifying article titled The Secret to Keeping Him Committed, from a Guy's Point of View on Simon & Schuster's Tips on Life and Love. This isn't a religious website, but it echoes many of the ideas I heard growing up in a conservative evangelical church and community.On a larger scale, the thing that most faithful men complain about is that they can’t get sex when they want it in a committed relationship. When a man is single o … [Read more...]

“He’ll never by the cow when he can get the milk for free”

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I recently noted this comment between readers on one of my blog posts. trinity91Oh god, did your mom use the old "He'll never buy the cow when he can get the milk for free" idiom on you too? So, let's talk about this, because I did grow up hearing this idiom. When I was a teen, my parents told me that if I were to have sex with a man, he would have no reason to marry me, because he would have already gotten what he wanted. I was also told that once a man had gotten what he wanted---i.e. … [Read more...]

“The reason was ‘sex might happen’”

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I appreciated this recent comment by reader smrynda:I got a real world look at something like purity culture when a friend of mine decided to try to meet guys online. She went on a date with a self-professed evangelical Christian and then afterwards, he made a big point that he would not go into her residence. The reason was 'sex might happen.' She said she was totally not having sex with him, but his reason was 'I trust you but not met.' So my friend asked him, 'are you admitting you are … [Read more...]


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