An Examination of Emotional Manipulation

My husband brings in the mail. “There’s a letter for you,” he informs me. “Who is it from?” I ask. “It’s from your parents,” he says, and puts it on the table in front of me. I look at my mother’s handwriting, and my heart rate starts to rise. I feel my stomach twist, and [Read More...]

Who are you trying to follow?

I was taught by my parents that my goal in life should be to follow God. Except that I now realize that in practice what my parents really meant was that I should follow them. My parents were convinced that they had it all right. They had a direct line to God, and they had [Read More...]

“We don’t ‘do’ teenagers”

As I approached puberty, my parents told me that “we’re not going to do that whole teenager thing.” They said that this whole idea of teenage angst and rebellion is a modern social construct, and that the word “teenager” was less than a hundred years old. Children, they asserted, were supposed to move straight from [Read More...]

An Ideological Straight-Jacket

I just realized that in my last post I made the my home and those of other daughters who leave sound like a sort of prison complete with wardens. I will explore that idea here, and argue that the children of Christian Patriarchy essentially grow up in ideological straight-jackets. The parents of Christian Patriarchy have one [Read More...]

My Life, as told by Disney

My all time favorite Disney movie is Tangled. When I first watched it, I cried and cried. I couldn’t understand how anyone could produce a movie like this without knowing about the stay at home daughter movement, because in my eyes, that’s what this movie was about. Rapunzel has grown up in a tower, secluded [Read More...]

The Beautiful Girlhood Doll, part 10: I’m a Person, Not a Doll!

Pretty young woman with arms raised

It has now been some years since I left my parents’ house and shifted for myself. I think my parents were somewhat surprised that I was able to make it on my own and that I did not come home asking for help, or maybe it was just me who was surprised. I found inner [Read More...]

The Beautiful Girlhood Doll, part 9: The Broken Doll

broken doll

Soon after this rethinking of my parents’ beliefs, I returned home from college for a semester break more worried than I have ever been in my life. What were my parents going to think about my new beliefs on things like evolution, the Bible, the pro-life movement, and female equality? For a few weeks I [Read More...]

The Problem: Parents or Ideology?

After my It’s About the Daughters post was crossposted on No Longer Quivering, I received the following response: You make a lot of generalizations here. Do you really believe it is this way for all, or even the majority of, quiverful daughters? I have no doubt it’s happened to some, and I support you in [Read More...]

(Too) Great Expectations

Quiverfull teaches that Christian parents should have large numbers of children in order to raise up and army for Christ and take back America for His Glory. My parents always told me that they were filling their quiver with arrows in order to shoot them out into the world and retake this country and this [Read More...]

Sons of Patriarchy

Yes yes, I know I just said it’s about the daughters, but it’s actually about the sons too, and here’s why: Christian Patriarchy may say its about creating the perfect godly family, but, at its heart, it’s about control. Yes, that sounds kind of harsh! Let me explain. In Christian Patriarchy, parents don’t let their [Read More...]

It’s about the Daughters

When it comes to the multitude of problems with Christian Patriarchy, it is the position of the daughters that I am most passionate about. The patriarch has it pretty good – he’s the one who gets to call the shots. The sons usually don’t have it so bad either – they’re patriarchs in training. The [Read More...]