CTBHHM: Why Was Marian’s Husband So Loving?


Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 286-86 Dear Mr. and Mrs. Pearl,I thought you might be interested to hear of my husband's passing, and what a blessing it is to have been married to a husband who lived what you teach. He went out to do yard work in the afternoon of September 24 and as he went out the door, he turned and said to me, "It has been a wonderful life with you." Those were the last words I ever heard him say. He came in a few minutes later, went into a back room, and dropped dead … [Read more...]

What Ebola Tells Us about Ourselves


I remember having conversations about ebola while it was still "safely" in West Africa. I remember reading that part of the problem in West Africa was that many people had become convinced that ebola was a government hoax, and that among some there was a distrust of "western" medicine. We wouldn't have to worry about ebola if it came to the U.S., others assured me, because we wouldn't have these problems, and ebola would be quickly contained.Now granted, there are other differences---we have … [Read more...]

Complicating the “Islam Is Especially Violent” Narrative


There is a common narrative in the West that Islam is more violent that other religions. I want to is complicate this overly simplistic---and, frankly, wrong---narrative. It is absolutely true that some Muslims use Islam to justify violence, but those who use this to tie Islam to violence are quick to erase peaceful Muslims (who don't tend to make the news) and quick to ignore violence perpetrated by the West. In this post I will look at justifications of violence against civilians, human rights … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: A Young Wife Should Be “Bored and Lonely”


Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 283-84In this passage Debi explains how marital bonding takes place. I hope you're ready, because it's bad. Early RootsThe seeds of bonding are planted early in the marriage. When a young wife gets bored and lonely being at home by herself, she spends her days preparing for her husband's return each evening, and she looks forward to their weekends together. She spends the lonely hours planning for him, cooking for him, cleaning for him, and eagerly … [Read more...]

“Such! A! Flirt!”


This comment by reader onamission5 was left on "What's Your Favorite Princess?"At kindergarten orientation for one of my kids several years ago, one of the moms there, every time her son would so much as look at or try to speak to any female person young or old, would loudly exclaim for everyone to Look At What A Flirt he was and How Much He Likes Girls. It made the child obviously uncomfortable. It made everyone in the room obviously uncomfortable! He seemed more to me like a shy boy … [Read more...]

The Problems with Spanking a la Dobson

child crying

The word "spanking" is used in so many different ways. Some use it to mean slapping a toddler's bottom or thigh for misbehavior in the moment, others use it to mean sending a child to their room for a paddling, and some use it to encompass essentially any physical violence. My parents practiced a sort of "ritualized spanking" a la Michael Pearl and James Dobson. Despite my parents' best intentions---and their care in following the rules laid out by these teachers---my experience was profoundly n … [Read more...]

The Lesbian Duplex 8: An Open Thread


This space is for conversation between commenters.* If you have a link or article or interesting thought that’s not relevant to an ongoing thread, you can share it here. If a conversation on another post has turned entirely off topic, you can bring it here. And so on. Every so often, as the number of comments on a given Lesbian Duplex post becomes unmanageable, I put up a fresh post. For those who are interested, I also try to have regular open posts specifically on children and parenting is … [Read more...]