CTBHHM: So Your Husband Says Not to Go to Church . . .


Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 269-270Here we come to the last example Debi offers regarding when it is okay to not obey your husband. Next week we will see her attempt to sum up what she's saying here, and the week after we will see her mangle the story of Abigail in the Old Testament. My Husband Doesn't Want Me to Go to ChurchDear Debi,My husband says I can't go to church in the evening anymore. I feel if I do not have this sweet time of fellowship, I will not be able to … [Read more...]

Strong-Willed Child: It’s All about Intent! (SMH)

disciplinata e libera

By VictoriaOriginally posted on Saving Victoria StrongThe Strong-Willed Child, chapter 1, pp. 15-26So now we come to a Q and A section that will close out Chapter 1. It is rather wordy so I’m not going into too much detail, but the first question disturbed me and I have to expound on it.The Question is as follows: “I’m still not sure if I understand the difference between willful defiance and childish irresponsibility. Could you explain it further?” Here’s Dobson’s answe … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: From Thievery to Tax Fraud


Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 267---269Are you ready for another super-confusing section where Debi tries once again to paint a line between when you can disobey your husband and when you must obey, but only succeeds in making things more confusing? Well buckle up, because that's where we're headed! ThieveryDear Mrs. Pearl,I have tried very hard to obey God and my husband, but I am afraid I will end up in jail if I keep helping him. He makes me stand "watch" at truck stops, while … [Read more...]

Strong-Willed Child: Your Child Is a Defective Grocery Store Cart


By VictoriaOriginally posted on Saving Victoria StrongThe Strong-Willed Child, chapter 1, pp. 19-25We start off this section with a rarity – agreeing with something Dobson says: “I have been watching infants and toddlers during recent years, and have become absolutely convinced that at the moment of birth there exists in children an inborn temperament which will play a role throughout life.” This is true, and since 1978 when this book was published, numerous studies have backe … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: Cross-Dressing (with a Dose of Transphobia)


Created To Be His Help Meet, p. 267Remember that we're in the section where Debi is discussion exemptions from obedience to one's husband. The trouble is that, as readers have pointed out, she's not actually explaining where the line is. Instead, she's throwing out extreme examples where it's okay to disobey. This is not all that helpful to women in much more typical situations, and in fact it (not unsurprisingly) reinforces the idea that disobeying one's husband can only be done in extreme c … [Read more...]

What Heather Suffered at Bill Gothard’s Hands


I recently read what is I think the most moving story I have read yet on the Bill Gothard scandal. In it a young woman, who goes by Heather, tells her story, written in the form of a letter to Gothard. Gothard began an inappropriate physical relationship with her when she was eleven---eleven---but that was really only the beginning. Honestly, from reading Heather's story, I get the feeling that she doesn't feel that the footsie at age 11 or the caressing and feeling-up at age 15 was the worst … [Read more...]

Strong-Willed Child: Comically Absurd Examples of “Willful Defiance”


By VictoriaOriginally posted on Saving Victoria StrongThe Strong-Willed Child, chapter 1, pp. 18-19And now Dobson shall whine about “the experts” again. “Let me repeat my observation that the most popular textbooks for parents and teachers fail even to acknowledge that parenthood involves a struggle or contest of wills.” And let me repeat my observations that parenthood doesn’t involve a contest of wills unless you want it to. You do have the option to accept your child for who they … [Read more...]