Why I Don’t Force Confrontation with My Children

Last week I wrote about the importance of getting down on your child’s level to interact with them face to face. Several commenters noted that as children they had sometimes found it scary or uncomfortable when an adult got down on their level, especially if it involved forced eye contact or interaction they couldn't choose to avoid. This brought up something I didn't discuss in that post---namely, that I try to avoid forcing interaction---and especially confrontation---with my children.I thi … [Read more...]


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How (Not) to Convince Someone to Have Kids

This week, Gavin McInnes posted a piece on The Federalist titled Why Your Top 10 Reasons For Not Having Kids Are Stupid. It would have been more aptly titled "10 Condescending Reasons This Parent Looks Down on People Who Don't Have Kids." McInnes does a terrible job making the case for having children---and I say this as a parent myself. But in making his (terrible) case, McInnes also illustrates some central problems in the way conservatives go about attempting to enact social change.Let's h … [Read more...]


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How I’ve Learned (and Unlearned) Parenting

I was raised in a strict evangelical home, and was taught that children must learn to respect their elders and obey their parents. As a result, I learned to view parenting from an obedience-focused punitive mindset. I left my evangelical upbringing behind just before I gave birth to my first child, my daughter Sally, and that meant I had to reinvent parenting. Over the years I've found the website Aha Parenting helpful, and I've learned a lot from the authors there, but I've also spent a lot of m … [Read more...]


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Guest Post: Not a Nice Story

By DarcyOriginally posted on Darcy's Heart StirringsFrom babyhood they said "You are a dirty sinner, there is nothing good in you, you are destined for hell because of your nature."So we, small humans, awoke to a world where toddlers need the sin and foolishness beaten out of them with switches and wooden spoons and belts.They said "Only with Jesus are you worth anything."So as small children we begged Jesus to come into our hearts and make the dirty clean.They s … [Read more...]


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How Should We Understand Children’s Political Agency?

I don't remember my first political activity, but my parents do. I'm told I was on the front page of the newspaper, campaigning against Hillarycare. Throughout my entire childhood I was thrust into the political spotlight, expected to campaign for my parents' political candidates and parrot my parents' views. At pro-life rallies, I made sure my smallest siblings held signs with slogans like "I'm a child, not a choice" or "Adoption, the loving option." While still a child, my father left … [Read more...]


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Demons and the Consequences of Feeding Children’s Fears

So, demons. I've written on this topic before, but it's been a while, and when I last wrote on this topic my children were too small to be scared of the dark. When I was a girl, I was taught that demons were real. My dad used to pray a "hedge of protection" around our house, to keep the demons out. My parents told me that there's an invisible world all around us, in which angels and demons are at war, constantly.At one point when I was girl, another woman in my parents' Bible study group … [Read more...]


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Please Don’t Deny Our Agency

I wrote the first draft of this post last summer. I wasn't satisfied with it as it was, so I set it aside and promptly forgot about it. A conversation with one of my sisters reminded me of the post, so I've pulled it out and dusted it up.In writing, last summer, about Josh Duggar's Ashley Madison account, I noted that: Josh and Anna didn’t have sex until they married, so they had no way of knowing whether they are sexually compatible. Further, Josh doesn’t believe in birth control and he and … [Read more...]


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