TTUAC: Anger Management, Pearl Style

angry woman

This parenting where disobedience or disagreement with parental dictates allows a great deal of selfishness on a parent’s part. The parent can tell the child when to sit and when to stand, when to go and when to come, what to do and what to say, thus eliminating the inconvenience a child naturally being her own person can cause a parent. And really, that’s what Michael is saying here. Kids are annoying because they don’t always do what you say or what you want. You can fix this by training them to obey your every word and thus eliminating their individualism or growing independence. [Read more...]

Guest Post: A Courtship Story, Part 6: The Countdown

ring

On the drive back home, I was sad. Still so many weeks till the wedding, it seemed like an eternity away. I didn’t really want to go back to living in my parent’s home till then. We snuggled in the back seat, and “Hunk” reassured me that he would be coming to see me pretty much every day, we would make it alright. When we pulled up to my family’s house and all the kids spilled out of the door to greet us, I could tell right away my parents were displeased. [Read more...]

CTNAHM: If Your Wife’s Not Fulfilled, Who Cares?

exasperated-woman-clicker-shutterstock

Only men are autonomous? Really? And women are only designed to adapt to the man? Ugh. This stuff is so toxic. I really REALLY took offense to the line “Learning to give her life to help another…” Why are women the only ones required to give their lives? Why force a woman who doesn’t want to, to act a certain way? Why does Michael say men aren’t all the same, but turn around an assume women are? Head/wall. [Read more...]

CTBHHM: “Sexual Perversions”

The Villain

But to sum up, in addressing sexual perversions, Debi condemns anal sex, pornography, and child molesting. She says to simply refuse to participate in anal sex, and presumably also pornography, and to turn your child molesting husband in to the authorities but to continue ministering to him as a faithful wife. I’m glad Debi says to turn in child molesting husbands, but I must say, it’s weirding me out that she takes on the issues she does but never once addresses marital rape. [Read more...]

Could Debi Pearl Be Changing Her Mind on Child Training?

listen

I recently came upon an article by Debi on the No Greater Joy website. It was posted this past August, so it’s relatively recent. I must say, when I first saw it yesterday I was quite surprised by it.It seems that Debi may be finally, finally beginning to listen to children and try to understand them where they are at rather than imputing all sorts of devious motives to them. I’m just struck by how much what Debi says here appears to stand at odds with what is written in To Train Up A Child. [Read more...]

CTNAHM: All Men Are Different! Surprise!

dogs

I really am getting annoyed by all the flowery comparisons and analogies in this book. It may just be me, but I am longing for the sharp “no-nonsense-this-is-how-it-is” that he claims to believe in (and was rather prominent in Debi’s book). I’m wondering what kind of audience he thinks he’s writing for that he needs 5 different examples of things that are different. Though it is a change that he’s comparing men to dogs, for once. [Read more...]

TTUAC: “Child Development” My Foot!

child development

All Michael has done in this section is tell us that small children do not know right from wrong, that parents therefore need to “train” them into immediate obedience before they figure out how to actually do wrong, and that children will somehow magically learn right from wrong at some point without the parents actually doing anything about their moral development except enforcing obedience. How is any of this any sort of overview of “children’s natural development”? [Read more...]

The Lesbian Duplex 3: An Open Thread

women

This post is for open conversation. Links, interesting thoughts, off-topic discussions—and so on! [Read more...]

CTNAHM: You are Responsible for Your Spouse’s Temperament

boxes

I don’t think that men (people) can be summed up into one of three tidy little boxes. I think people are nuanced and complicated, and often change. Some situations require a different aspect of a person’s personality. Lumping people together in small categories is harmful and disingenuous. It also takes away accountability. “It’s not my fault-my personality type means I have to be a dictator!” Or it causes blame “Well, if you weren’t such a Command woman, I wouldn’t have to yell so much!”. [Read more...]

Children Are People 1: An Open Thread

kid

This post is for conversations on children and parenting. Links, questions, discussions—and so on! [Read more...]

CTBHHM: Sexual Intercourse = Our Relationship with Jesus

sex

This week’s section brought up a lot of fairly random thoughts for me. For instance, is possible that the Pearls’ discussion of sex as “holy” has helped some couples get over the sexual hangups they’ve developed from years of seeing sex as sinful and wrong? (I actually think yes.) And, is Debi printing letters she actually received, or is she making them up to illustrate her points? (I really really want to know this!) [Read more...]

CTNAHM: Your Wife Was Created to Fill Your Sexual Needs!

smiling woman

Oh yes. Your wife was created to fill your needs. She has no needs herself, but if you treat her right, your sex life will get TONS better. “A man is never satisfied with sex until he is a master at pleasing his wife”. Um…in the above example, for 2 years, the wife wasn’t pleased. The guy never reported any problem with him not being satisfied. Though perhaps he is talking emotionally satisfied? In that case, yeah, that line works. And I don’t know about you, but I cannot wait to find out how sex is like a spiritual union with God. [Read more...]